Golly gosh journal, I think we hit it big! People love our album, and I keep hearing people on the streets humming “Buddy Holly.” Jeepers, I never knew a bunch of young dudes like us could become so famous… just check out our earnest album art! We look like we just hit puberty, and that blue background sure is swell. A simple backdrop for simply great pop-rock… I like that, I’ll remember it!

Wooooo, this is nerve wracking, journal. We just released our second album and… well, I should be nervous about people not liking us, but, honestly, I know folks will dig these songs. Journal, I’m really scared people are going to pick up on how personal this thing is. I mean… just look at the cover art. Sure, it just looks like a Japanese village in the snow, but if people really think about it, they’ll figure out a lot about me, like what type of girls I like. This art is so personal… I’m just scared people will judge me about it. And I hope they don’t think I’m too creepy for “Across the Sea….”

Ahhhhh, it has been a long time, journal. I sort of lost it after that last Weezer album… so whiny, so emo! Why would anyone want to hear about my personal dilemmas and struggles? No more! I went to Harvard, for God’s sake, I know what people want. They want more songs like everything on our debut. But more rock, more hardcore. Like… a song about a hash pipe! I’m so smart, I decided the art for this release should be just like our debut… just us in front of a colored backdrop. But now it’s green, the same color as Mountain Dew, the most extreme beverage. And I’m holding a guitar, that means we aren’t awkward, we just rock. Man, I’m a genius.

Hey journal, I’ll be frank with you… this album is boring. Just plain beige, no sprinkles in this lo-fat frozen vanilla yogurt. Even the art is boring. Boring cover for a boring album. Yep, that’s all for now.

What’s up, journal? It has been five days since our totally ballin’ album Make Believe came out, and boy do the kids love it! They even let us back on MTV, and we didn’t even need Muppets in our video. Man, “Beverly Hills” is money, dude. I can’t wait to release “We Are All On Drugs” as a single, all those emo kids who don’t know what a Pinkerton is will eat it up. I thought of that — that’s why we are wearing all black on the album cover, in front of a Photoshop background. Actually… this is a big secret, journal… that art captures this album well: Anybody could have made it and the music on the CD. Cha-ching bitches!

Yeeeee-haw journal! I just go back from the chuckwagon after rustling up some grub, and decided to get off my horse to write about our new album. I reckoned the last few picture doodles we branded on our CDs weren’t what all my pardners wanted… so I drank me a gallon of whiskey and said, “Lets just do what we already did!” And now gander at it… I’m a cowpoke! Hooooo weeeee, I like this new look. Lord knows what this buckin’ bronco of an album is gonna sound like… this is so random it makes a cattle drive look organized. Well, I’m gonna hit the dusty trail, but check out this spur-spinnin’ new album, comin’ soon!