Photo by the author.

So, my morning had been going well, up ‘til now. I decided to go out to get some breakfast. I partook of the most delicious French toast I will ever have in my life. Also, it was the first time I had orange juice in a long time. I rediscovered my love for that drink.

The sun that shone through the window was really warm on my face, and there was a flower set up at my table.

My morning was going really well. I made conversation with the security guards at the building here. I never make conversation with them, even though, as I just found out, they are wonderful people.

Then, I get this picture for this week’s case, Case #3. Totally ruined my morning.

I mean, look at it.

This is probably the most contrived stance I’ve ever seen. This column has been something of a joke around the newsroom, and they probably dug up the most ridiculous picture they could find to send to me.

But, really, do you want to know what this says? First of all, it says that you’re unappreciated. The leftness and rightness of the pointing feet cancel out into a void of nothingness. Case #3 feels nothing for you, even though you’re a pretty stand-up guy.

Or, it’s fake. Completely, one-hundred percent, fake. Case #3 was told to take the most ridiculous stance to see what Mr. Footnotes would do with it.

Send me this ridiculous picture? Snicker behind my back when I stand thinking at the vending machine? Ridicule my father’s love for the superfluous footnotes in various classic works of literature? Fine. I quit.