Clinton had people vote for her campaign song. Obama has a song Will.i.am. wrote for him. McCain had “Our Country” until John Mellencamp asked him to stop using it. We think we can do better. So with the Pennsylvania primary coming up, we look back on the campaign songs that could’ve been for our beloved presidential hopefuls.

Hillary Clinton

“Bossy” - Kelis

You already know. She’s “the one y’all love to hate.” But hey, Hillary supporters will tell you, she’s stuck it out this far so somebody has to like her. Hill, brush your shoulders off when people say you’re unlikable. Just follow Kelis when she says, “You don’t have to love me, you don’t even have to like me. But you will respect me. You know why? Cause I’m a boss!”

Destiny’s Child - Survivor

Hillary faced the nation as a woman famous for being cheated on and asked for the presidency. Monica Lewinsky? Please. Clinton’s better than that. Instead of backing down, she said, “I’m a survivor, I’m not going to give up, I’m not going to stop, I’m going to work harder.” Well, maybe not quite that, but it was probably close.

“The Underdog” - Spoon

Clinton ought to listen to this song a few times to realize what’s gone wrong with her campaign. She did everything one is supposed to do to be elected president, but she never listened to Spoon’s advice and prepared for the rise of Obama: Hillary, “you’ve got no fear of the underdog, that’s why you will not survive.”

Barack Obama

“I’m Just a Bill” - Schoolhouse Rock

The main complaint about Barack Obama is his “lack of experience” as a politician. Without even a full term as U.S. Senator yet, Obama is going to need some help with the political process if he’s elected. Some Schoolhouse Rock couldn’t hurt.

“Changes” - David Bowie

This song is what the Barack Obama campaign is all about. All fluff and one sweet, sweet word: “change.” After eight long years of the Bush presidency, America is ready for some “Cha-cha-changes.” Even if no one is really sure what those changes are.

“I’m Too Sexy” - Right Said Fred

For many people, this song will need no explanation. Obama is the golden god of modern politics, with women all over America fawning all over him. And, he is famously “too sexy for his shirt.” Yeah Obama, we know you’re “too sexy for this song,” but are you also too sexy for the Oval Office?

John McCain

“Touch of Grey” - The Grateful Dead

McCain is old. So old that when McCain was born, FDR was still president. Forget “touch of grey,” this is a whole heaping handful of grey. But that’s okay, because with the two Democratic candidates ripping each other to shreds, McCain can sit back and sing “I will survive” along with fellow skeletons The Grateful Dead and know that it’s true.