With new movies coming out every week, it’s hard to decide what to see. Terrible movie posters, awful catch phrases and misleading reviews by Peter Travers send mixed messages. Lindsay Lohan stripping? Sounds like a great idea! Or not.

January is the dumping ground of movies. Any movie that hoped and prayed for Academy praise was probably released at the end of December.

If you want trashy, you’re in luck this week. But then again, blowing off the head of the Statue of Liberty can only get you so far. If you’re looking for a quality cinematic experience, a lot of excellent movies from December are still showing. Juno and There Will Be Blood are definitely both sticking around at the Century 12.

Cloverfield

This super-hyped, super-mysterious monster movie has some impressive credits, but the trailer makes it look like The Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla.

The premise: Five friends are having an awesome time at a party until a monster the size of a skyscraper blows stuff up. They run and scream a lot while all the action is captured by shaky camera work, supposedly taken by the home camera of one of the characters. Sounds a lot like another movie with unknown actors.

The trailer induces seizures but could definitely look worse. With snazzy credits like director Matt Reeves, responsible for the ’90s gem Felicity, and producer J.J. Abrams of Alias, Lost and Mission Impossible: III fame. “This monster mash-up is a lot of fun, creating some intense gross-out moments and maintaining suspense throughout its speedy running time,” said Christy Lemire of the Associate Press.

Mad Money

With a predictable premise, Mad Money is intended for hours of womanly bonding. Too bad you’ll probably want to bond with the exit sign.

Directed by Callie Khouri, the woman behind Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Mad Money stars Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes as three women down on their luck who decide to steal a buck from The Federal Reserve. How will three women from completely different socio-economic backgrounds and with completely different personalities face sudden riches? A conundrum indeed!

Katie Holmes’s few scenes from the trailer alone make me never want to see this. I’m all for strong, independent women, but if this is the sort of stuff she’s doing when out of the house, she should go back in and make Tom Cruise a sandwich, or another baby, or Scientology pins. Talent like Diane Keaton’s and Queen Latifah’s is wasted on movies like this. With a rating of only 22 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s “[An] improbable and generally unfunny comedy,” according to the Hollywood Reporter.

27 Dresses

Not even the likable Katherine Heigl can save this cookie cutter rom-com. Then again, if watching one is like watching all the others, it might not be that bad if you’re in the mood for a brainless romp.

Entertainment Weekly called it “white lace porn for girls.” The always-a-bridesmaid, never-a-bride adage gets taken to the extreme in 27 Dresses. Written by Aline Brosh McKenna, the woman behind The Devil Wears Prada, it’s predictable, fluffy and light. Though it won’t win any Academy Awards, it probably won’t garner any Razzies either.

Plus, Heigl has to celebrate marriage and women somehow. She thought Knocked Up was misogynistic. She also just got married to singer Josh Kelley and sold the pictures to People Magazine for a pretty penny. Congratulations!

Teeth

A girl has teeth in her vagina.

It actually got pretty good reviews, according to Rotten Tomatoes, but I still can’t get my head around that one.

Cassandra’s Dream

Woody Allen does drama again and, like everything else he’s done lately, it’s supposed to be mediocre.

Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell play brothers trapped in Tom Wilkinson’s plot of murder. There’s some sex, drugs and money involved too. With great actors, cinematography by Vilmos Zsigmond and Woody Allen at the helm, I hoped it would get better reviews. “To think that his weak attempt at a morality play represents some return to form, however, is a pipe dream,” said Time Out New York.

Which raises the question: Will Woody Allen ever be great again? That bald spot says he might not be making films much longer. My advice? Go back to making comedies. “Ha ha, that was a terrible comedy” has a much better ring to it than “Ha ha, that was a terrible movie about gambling addiction and jealousy.”

Want to skip the theater? Last Tuesday saw the release of that Jessica Alba and Dane Cook winner (read: not) Good Luck Chuck. What, you want to watch something that isn’t terrible? Season 1 of HBO’s Extras is out too. It won the Golden Globe (that wasn’t actually handed out) for best TV comedy (or musical. What? Not High School Musical 2?) and has awesome guest stars out the wazoo.

That Jessica Simpson movie so terrible even Luke Wilson couldn’t save if from going straight to video? The DVD of Blonde Ambition is being released on the 22nd. Heart be still.