If ever there was a question as to whether or not Dr. House is certifiably, 100% nuts, there is no longer. This week’s episode proves to loyal viewers that the character they adore is a whack job.

Spoiler Alert: Do not read past this unless you want the episode ruined. And why would you?

The show starts on the set of House’s favorite soap opera, a terrible hospital drama starring Dr. Brock Sterling, who is played by guest star Jason Lewis. Brock exits the set and gets into his limo. Unfortunately for him, House is the driver. He promptly kidnaps Dr. Brock and takes him to the hospital, claiming that he has a speech delay on the show that signifies he has a brain tumor.

Dr. House. Photo courtesy of Fox
Broadcasting Corporation.

House illegally pulls into the ambulance bay directly in front of Cuddy and the inspector who is checking out the hospital prior to the renewal of its certification. Since the inspector will be there for the whole week, Cuddy puts Cameron, Chase, and Foreman on “House watch” in an effort to keep her job. If only I could be so lucky. These three don’t view this as a reward so much as a punishment, and they are incapable of keeping House from doing things such as drugging the patient and forcing tests on him.

When House isn’t violating every one of Dr. Brock’s privacy rights, he’s insulting Wilson. Most of these insults center around Amber and Wilson’s need for a new mattress, and Wilson’s subsequent emasculation and confusion from attempting to negotiate with Amber. Oh women, they’re so wacky. Sometimes they say what they really mean.

House becomes convinced that Dr. Brock has B6 toxicity from the sunflowers he’s been eating. Since this would make Dr. Brock incapable of an erection, they give him some porn as a test. He has a heart attack. It must have been good porn. Then he slips into a coma. Bad porn.

So, it’s not toxicity. Maybe it’s an allergy. House tries to find out by overdosing Dr. Brock on steroids. If it’s an allergy, he’ll live. If it’s not, they’ll have to cancel that soap opera. Turns out it works, but no one knows why until House watches the soap opera. Dr. Brock has started knocking back a few too many gin and tonics on the show, which is fine when the alcohol is fake, but bad when the actor is allergic to tonic water. Patient saved, Cuddy’s job saved, Wilson’s masculinity saved. Fin.

Quote of the episode: “We’ve got to find a decent set of knockers around here.” Dr. House, in an attempt to test Dr. Brock for B6 toxicity.