The secrecy and exclusivity of Greek rush leaves outsiders with little facts but many outrageous rumors to tell about what really happens behind closed doors. A popular myth is that one sorority on campus makes girls sit in a coffin as part of its initiation ceremony. Another one hazes by standing underwear-clad rushees on running washing machines so frat boys wielding permanent markers can circle the parts that jiggle. A frat known for its cavalier attitude toward decency once locked pledges in a dark basement; they snapped from light deprivation and begged to be let out. Northwestern students continue to tell these stories yearly, even though most have never been confirmed.

The independents (as in, non-Greeks) on campus have an arsenal of scandalous rumors to spread about fraternities and sororities. The tales portray Greeks as cultish, attention-whoring, stuck-in-high-school brats. Greeks dismiss the attacks as envy. While Northwestern can stand united against state schools and for human sexuality, we’re supposedly a campus divided along our social seams.

At least that’s the belief of those who have never ventured so much as a “hello” to someone of opposing loyalty and have gotten their Greek stereotypes from the (admittedly quality) television show Greek. In reality, the relationship between Northwestern’s unaffiliated majority and the 38 percent Greek minority is more the friendly tiff à la Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and less the bloody battle raging between Huckabee and science.

Day to day, the two sides seem to interact with minimal bloodshed. Consider this anonymous Northwestern blogger who commented on the kindness of a Pi Phi at the gym. From my own non-Greek – and honestly, infrequent – forays into Greek events, I’ve learned that most Greeks don’t have an easily identifying tattoo. That Greeks live in dorms with non-Greeks makes turf wars even harder to wage. And though one can spot many letters in class, it’s possible the wearer is communicating a shortage of clean laundry rather than some all-consuming Greek pride.

Yet the undertone of resentment persists. The Daily’s Forum page editors could have promising futures as reality television producers with their consistent picks of polarizing columnists: the Greek system gets a 500-word put-down at least once a quarter. The requisite “Don’t hate us” Greek response letter is usually filled with its own vitriol, attacking the author, but also Greek detractors in general. Armed with rightful indignation and space to fill in The Daily, we’ve made our own campus Finkelsteins and Dershowitzs.

But we can’t even do the fighting thing well, relying more on rhetoric than action. “Sorority girl” is a general-purpose insult; consider its use on the blog Overheard at Northwestern. And kudos to the guy (indulge me in assuming it wasn’t one of the fairer sex slandering her own kind) who packaged stupid, morally loose, and fabulous into the punchy “sorostitute.” I searched out vehement Greek detractors on campus, hoping one would admit to outright hating all Greeks. Perhaps remembering employers know how to use Google, none materialized. But hiding behind the anonymity of a Northwestern gossip blog, many Northwestern students apparently have no qualms about ranking houses and dealing in malicious gossip and generalizations.*

Perhaps it’s just the game we play. We can’t admit that North or South, engineering or theatre, we’re all the same brand of Northwestern student. As long as we complain about the lack of cohesive campus identity – whether it’s a valid complaint or not – labels help us define our smaller communities. As meaningless as a non-sports fan finds the Cubs and Sox rivalry, so does the non-Greek see the Greek identity. Pretending to hate each other may simply make us feel more comfortable with our own choice to rush or forego. But if Paris and Nicole can share an amicable dinner, then there’s hope for mending our Greek relations.

Clarification: Monday, February 18, 2008 — This sentence was cleaned up for grammar. Thanks to Jasett for the note.