There’s little that most students want to do on Dillo Day besides, obviously, get crunked. But for those students who don’t view getting sloshed on the Lakefill with thousands of our peers as the best day ever — or for those who remember how poorly it went last year — fret not, Northwestern and Chicago are here for you.

Not into porn at Tech? See it at the Museum of Contemporary Art

This weekend marks the opening of the Jeff Koons exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago. Jeff Koons is considered an artist-provocateur. My extensive knowledge of art — provided by one art history survey class — informs me that artist-provocateur means, person-who-makes-things-that-most-people-would-not-consider-art. That said, his takes on popular images often illuminate what we hold important in our culture. And they’re pretty to look at.

The event is special in its depth. According to Tricia VanEck, the curator for the exhibit, “the Jeff Koons show is probably something that you won’t see ever again in Chicago. It is 59 works from his career… 38 years of work. It’s a really fantastic grouping of work that Jeff has personally installed himself. It’s not only seeing works that will never be seen again, but it’s seeing them through the eye of the artist.”

If the whole art thing doesn’t appeal to you, consider this: The MCA Web site says, “This exhibition contains some sexually explicit material. We strongly advise you to preview this exhibition before visiting with children.” The explicit material referenced is his “Made in Heaven” series, which shows Koons and his now ex wife, and former porn star, consummating their love. That’s the kind of art Northwestern students can appreciate on Dillo Day.

Don’t want to do Dillo Day? Do Division instead

The Do Division Festival is a two-day street festival and sidewalk sale being held by the West Town Chamber of Commerce. If you miss Ted Leo at Dillo Day, you can catch him here on Sunday. And with Mucca Pazza and Lucero headlining on Saturday, it might be worth it to skip Dillo Day.

According to Kara Salgado, the executive director of the West Town Chamber of Commerce, “The major appeal [of the Do Division fest] is that it’s a really local event. The Empty Bottle did the booking for the music. The event really reflects the neighborhood.” What neighborhood is that? Nothing less than the uber-hipster Wicker Park. So grab your ironic t-shirts, and head over for an “okay” time.

Not hipster enough for you? Check out the Breeders at the Metro

Capping off a fantastic day for concerts in Chicago, Kim Deal’s post-Pixies band the Breeders will headline a show with The Montana Boys at the Metro. Tickets are a steep $23, but since you’re not likely to catch the Pixies anytime soon, it’s worth it to shell out the money.

Don’t want to take the El anywhere? Stay on campus

One of the many benefits of attending a fine, prestigious university such as Northwestern is that there are always fine, prestigious things to do, even on a day that’s mostly about drinking. If classical music is more your style, Northwestern University Symphony Orchestra, or NUSO, will be performing “The Requiem” by Giuseppe Verdi at 7:30 p.m.

If you’d rather skip music altogether, TI will be showing two MFA directors’ projects this weekend, Amadeus and In a Dark Dark House. While they are technically student projects, this is Northwestern, so they’re sure to be good. And if they’re not, no loss, because both shows are free.