So, Edwin hasn’t shown up—Edwin Footnotes, I mean. I’m Sara Winter, a copy editor. He hasn’t really gotten back to anyone since last week, so I have taken over his column this week while he’s on leave. I’m not really sure how to approach this…Edwin said he was a podiatrist, right? Or something like that? I don’t have his kind of expertise, but I’ll try. I’ll try to be Mr. Footnotes this week.

Here’s Case #4:

Photo by the author.

These are feet. They’re in sneakers, and one of them is propped on a wheeley chair…in our newsroom, I think. I recognize the carpet. I had that same carpet in my last apartment, and it was a pain to keep clean. I’m glad that I don’t have to clean the newsroom. It’s probably all dusty, especially under the table. Anyway.

What do I do now? How about I just describe the picture? Okay.

This person…I mean case…this Case #4 has the right foot on the floor and the left on a chair. The laces look tied, too. What do tied laces mean?

Focus, Sara. The left foot is forward. Case #4 puts the left foot forward, not the right. Both feet have shoes. Both shoes tied.

Wait, can you hold on a second? I have to look through an article for my editor. Plus, I’m kind of hungry for a Snickers.

Okay, I’m back. That wasn’t completely necessary, was it? I mean, you can’t tell that I went away from this column, unless it was a liveblog. Thank goodness there isn’t a Mr. Footnotes liveblog. That would be too stressful for me.

Anyway, while I was eating my Milky Way (I changed my mind at the vending machine), I realized what Case #4 means. Excuse me, let me rephrase that.

As I was thinking over the Milky Way, staring up to the speckles on the ceiling tiles, reminded of the stars that hung in the sky on the night when I realized my calling for foot analysis. “Snickers just does not do,” I said. “Not tonight—I know what Case #4 means.”

The left foot is forward—not the right. Case #4 is a klutz, as the left foot (the same left that appears in the expression “two left feet”) plays a more dominant role in body spatial reality, or BSR. BSR is the governing principle in the manifestation of the pre-conscious (defined by BSR scholars as both the “shadow” personality and the unconscious combined, like swirling caramel and nougat) in bodily orientation in space.

Edwin before me always found complication with his initial impressions, and Case #4 does not diverge from this trend. The complicating factor in this case is the fact that the laces of each shoe are properly tied.

While always being a klutz, Case #4 does a good job in controlling this tendency–in tying it down. There appears to be a neatness and thoroughness in the bows. The chair being used as a support for the left foot is indicative to this, as chairs are very stabilizing structures. I don’t know how Edwin would feel about objects in relation to the feet, but he’s not here, is he? I can do anything I want!

Case #4 is a klutz with control. There. I did it! I guess I am Mr. Footnotes!