From pointy punk looks in the late ’70s to Gucci handcuffs in the mid-’90s, clothing with an element of danger isn’t anything new to the fashion world. But after a tragic train accident involving Ugg boots last March, it seems that threatening threads have escalated to murderous proportions. So how else can we get harmed in unusual fashions? Let us count the ways:

1. It’s in the Bag: According to the American Chiropractic Association, women shouldn’t carry around more than 10% of their body weight in their bags—a hard pill to swallow for women who are willing to throw their back out for the chicness of a Muse purse. The rise of Marc’s Stam bag, Chloé’s Paddington, and most recently D&G’s oversized patent tote (which measures in at 19.75″x21.5″x8.5″) are recipes for misalignment, availing their carriers room for laptops, books and magazines on top of the standard supply of makeup, cash and personal electronics. Trendsetters should avoid these bags given their status not only as back breakers, but as bank breakers too.

2. Pass the Smell Test: Makeup giant Elizabeth Arden may have some reformulating to do on its surprisingly dangerous Red Door perfume. According to Jezebel, a woman was robbed by a man who she found lying in the street. Using the next best thing to Mace, the woman doused him with Red Door. The perfume was noxious enough to send him running. Word to the wise: In areas where pepper spray is illegal and there’s no department store counter in sight, Axe body spray may have the same effect.

3. Tough as Old Boots: Dominico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana’s D&G line featured sharp boots in their punk-inspired spring 2006 collection. These lethal kicks keep with D&G’s theme of pain — their signature corset dress pays homage to the very symbol of oppressive fashion. It figures that Dolce & Gabbana would arm its customers with these studded boots: they’ll need something to help them fend off the entranced men who can’t resist a girl clothed in the Italian label’s garb. Backstage at the show, model Lily Donaldson, who walked in the boots on the runway, showed off her sadistic side.

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4. On the Loose: Thankfully, UFO pants have gone somewhat out of style. From concealing weapons to the occasional escalator mishap, oversized pants have come under fire by some schools concerned about safety. According to city officials in Dallas, baggy pants are a serious enough threat to launch a billboard campaign against the anti-fashion. But don’t be so quick to disregard: remember the near fate of the hero in that remake of The Hills Have Eyes? He was almost gobbled up after tripping over his baggy britches.

5. Dig in Your Heels: After a rash of shoe-induced injuries in Britain last summer, well-heeled women everywhere can rest easy knowing that stilettos really live up to their namesake. In one case, a Glasgow prostitute broke the facial bones of a 70-year-old man after she jumped on him with her heels. In another case, a newly married couple’s first fight turned ugly when the bride hit her new husband over the head with her shoe. The groom sought out help while holding a bloody towel to his head. However, fashion felonies aren’t just limited to Britain. Last June, a fight between two gay and lesbian gangs from Maryland turned ridiculous (but fitting) when someone whipped out a stiletto. But these pump pummelings don’t come without consequence. When the other shoe dropped, one attacker was sentenced to six years in jail.

From badly bent bag ladies to a groom under his wife’s heel, these fashion victims don’t take the destructive quality of clothes lightly. But as D&G reminds us: they can forget comfort—people are still willing to suffer for fashion.