I was having a conversation with one of my male friends during which he announced that he was planning on getting tested for HIV. He was starting a new relationship and just wanted to take a “precautionary measures.”

That was great, I told him. But what about the other sexually transmitted infections: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes?

“Oh, I’d know if I had one of those,” he said confidently.

I was a little appalled. Having spent the greater part of middle school sex ed looking at slides of people’s infested nether regions, I know that there are definite signs and symptoms of STIs — but not always. Yeah, if it burns when you pee, you’ve probably got a problem. But there’s a reason that chlamydia has been called the “silent epidemic.”

I already wrote about the reasons why testing is a good idea, but I wrote that under the assumption that most college students have had some STI education. Well, thanks to abstinence-only education, that assumption has been blown to bits. When questioned, very few college students can name the common STIs, let alone their symptoms.

Maybe that’s why our age group is the most highly infected. Sixty percent of STI infections occur in people younger than 25. STIs are not things that happen to “other people.” Knowing your STI status and that of your partner will help you to protect yourself.

Searle and Evanston Hospital offer testing for STIs. While many tests are free, some cost a lot. Check to see if your or your parent’s insurance covers the expense or you could end up with one whopper of a bill. You can also get tested by your health provider at home, or go to a free clinic in Chicago.

That said, I’m providing the following user-friendly STI guide: how they’re transmitted, how to protect yourself, what the symptoms are, how to test for them and treatment options.

Viral STIs

HIV/AIDS
How it’s transmitted: Any contaminated body fluid — including blood, semen, preseminal fluid, vaginal fluid and breast milk — coming into contact with a mucous membrane or the bloodstream. You cannot get HIV from saliva, but you can get it from oral sex.
How to prevent it: Use a condom or dental dam every time, including oral sex. Don’t use an oil-based lube, like Vaseline, as this will break down the latex. Use a water-based one, instead. Don’t floss your teeth before a date, either.
Symptoms: Since HIV attacks your immune system, early signs are fevers, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, weakness and weight loss.
How to test for it: HIV antibodies don’t actually show up until three to six months after infection, so you have to wait until after this window period to be tested. A sample of your blood, saliva, or urine will be taken and run through the ELISA test, a highly accurate and commonly used test.
Treatment options: There is currently no known cure for HIV/AIDS. There is anti-retroviral medication available, but most people don’t live longer than ten years after being infected.

Herpes
How it’s transmitted: There are two types of herpes: Type One, which is oral herpes, and Type Two, which is genital herpes. Oral herpes manifests as common cold sores, and most people — 80-90% of adults over 50 — have Type One herpes. You can get Type One from any kind of oral contact. Genital herpes, on the other hand, is transmitted through any kind of skin-to-skin contact. That means if you give oral sex to someone with genital herpes, you can get genital herpes in your mouth. Someone who has genital herpes in their mouth can then also pass that on to someone during oral sex. Genital to genital contact can also spread genital herpes.
How to prevent it: Although condoms can help prevent transmission, they do not cover the entire infected area. Not having sex with someone with a herpes outbreak can also diminish chances of transmission, but someone with no visible signs of herpes can be close to having an outbreak and pass the virus on. Always use a condom or dental dam for oral sex. Using lots of lube to prevent skin abrasions can help, too.
Symptoms: After infection, outbreak usually occurs within two weeks. An outbreak starts with itching, then sores break out which ooze clear fluid before scabbing over. The outbreak usually clears up within a month, but recurrences can happen several times a year, especially during the first year of infection.
How to Test for It: A swab can be taken directly from a suspected herpes sore, or a person can have a antibody blood test done. Some blood tests can determine the difference between Type One and Type Two, but some cannot. Consult with your doctor to make sure you’re getting the right test.
Treatment: There is no cure for herpes, but there are anti-viral medications available. Outbreaks will gradually become less frequent over the years, but a person can still spread the virus throughout their lifetime.

Human Papillomavirus
How it’s transmitted: There are over a hundred types of HPV, most of which cause common body warts. There are two strains that cause genital warts, and twelve that can cause cervical cancer. HPV is highly contagious and is transmitted through any kind of skin-to-skin contact. Nearly half of women — 44.8 percent — aged 20 to 24 years old will have some strain of HPV infection.
How to prevent it: Although condoms have been shown to be helpful in preventing transmission, it does not cover the entire infected area. You can still pass on HPV while using condoms. There is, however, a new vaccine available, Gardasil, which vaccinates against both strains that cause genital warts and the two strains of HPV that cause 70 percent of cervical cancer. The vaccine is recommended for women ages nine through 26, but men can also be vaccinated. The vaccine does not work against those strains of HPV already present, but can prevent the others. The vaccine is given in three parts over six months, and, while expensive, is covered through many health plans.
Symptoms: Genital warts usually appear within one to three months of infection, but it is possible to be carrying the virus and show no signs of infection. Cervical cancer strains often have no symptoms in either men or women.
How to Test for It: A diagnosis of genital warts can usually be made visually. For cancer-causing strains, women should get an annual pap smear to detect any cell changes on their cervix. HPV tests are only recommended for women over thirty, as most HPV strains will clear the body on their own before then. There is no HPV test for men.
Treatment: Most HPV strains will leave the body within a few years and no additional treatment is need unless the virus causes warts or cervical cancer. Warts can be burned off, and cervical cancer can treated with surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy.

Bacterial STIs

Chlamydia
How it’s transmitted: This bacterial infection is transmitted through vaginal, anal or oral sex. Yes, you can get chlamydia in your throat. Wrap that sucker up. Vaginal infections, if left untreated, can cause pelvic inflammatory disease in women and sterility in both men and women. In men, untreated chlamydia can cause sterility in as little as little as six weeks.
How to prevent it: Using a condom or dental dam every time you have sex will help to prevent transmission.
Symptoms: Chlamydia often has no symptoms. In women, possible symptoms include unusual discharge, abdominal pain, fever, and pain while urinating. In men, unusual discharge and pain while urinating are symptoms.
How to Test for it: A cervical or urethral swab is taken and tested. Yes, that means that something gets inserted. No easy blood test, here, kids.
Treatment: There are several oral antibiotics that treat chlamydia. Most don’t need to be taken for more than a week.

Gonorrhea
How it’s transmitted: Through vaginal, anal and oral sex. Yes, again, you can get this in your throat. Very nasty.
How to prevent it: Again, use a condom. And a dental dam, when necessary.
Symptoms: Both women and men can have no symptoms. In woman, gonorrhea can cause unusual discharge or bleeding and difficulty urinating. In men, symptoms include an unusual discharge. Both men and women can have oral gonorrhea, which is usually just mistaken for a sore throat. Symptoms, when they do appear, usually happen within one to two weeks after infection.
How to Test for it: By looking for the bacteria from a swab of discharge under a microscope (which is only really an accurate test for men) or doing a culture test from a cervical swab.
Treatment: Single dose oral antibiotic.

Syphilis
How it’s transmitted: Through vaginal, anal, and oral sex. It can also be transmitted through mucous membranes and broken skin.
How to prevent it: Use a goddamn condom (am I starting to sound like a broken record yet?).
Symptoms: First a sore appears near the point of contact, usually ten to 90 days after infection. About one to six months later, a rash appears, especially on the hands and feet. This can come with sore throat, fatigue, lymph-node swelling and weight loss. If left untreated, syphilis eventually causes tumor-like growths on the skin and mucous membranes, and insanity. Famous people who allegedly contracted syphilis include John F. Kennedy, Adolf Hitler, Frederich Nietzsche and Al Capone.
How to Test for it: A simple blood test can detect syphilis antibodies.
Treatment: If you catch it early, a quick dose of penicillin should do the trick.

While there are other sexually transmitted infections — like scabies, trichomoniasis, pubic lice and Hepatitis B — these are not commonly looked for in routine STI testing. Scabies, “trich,” and public lice are usually diagnosed visually by a doctor, while there is a common vaccine for Hepatitis B that most college students are required to have.

The bottom line? Get tested and encourage your partners to do the same. It’s the only way to protect yourself from ending up on one of those grotesque slides in middle-school sex ed classrooms.