Why I hate frat parties
With the popularity of the short film documentary Rushed on North by Northwestern, I thought it was definitely time that I address half of the appeal of the Greek scene on Northwestern’s campus: the less-than-elusive frat party. I haven’t been to a frat party since winter quarter of my freshman year. Excuse me, “fraternity” party. Apparently they don’t like the use of the word “frat,” but it’s been nearly two years since I’ve gone to one. “Things have changed!” you may tell me. “You should give them a chance again!”
Fuck off. I can categorically say that, without setting foot past Tech in nearly two years, nothing about them has changed and nothing about them will ever change.
Because frat parties suck.
Yes, I’m sure if I lived up North I would be more used to them. Yes, if I was still in a sorority I may have even grown to like them. But even during my year-long tenure in a sorority, I still despised going to frat parties and avoided them like the plague, begging the few girls that I could to come with me to a house or apartment party instead.
Maybe it’s because I have a different standard of parties than my fellow comrades, or maybe I had a bad experience at a frat that I’m attempting to block out of my fragile mind. Either way, bear with me here as I attempt to enumerate my hatred of frat parties.
- A dance party is all well and good, but all too often do frat parties decompose into a tepid cesspool of sweaty bodies, like an amoeba with very little rhythm.
- Don’t even get me started on dry frat parties. I don’t see the point.
- The good thing about house and apartment parties? There are almost always two exits. This proves handy when the police show up and you need to get your underage self away from the scene or when there is a fire. While you kids are all stuck in a frat house basement and pass out from smoke inhalation, I’ll be halfway home. Not to mention trying to get away from creepers. They can only block one exit at a time.
- Speaking of, I feel like the whole point of going to a frat party is because there will be a guaranteed population of gentlemen at your beck and call. However, when every girl this side of the Arch thinks that, it becomes the opposite of a sausage fest (A taco fest? Is that too vulgar?). If I wanted to go to a party where a ton of girls argue over which of the three standing boys they are going to sleep with, I would have gone to all of those dances that the private all-boys school in my town used to have in high school. No, frat parties on this campus are quite the opposite of the stereotypical man mecca.
- Nothing. But. Beer. Save for the few “Around the World” parties or some other randomly generated theme that ensures actual liquor for the first twenty revelers, there are generally nothing but kegs at a frat party. The jungle juice will always run out fast because, as stated before, the high volume of girls means a low volume of non-Bud Light drinks. It’s science. At least at an apartment or house party, you have the sweet hope of getting some liquor in you.
- Minor complaint, but a complaint nonetheless: No party past Hamlin is worth walking to if you’re on South Campus. Especially with the recent crackdown on SafeRide, you’re better off getting drunk at home than attempting to walk up to the fraternity quad.
Seriously, if frat parties ceased to exist, I’d be the first in line to throw a party commemorating their extinction. Although, on second thought, maybe it is a good thing they’re up there. As long as there are frat parties, there will be things for me to complain about, as well as alternate forms of entertainment for those on this campus who have an innate fear of theater and film majors. I’ve met some nice frat boys in my life and I’ve even met nice frat boys that are theater or film majors, but something about these two worlds just doesn’t mix for me. Anything I could do at a frat party, I could easily do down here, in the safety of an apartment. Hell, even in a dorm room.
Although going to a frat party does make for one epic walk of shame.
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Check out a history of NU's Greek system, fashion advice for sorority recruitment, the controversial short film documentary, Rushed, or our party columnist's other advice on how to have fun at a party no matter what. Or you can return home.
I agree: frat parties (at least at Northwestern) suck, but for different reasons, mainly LACK of women. I have never been to a party at Northwestern where the girls outnumbered the guys. Ever. I don’t know what frat you went to that this was the case, but clue me in, please. I want a piece of the action. On a sidenote, I don’t know where you are getting your information about private all-boys schools. I went to one and I can honestly say I have never witnessed what you described.
Frat’s aside, I think you are missing the bigger picture: Northwestern has a crappy party scene in general. I have never been to one of the satisfying apartment parties you speak of. The truth is, they tend to be even worse. Crowded, sweaty, and the beer always runs out in 25 minutes, not to mention the nerve racking shake of the floor which feels as if it will collapse at a moments notice.
You also claim that ‘fraternity party’ is preferred over ‘frat paty’. Where did you get that tidbit? I don’t know any brothers who would give a damn either way. Similarly, you make it sound as if there is a substantial film-and-theater-phobic population on campus. Who are these people again? I don’t know any. Personally, I don’t see why the worlds of frats and theater/film majors don’t mix. Nice job explaining yourself.
You said ‘it’s been nearly two years since I’ve gone to [a frat party].’ What then gives you the authority to comment? I remember reading somewhere that a good writer writes what she knows. Clearly you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Tom Nunlist
March 30, 2007 at 10:19 am
The sole purpose of frat parties are a way to get a bunch of women up north… if you noticed a lack of women, then clearly that frat sucks.
Also there’s an obvious social divide between North and South campus. Some Northerners don’t even know what Ridge and Davis implies.
And the best apartment parties are hard to come by. But they are well worth the search, the walk past Sheridan and the Escort wait.
The best things in life always are.
Oscar
March 30, 2007 at 4:27 pm
It’s just an opinion.
Chill out, broseph.
Shayden
March 30, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Yeahhh…I’d have to disagree on the part about lack of women at frat parties, too. There have ALWAYS been more girls at EVERY party I end up at, frat or not.
Katy
March 31, 2007 at 2:06 am
I agree about this whole article. Frat parties just consist of people standing around drunk. What does this accompish? Nothing. I mean, if you want to have that, at least have more than beer and sketchy punch. That’s gross.
Megan
April 1, 2007 at 12:29 am
I dont know what fraternity parties you ladies have been too, obviously either a shitty ass house or a tiny college frat, but you need to go to a real frat house that knows how to throw a party because no dinky ass apartment party with 20 people will ever compare to a massive house party at a good fraternity.
jacob
June 17, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Wow, this article makes you sound like an elitist bitch. And I’m not even in a frat.
Christopher Columbus
June 18, 2008 at 8:27 am
The reasons you give are as foolish and shallow as the parties themselves, with the exception of “getting away from creepers”. Maybe frat parties suck because they are full of sub-standard bigots to whom the word consent is a one word joke.
Dan
January 20, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Frat parties – and frats in general – are indicative of just how stupid the majority of the human race is. Frats are for halfwit drunks and druggies with no taste, wit, intelligence, or decency.
A frat house is nothing more than a gigantic rectum where human fecal matter congregates.
Jones
August 9, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Jones,
Try as you might to sound intelligent with your allusions to gigantic rectums, your argument is based on naive generalizations and lacks taste, wit, intelligence, and decency.
Come off your high horse and learn to write. That comment is full of the same hollow, pretentious prose that plagues the university scene.
anon
September 22, 2009 at 12:26 pm