People magazine is reporting that Lindsay Lohan has been seen partying around the lonely island of Manhattan this past weekend, staying out till 4 a.m. sucking down Red Bull and vodka.

Lindsay! What are you doing? Did three stints in rehab (in one year) teach you nothing? Studios don’t want to touch you, and since you’ve already been on the cover of every magazine in publication in the past four months, your options are running out.

According to IMDB, the only real movie you have on your agenda is “Ye Olde Times.” We all know what this means: you’ll will be resigned to wearing corseted gowns and making out with Jack Black. As hot as that sounds, it will not get you the Oscar your heart has been desiring.

I’m pretty sure your only options at this point are more semi-naked Marilyn Monroe photo shoots for New York Magazine or another comedic lead in a female-friendly comedy (I would choose the latter, but what do I know.) Remember “Mean Girls?” Just keep doing that stuff; you’re really good at it. And after all, Kate Hudson is turning 30 next year, so you should start primping yourself for “Fools Gold 2.”