The Reaping, directed by Stephen Hopkins, is a horror movie. Don’t look at it as high cinema because it won’t ever be considered a piece of life-changing art. As long as you walk in with low expectations, though, The Reaping presents some good old, rickety-crypt, possessed-kid, frogs-and-fire-falling-from-the-sky fun.

The story centers around Katherine, played by two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank, an ex-minister who turns her talents toward disproving miracles after her family is murdered in Sudan. Asked to investigate a small town in Louisiana that appears to be experiencing the ten Biblical plagues, she and her trusty sidekick, Ben (Idris Elba), find some supernatural surprises.

While the plot engages, the characters aren’t well developed. Even Swank seems to be defined by irritatingly few characteristics. Boy, does she not believe in miracles, and man oh man, does she love to go fearlessly cruising through dark forests/rivers of blood/potential witch houses by herself, and that’s about it. Everyone else in the film can be pretty thoroughly summed up by “really nice” or “super creepy.”

But no one expects realism from a movie like this. What you should expect is an enjoyable combination of some classically scary things. Why do little kids scare us so much? I’m not sure, but The Reaping’s Loren (AnnaSophia Robb) does not seem to be exempt from this rule, especially considering how much terror her eyes alone cause. Put this in the mix with cults, the plagues of Egypt (which never get old), and southern accents and your squeamish girlfriends will be writhing in their seats. It won’t leave you with any lingering fears once you get home, but it’s fun at the time.

The only real complaint with the scariness factor was the movie’s tendency to confuse the concept of “frightening” with the concept of “making extremely loud, sudden noises.” Yes, Director Hopkins, our nervous systems and reflexes function, thank you. More time should have been put into actually scare the audience as opposed to just startling it.

This weekend, if you find yourself looking for a solid little horror film with mediocre yet somewhat delightful special effects, go see The Reaping. And just in case you don’t make it, here are some important things to note.

Lessons Learned:

1) Don’t take drinks from strangers, did you listen to Alcohol Edu AT ALL?

2) Never ever ever go to Sudan.

3) If you think you might be a supporting role in a horror film, it might be time to make a decision about that posthumous organ donation thing.

4) Just don’t worship the devil.

5) Tiny towns are always creepy.

6) Stay out of crypts, ruins, the rain, forests at night, and, particularly, sacrificial cult chambers (i.e., the basement of Tech).