Stumbling with glory: How to fall on your ass
Click the text to learn more about how to fall correctly on one’s ass.
It was a typical Winter Quarter day. I had successfully navigated my way through a harrowing obstacle course of ice-glazed steps and the revolving doors to Allison dining hall that are actually a small skating rink disguised as an entrance. With much effort, I had managed to contain the floods of salivation that had built up in anticipation of the delicious food I was about to devour.
But as that curmudgeonly lady with a permanent frown swiped my WildCARD, glowing in all its purple growling glory, something went wrong. I had already started to make a beeline for the stir-fry bar when she reached out with my WildCARD, and held my hand back nonchalantly, annoyed that my feast was being delayed. But she didn’t let go of my card. We engaged in a tug-of-war, and then disaster struck.
The tile floor, slick with slush trudged in by hungry students, was too frictionless to withstand my hurried efforts. All of a sudden I was no longer standing above my sullied boots — they were flying rapidly towards the salad bar in a vain attempt at traction. And there I was, in my favorite position: the sprawl. Ten gawky faces turned from their sizzling bamboo slices to stare at me from the stir-fry line.
With this new and enlightening experience under my belt, or at least under my flat-on-the-floor butt, I decided to sketch out a rough guide to falling. Because it happens to everyone — and even when you think no one is watching, someone is probably quietly chuckling at your mishaps. Yes, I am talking to you, wide-eyed boy who tripped down the Norris stairs and sent 80 books and papers sprawling everywhere. Don’t think you got away. But props to your beautiful disaster. You knew how to do it right.
Multimedia production by Alex Campbell.
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After falling on my ass down the stairs of Harris, I feel a deeper appreciation for the art. Thank you Tracy for recognizing the subtle grace and beauty in the fall. And Aaron, you are the most wonderful faller I have ever laid eyes on.
Alicia
February 24, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Bravo that the model was carrying an Arabic book. Well done.
Aubrey Blanche
February 25, 2008 at 12:43 am
This is my favorite NBN article ever! It’s hilarious because it’s TRUE! :)
Lisa
February 25, 2008 at 12:45 am
Yeah, that would be my arabic book. It deserved the beating.
Does it make it a conflict of interest if I was taking pictures of the destruction of my own arabic book?
Lauren
February 25, 2008 at 11:19 am
that fall was beyond epic!
great article, trace :)
Jojo
February 25, 2008 at 4:15 pm