The second blocked, dubbed “Pirates, Punks and Playas,” serves up the most intriguing musical theme of the night - remixes and mash-ups. This three-hour run stands as the most wide-open, the one time a DJ could pull out anything with “remix” slapped across the cover and play it. During this non-nautical (I pray) pirate block, you’d probably get the highest amount of, cough, good music played over DM’s mammoth run-time. There are so many remixes and mash-ups, finding the best tracks is no easy task.

This block comes with a catch, at least in my rulebook - a remix isn’t separate from the original track being edited. So, if we find a remix of Kanye’s “Good Life,” we can’t use it, becasue we played that song last block. So, one or the other, can’t double dip into a song. Also, no “techno” remixes of songs. Those suck.

Onto the mixes and mashes.

Showstoppers

1. “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne and Lil’ Mama

If you’ve never heard this….brace yourself for pure awesome. By its lonesome, Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” would kill in the “guilty pleasure” block, or even in the final three-hours. But two reasons that can’t be. First off, lots of people hate that track, for good reason. Second…this remix featuring Lil’ Mama destroys the original. Basically, this version keeps the best part of the original (Avril’s irresistible chorus), ditches the bad part (Avril’s putrid verses) and replaces them with Mama’s excellent rhymes. This is like Cotton Candy dipped in honey and rolled in Fun Dip.

2. “Stronger” by Kanye West (and sorta Daft Punk)

Not technically a mash-up, but basically Kanye rapping over a slowed down Daft Punk track. The majority of the remix/mash-up set could indulge a bit, throwing out a lot of seldom heard songs to the audience, but you need to chuck in a couple blockbusters like this one. And besides, there are plenty of other Daft Punk songs to play later on.

3. “Act a Fool” by Flosstradamus

You know that song they always play at sporting events? “Zombie Nation,” the one with the weird chanting? Throw a random Lil’ John track on top of it, and you got an awesome mash going.

4. “Walk this Way” by Run DMC and Aerosmith

The first mash-up ever? I don’t know for sure, but it’s definitely one of the greatest, and should appear.

5. Final Song: “Ignition (Remix)” by R. Kelly

No other way you could end this block. Nobody even remembers the original “Ignition,” and nobody cares, because this version is just so good. Listen to that funky beat! That soggy bass! R. Kelly’s “toot-toot, beep-beep!” Maybe the greatest remix ever, and definitely the reason R. Kelly isn’t in jail right now.

Avoid at all Costs

1. Girl Talk mash-ups

I have a suspicion that this block came to be because of Girl Talk’s immense popularity - no other mash-up artist has pushed the genre into the mainstream as much as he has. I love Girl Talk, I really do, but his music just doesn’t work at Dance Marathon. He crams way to many samples into each of his songs and, part of Girl Talk’s charm, is how his mixes flow into one another. Just dropping a random track off Night Ripper would just sound strange, not to mention totally wipe out a whole bunch of songs at once.

2. “Numb/Encore” by Jay-Z and Linkin Park

Anytime MTV creats a “collision course” between two artists, you know the end product is going to suck. Now, make Linkin Park one of artists involved. Just hearing Jigga’s voice backing up Chester Benington’s bitching stings a little, and almost makes me want to listen to Hybrid Theory so someone can understand me.

A Few Other Songs To Include With No Reason

- “Throw Some D’s (Remix)” by Rich Boy featuring Andre 3000, Lil’ John, Nelly and Jim Jones
- “Go Crazy (Remix)” by Young Jeezy featuring Jay-Z and Fat Joe
- “A Stroke of Genie-Us” by Freelance Hellraiser
- “Rehab (Hot Chip Remix)” by Amy Winehouse

Indie Songs That Would Work But Will Never Be Played

-Everything The Hood Internet has ever done.

Great Videos To Show

-”Hounds of Love” by The Futureheads - Not technically a mix or a mash-up, this cover seems like such a radical departure, though, I have to include it. Plus, the video has so many dogs! People love puppies.

-”Us Placers” by CRS - Ignore the titles here. This is a remix of Thom Yorke’s “The Eraser” featuring Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell rapping over ghostly piano. A more chill track among all these dancey-remixes. Video wise, we get lil’ versions of everyone. Almsot as cute as those puppies.

- “I’m in Love with a Stripper (Remix)” by T-Pain featuring a whole bunch of folk - Just watch, and tell me you wouldn’t be mesmerized by this. Especially R. Kelly popping up midway through. Here is your comedic relief for the block.