When I heard that they were screening porn in Ryan Auditorium on Dillo Day last spring, I literally ran to Tech to get a seat. There seemed to be something deliciously sacrilegious about watching people knock uglies in the same classroom where I had taken medieval philosophy.

But despite the naughty factor, the film was kind of disappointing. You see, porn kind of mystifies me. It doesn’t gross me out, and I can even appreciate its entertainment value (blowjobs in fast-forward are hilarious!). But try as I might, I just don’t think most of it’s sexy.

Apparently I’m not alone. Most of the women I know are in the same boat. While our male friends drool over a ridiculous boob job faking an orgasm, most women are left wondering what the big deal is.

Before you get your panties in a bunch, let me first say that there are plenty of gals out there who love porn. But it still stands that men make up the majority of the market. Hell, the only reason Playgirl’s still around is because of its devoted gay audience.

There are a lot of reasons women are turned off by porn. It’s too graphic, there’s little to no intimacy involved, and it is almost always from the man’s point of view. Which (surprise!) are exactly the reasons that most guys like it.

There are a lot of women who say that porn is generally misogynistic and demeaning. Call them crazy militant feminists, but they have a point. Since most porn is intended for men, the women’s sexual enjoyment or even basic comfort is usually ignored. Female porn stars commonly do things that would cause a normal person to get lockjaw or back convulsions, and so women watching porn usually wince in pain more often than they sigh with pleasure.

Thankfully there’s a new genre of porn out there intended for women. Called “feminist” porn, it’s all about female enjoyment and empowerment. Apparently they even have awards for it. So if you’re looking for an alternative to male-dominated smut, feminist porn is a good place to start (check out the company Good for Her, which carries lots of feminist porn).

As for those of you girls who are anti-porn because it increases violence towards women, there have actually been several studies done that show that sex crimes rates are lower in countries that consume large amounts of pornography (Japan, anyone?). These studies seem to indicate that men are dealing with their sexual aggression towards women through porn instead of in reality. Whether that’s a good or bad is up to you. I personally think that it’s great that porn provides a relatively safe outlet, but I’m kind of horrified that a porn-free society could turn people in to crazed sex offenders. But that’s an issue for another column.

If you’re an already avid porn-watcher, just make sure that you’re being responsible in your smut choices. That means nothing involving people who are underage and nothing involving permanent bodily harm. And please, no animals either. Also be wary that a lot of porn produced on the Internet involves women (and probably some men) who are sex slaves and often have no choice as to their involvement in pornography. By watching this kind of porn you are supporting an exploitive and highly illegal industry.

If you’ve never watched a porno in your life, I would encourage you to go trolling in your local porn shop and find out what flips your switch. There’s something for everybody these days (yes, even you ladies). Because no matter how you feel about porn, the fact remains that it’s here to stay. Just ask any thirteen-year-old boy worth his weight in Jergens.