Thirty young women were killed Monday night when a record number of horses rushed the Delta Delta Delta sorority house, according to an Evanston police report.

Sorority rush ended on April 1 when 441 women were offered bids to join one of 12 chapters on campus. There were no records of any ponies, mares or fillies rushing or receiving bids, a spokesperson for the Panhellenic Council said in a press conference following the incident.

The police report was unclear on what caused the horses to rush Tridelt. A statement released this afternoon by Tridelt’s national headquarters expressed its own brand of shock.

“Oh, this is a tragedy all right,” the release said, “but I’m not surprised this happened at Delta Delta Delta. We’re an upstanding female fraternity. I mean, do you really think any horse in its right mind would have rushed any other sorority?”

Outraged parents have begun a phone call barrage against the university, while Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn has begun his own investigation on “HorseGate.”

“What caused this kind of aggression?” his first column asked. “We may never know. But in and of itself, this may be the finest example, in our time, of animal cruelty.”

Not a single sister of Tridelt was injured. “The horses made a concerted effort to leave no injured people behind,” a police spokesman said. “The horses must have thought, ‘What good is a girl with a broken leg?’”

A candlelight vigil will be held Wednesday night at the Rock at 10 p.m. Mourners are asked to not actually light their candles, as this may incite more horses to attack.