I’ve noticed that this column focuses too much on problems of the heterosexual sort. To all my card-carrying ‘mos out there, I apologize. Raised in the only Seattle neighborhood with large rainbow flags on every street corner, I really should know better.

That being said, I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s column to one of the most tantamount events of any gay person’s life: coming out of the closet.

Or, in plainer terms, announcing to the world that you like having sex with people whose genitalia match yours.

Coming out can be anxiety-inducing, to be sure. If the 2004 presidential election was any indication, this country does not embrace homosexuality. Sure, there’s a welcoming community in most major cities, but not all gay babies have the privilege of being born in either San Francisco or New York.

There’s also the issue of friends and family. People’s reactions are usually unpredictable, and coming out to potentially homophobic friends is certainly a daunting task. And as for your family…well, who really wants to discuss their sex life with their parents, anyway?

Okay. So coming out of the closet is scary. But you don’t want to stay in there forever and end up like a certain senator from Idaho. You’ve gotta come out sometime (that is, if you don’t want to be sexually repressed and unhappy your whole life). And what better time to do it than college?

Think about it: You’re away from your parents. The cliquish jungle of high school is a thing of the past. You’re meeting all kinds of new people. You’re trying to “find” yourself. And if you happen to find that you’re gay, why not tell people?

Not that it’s that simple. But these four years are our testing ground for the real world. Just take a look around you: Everyone is trying to figure out who they are, sexually and otherwise. College is a nice, safe place to get it right before harsh reality intrudes.

The harsh reality, of course, being that coming out doesn’t get any easier after college – just ask the people I know who announced they were gay in midlife after marriages and children.

Of course, there are always going to be those who repress their sexuality for the sake of their family or their religion. I’ll tell you this right now: Your sexuality isn’t going to change. Your parents will most likely get over it. And Jesus already knows you’re gay, so stop trying to hide it.

The truth is, if you come out on this campus, most people will hardly bat an eye. This of course applies mostly to South campus, where the bastions of musical theater reside. (Oh man. Stereotypes. Gotta love ‘em). If you come out on North campus, they may sacrifice you to their angry Greek gods (ironic, seeing as the Greeks were totally bisexual). Or maybe they love the gays up North – I wouldn’t know, since I tend to avoid Tech and the surrounding areas like a bad case of syphillis. But all that talk of fraternity has to count for something, right?

If you’re reading this as the unwitting friend of someone coming out of the closet, try your best to be understanding. This is a tumultous time in your dear friend’s life. No, it doesn’t mean they suddenly have a crush on you. You’re probably not even that attractive. And no, it doesn’t mean that they’ve suddenly become a complete stranger. They’re still the same friend who helped you paint your entire torso purple for your first football game (Ah! You missed all the signs! You really are a bad friend!).

The most important thing to remember when coming out is that it doesn’t change who you are, nor does being gay define you. While having a supportive gay community is certainly helpful during the coming out process, it can also feel like you’ve been handed a pre-packaged identity. People will put labels on you, expect you to champion certain issues, and pressure you to dress and act a certain way. These people can go fuck themselves, because wrapping yourself in a rainbow flag and running up and down Sheridan screaming “I’m queer and I’m here!” won’t make you any gayer than you already are. You’re gay enough just by being yourself.

Northwesterners love to predict who will turn “gay by May.” Why don’t you just spoil their fun and come out of the closet now?