Write your own sex tips, Mad Libs-style
Feel like you’ve read the same women’s magazine sex tips a dozen times? Ever think that they must have a formula or some kind of machine that spits out article after article with titles like “57 Naughty Things to Do to a Man With Your Hands,” or “141 Ways to Reach Orgasm Faster”? Well, this is my theory of how they come up with their oh-so-innovative sex tips: Mad Libs!
Here’s how to crank out your own generic sex tips. Just grab a friend and a dose of imagination, and you’ll never have to buy an issue of Cosmo again.
Six tips for toe-curling, ______________ (cliché adjective) sex!
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Genius. Mad, wonderful genius. :D
John Parton
March 5, 2008 at 11:08 am
genius
El Luchador
March 5, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Love it. More like this. So fun to do in the middle of class. Keep it up NBN.
Lindsey
April 23, 2008 at 4:30 pm
this sucked hard.
micheal
July 21, 2008 at 1:44 am
fsd
killer jsu
October 22, 2008 at 2:02 am
awesome
john
November 25, 2008 at 8:52 pm
This made my honey go wild!!
Jillian
November 28, 2008 at 10:30 pm
This was whack, yo! Good thinkin’!
Ruth Johns
February 24, 2009 at 10:04 pm
fdbd
ddd
February 27, 2009 at 11:34 pm
its been a while since ive done one. but i think it needs to constantly make sence. it was good but not the best ive seen.
spc brian wiegand
March 10, 2009 at 12:47 am
#1) Get out a toy train
Bring out the inner child in you with this crazy whoo hoo adventure. Lie on the floor and have your guy play the toy train all over your breasts. You’ll both have a mind-blowing experience like never before. Just make sure little Timmy never knows where his toy train went while he was soundly sleeping.
#2) massage him into a frenzy
Have your guy lay on his back and gently stroke his penis, which will increase his blood flow, leading to an erection that’s more erotic. When done correctly, he’ll be begging you to stop! (If done incorrectly, he’ll probably also be begging you to stop, but it will also lead to permanent damage. Avoid this.)
#3) Exhilarate smooth erogenous zones
When engaging on your sexual adventure, don’t just work at the privates. Take the time to push each other’s hot spots. Make sure to give attention to his thighs, neck and scalp. The best way to stimulate these erogenous zones is by using a spoon.
#4) Use family jewels to hotspot his family jewels
When in the sack, try using your pearl necklace for more than just pleasing your man aesthetically. Slowly take it off and smooth it all over your man’s nipples . Even more swanky is if you let him see you shake the jewellery earlier in the day.
#5 Stretch his wildest dreams
During manual stimulation, easily try this grasp technique. Wrap your fingers around his cobra. Then rub quickly, occasionally twisting in opposite directions. His whole body will echo in pleasure — that is, unless you shove too hard. Then his whole body will probably end up in the hospital.
#6) What a tasty deal
Food has long been welcome in the kitchen as a preferred means of sexual stimulation. It’s time to step up from the run-of-the-mill whipped cream, chocolate sauce and caramel. Next time you’re at your favourite bakery, pick up a chocolate cake. During your bootie call, use your chosen baked good to arouse your playmate. Gently lick your man with the pastry and watch the heat turn way up. The crumbs, stickiness and eventual ant problem just make it sexier.
Either I have a dirty mind, or I was born to write tips XD
Shawna
March 27, 2009 at 9:51 pm