A disturbing phenomenon is sweepin’ the naysh: The ends of words have disappeared. It’s impossible to walk down Sheridan without being bombarded by totes awes! and obvi ridic! So what happened to those limp consonants and severed syllables? Did they go on strike, or just run away, abandoning their word families? Perhaps they convened in a gutter in Skokie, forming a renegade band of homeless suffixes.

Northwestern, please tell me: Where, oh where, have the endings to our words gone?

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