Comments on: What’s your fantasy?

By: Bella

Bella — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 09:11:52 +0000

What is autopedophilia? Where does it come from? Is it bad?
-thanks, Bella

By: Jay

Jay — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:33:07 +0000

Jeff said:

“Fantasies and fetishes are very plastic during early adolescence and can easily be modified, especially if they are leading to anti-social paths. For instance, bondage fetishes usually start at a very young age. They are closely associated with Aspergers Syndrome, with kids who like to feel confined by being tied up.”

Does this mean that I have Aspergers Syndrome or something? When I was a kid I loved being tied up almost constantly. Never liked pain or anything sexual along with it just tied up starting at about 4 years old. I was never abused or anything though. What is “Aspergers Syndrome” anyway?

By: jeff

jeff — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:11:10 +0000

Very informative. Often these responses develop quite by accident. Something occurs when the adolescent is sexually active (erect) and the unconscious mind develops a ‘trigger signal’ which forms the foundation of the fetish. Sadly, this sort of information is not given to kids in sex education classes. Fantasies and fetishes are very plastic during early adolescence and can easily be modified, especially if they are leading to anti-social paths. For instance, bondage fetishes usually start at a very young age. They are closely associated with Aspergers Syndrome, with kids who like to feel confined by being tied up. This is the ‘crush reflex’ but it can translate into a fetish later. Most fetishes are fairly harmless, but guilt feelings can sometimes turn them nasty. Churches and religious groups with narrow codes of morality usually have the highest number of people with paraphilias. The Catholic church for instance has a huge problem with pedophilia in its clergy. The best way to ensure the kids are having a healthy sex life is give them a good sex education, and don’t be scared to discuss hard issues with them.

By: David

David — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 17:11:42 +0000

The theory that viewing pornography as a teen causes a tolerance to porn and then causes the teen to seek out more hardcore porn and eventually causing a dependance on porn is absurd. Worse you claim this will eventually drive the teen to act out his or her fantasies, with the implication that those fantasies they act upon will be somehow violent or otherwise destructive in nature. This theory of yours has no basis in fact. It looks much more like you are trying to invent a problem so that you can then charge to treat the non-existant problem.

By: Stephen Schultz

Stephen Schultz — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 19:45:33 +0000

This is a very interesting topic. The concept of a sexual quirk is very appropriate, but often there is a huge grey area between quirk and misconduct. There is definitely a fuzzy line when addressing adolescents and their sexual development and maturity.
Within my work, (www.oxbowacademy.net) I have had the unfortunate experience of assisting parents who have had their teenage sons involved in sexual misconduct with others. Usually it is a cousin or sibling that these boys have had hands on sexual experience with. Pornography and sexual fantasy is a common thread through each case. While I won’t go so far as to say it causes sexually acting out, it certainly is a contributing factor.
The pain these parents and families go through is heart wrenching. The boys too, seem emotionally detached and struggle with establishing trusting relationships. These issues are affecting families at every socio-economic level with no regard to religion or race.
As adults, we often write about and discuss sexuality with a narrow focus that tends to ignore the physical and biological effects of Pornography on a developing adolescent brain. You can’t ignore the biological effects of serotonin, dopamine and the secretion of other neurotransmitters when pornography is viewed. Once a pattern is developed, “tolerance” for what was once stimulating occurs. The next course of action is to find and view something more “Hardcore” to continue this cycle. At some point, a dependence is developed and the next step is acting out what has only been seen and fantasized about previously. It is one thing for adults to act on quirks, and quite another for developing adolescents to act out sexual misconduct. It’s also irresponsible for adults to expect adolescents to know the difference.
These teens aren’t perverts, crazy, outcasts or sociopaths. The teens we work with are simply struggling with the many facets of today’s adolescent environment.