What you need to know to live your life today.

What to do

1. Drink to fight AIDS: Footsteps in Hope, a walk-a-thon to raise money for HIV education and healthcare, is having a fundraiser tonight at 1800 Club. It’s not like you wouldn’t be there anyway.
2. Find funnier people: The nStage Rooftop Comedy Showcase is tonight at Tech. Watch NU students battle it out through stand-up comedy in this initial competition round.
3. Learn that your family still isn’t as dysfunctional as it could be: Lovers & Madmen’s production of King Lear opens tonight in Shanley.

What to know

1. Winter quarter may suck, but STIs still suck more: Wrap it up, Northwestern. Genital warts are never sexy. You’re smarter than that.
2. Don’t get kidnapped: Your tuition already went up, don’t cost your parents even more money.
3. Whales are hot right now: Plumb the depths of your classmates’ psyches. Their stick-figure sexual fantasies are just waiting to be revealed.