If the droves of cute high schoolers wandering around campus last week didn’t tip you off, hopefully the droves of “prospie” articles on this Web site did: It’s decision time for Northwestern admits. By May 1, all those kids our admissions office decided were good enough to wear purple will have to declare whether or not purple is good enough for them. They’ve heard all the banal, brochure-ready arguments for and against Northwestern (We’re close to the Lake! We’re smart! But we’re not that smart! Oh, and it costs a lot!). To help with the last-minute pro/con weighing, we’ve laid out some of Northwestern’s lesser-known strengths and weaknesses below — in song form.

Midterms and Drop Dates: Practically Synonymous Since 1851

The Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

Like any top-tier university, Northwestern has got some tough classes. For those times when the workload is too great (or you want to spend more time outside that quarter), there’s Northwestern’s gloriously generous add/drop period. Usually, you can go almost halfway through a quarter and still be able to drop a class; so, if you bomb a midterm, just delete the class from your schedule (hail CAESAR!). Some quarters, you’ll be wondering “Should I stay or should I go” before your first discussion section — once you’ve had a quarter with no class on Friday, it’s hard to go back.

If the Grammar Police had a grammar jail, would anyone post bail?

Vampire Weekend, “Oxford Comma”

“Who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?” asks Ezra Koenig in the Columbia University grad’s anti-intellectual-uptightness anthem. The answer: way too many Northwestern students (and professors). Vampire Weekend probably encountered plenty of grammar nazis in the Ivy League, but NU’s infamous East Coast envy has sharpened the toolishness of our brightest students. That goes doubly if you spend a lot of time in Fisk or the McCormick Tribune Center; if a Northwestern band had recorded this song, it’d probably be called “Medill F.”

We’re pro-choice (at least when it comes to stir-fry)

Beastie Boys, “So What’cha Want?”

A lot of college dining halls present students with the option of the nightly “special” meat selection or a plate of pasta. At Northwestern, you get the choice of the nightly meat selection, a plate of pasta OR the nightly tofu selection! Sure, by the end of your first quarter, you’ll have tried every topping off the salad bar and every imitation steak and every meat-sauce-rice combo that Stir-Fry Steve can whip up, but still, we’ve got it better than other schools’ students who wish they had to stress over the question that wracks your brain every time you go to eat at Hinman: So what’cha want?

Home Sweet Home, or: Chi-town Poser Syndrome

Kanye West, “Homecoming”

The City of Broad Shoulders is only an El ride away from Northwestern, making it one of the biggest perks to becoming a Wildcat. The catch is that most students take on a persona that mimics Chris Martin in this song: Just as the Brit sings disingenuously about remembering “fireworks over Lake Michigan,” students from Oklahoma will start bragging about how well they know “Belmont” (the correct term is “Lakeview,” kids) and others will say “I’m going home” in reference to the dorm they’ve lived in for two months. Of course, there’s no harm in the fact that most students feel comfortable enough to start repping Chicago, but that’s more likely a symptom of the podunk nature of their hometowns than it is of the cold-but-awesome nature of Chi-town.

Dropping out: the secret to NU success

Animal Collective, “College”

Some of Northwestern’s most famous “alums” actually dropped out of this fine school before graduating. Cindy Crawford, Warren Beatty, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Charlton Heston are all living proof (well, not so much for the latter anymore, R.I.P.) that Animal Collective is on to something with this 53-second vocal exercise. Kids, all this alma-mater stressing is probably unnecessary: “YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE!”