David Archuleta blew the competition away on Rock and Roll Hall of Fame night. Photo courtesy of AmericanIdol.com.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame time! Let the debauchery begin!

Did Idol seriously honor Ike Turner? For serious? Seriously?

Paula looked beautiful. Oh, wow. I used beautiful in connection with Paula. Weird.

SPOILERS!

First round action:

David Cook- He sang “Hungry Like A Wolf”. You all know how I feel about David Cook. He looked fashionable. The singing wasn’t that great, though. I wish I could believe that he indeed is hungry like a wolf, but I’m more feeling like he’s hungry like a porcupine. Randy’s got some girly man bracelets on again. And he wants mad hot vocals. Which he didn’t get. Paula liked it. Simon thought it was good, but a bit of a copycat performance.

Syesha- She sang “Proud Mary”. I love the gold dress and the seductive dancing. She does it with a smile and makes it so cutesy. I don’t know about the turns, though. She either didn’t commit enough or she just came across as silly looking. I was kind of distracted by all the showiness of the performance, so I’m not sure if she sang all that well. I think she did. Randy thought she was in the zone. Paula thinks she showed up and looks like a star. Simon thought it was a bad, shrieky version of Tina Turner. And he didn’t have fun. I don’t if he ever does, but he made it clear that this wasn’t one of those times.

Jason Castro- He butchered “I Shot the Sheriff”. I liked it up until about midway through the chorus. Then it started to go south. Like Antarctica south. He looked so smug and pleased. But he shouldn’t be. Randy thought it was really karaoke. Paula didn’t like it, but she won’t be honest enough to say it. Simon obviously hated it and advised Jason not to do Bob Marley.

David Archuleta- He sang “Stand By Me” It’s good. I like the Lion King colors. If only you were someone else, I would stand by you. The high note was even good. Randy thought it was hot and that he brought the “hot, mad vocals”. Paula liked it. She took too long to say it, but she liked it. Simon was critical, but thought it was the best so far.

Second round:

David Cook- He sang “Baba O’Riley”. I appreciate the girl in the crowd who said “eww” to the liver comment. I liked this one a lot better. It was good. Randy liked it, Paula wants more (she’s so hungry) and she appreciates his soul, and Simon welcomed him back. This is the David they like.

Syesha- “A Change is Going to Come”. Did she seriously just compare the Civil Rights Movement to a “pivotal” time in her life, a.k.a. a show called Idol? Not a good idea. At least she looks good in the gold gown. The singing is a little off. I wanted her to crack during the song and start crying. She always smiles when she’s supposed to be emotional. Except that she didn‘t smile, but she didn‘t crack either. Randy did not like this one as much. He didn’t like the arrangement. He was right about it being disconnected. Paula clapped and told Syesha that she wanted to hug her. She liked it. Syesha started crying, but I don’t know if that’s because Paula was nice to her or that Randy hated. Simon agreed with Paula and he loved it. This part just went on and on with Randy apologizing for his comments (though not taking them back) and Syesha assuring him it‘s okay. It’s okay Randy. No, really, it’s okay. No, believe me. I’m me and sweet and nice, so it’s okay. All right, screw this.

Jason- He sang “Mr. Tambourine Man”. He forgot the words and did the most obvious humming to “cover it up”. It sounded like the Cookie Monster growling over the guitar melody. He forgot so many words, that it completely took me out of it. I can’t tell if he did a good job. Seriously, he should be voted off the island. There should be a tap-dancing man with a broom like on Apollo to sweep people off the stage. Randy and Paula didn’t like it. Simon told him to pack his suitcase. That was inexcusable for the top 4. He should just remove himself from the competition, if he had a shred of dignity. Except he’s probably to high to understand such an abstract concept.

David- He sang “Love Me Tender”. He’s singing all romantically. You’re too young to be loved sweetly and tenderly. The singing isn’t bad, but I’m grossed out. This makes pedophiles everywhere more comfortable with themselves. Apparently Randy, Paula, and Simon want to love him tenderly. Simon said he crushed the competition. Grudgingly, I agree.

Favorite Quotes
“Well I think your ‘Hungry Like a Wolf’ has blessed me with a big appetite.”- Paula
“That was honestly a first round audition massacre.”-Simon
“I loved how you were so tender and caressed each word.”-Randy
“I was like ‘Bob Marley’!”- Jason
“The truth is David, you could of whistled the song and it would have sounded better than the last song. You were very well placed.”-Simon

Well, good day until Idol cuts it down to a trio. Tootles!