Sharaun poses to make Homeland Security look sexy. Photo courtesy of The CW.

Welcome to America’s Next Top Model Cycle 11! In the two-hour season premiere, Tyra & Co. — or should I say Tyrabot, Alpha Jay and Beta J — kicked off Cycle 11 with a fashion forward attitude of the future. The Js were sporting gray/white hairdos and silver lab coats in accordance with the future-esque theme, while Tyra donned a waist-high black dress and some metallic makeup that made fierce look out-of-this-world. Literally.

SPOILER ALERT!

Part 1

Only 30 lucky girls got the chance to see firsthand the new Top Model Institute of Technology equipped with a data-analyzing runway, full-length body scanners, finger print ID… and the Glaminator 11.0? But just when we thought Tyra had outdone herself, she makes her robotic debut, leaving many of the girls thinking they must have been accidentally cast in the sequel to The Stepford Wives.

In Part 1 of the premiere, Tyra and the Js met with each girl to learn a little bit more about their background. There were a number of girls that stood out for me. Most obvious was Isis, ANTM’s first real tranny! And this girl is not a hot mess either, she knows her stuff and I think she’s got the right tranny tricks up her sleeve to make it far in this competition. Work it sista!…errm, brotha!

And how can we forget Hannah? Did you know that she is from Alaska? Yeah, she grew up without electricity and running water and braved -50 degree weather without a heater! By the way, she’s from Alaska. Did I mention she’s from Alaska? WE GET IT HANNAH! Alaska has no people, dog sledding is the preferred method of transportation and you were raised by caribou and elk! I fear Ms. Little House on the Glacier might not have the social aptitude to stand up to big personalities we’ve seen ANTM house in the past.

Amongst other standout personalities was Analeigh, who said she was nearly recruited by a Saudi Arabian modeling agency, only to find out later they wanted her to be someone’s wife. C’mon Analeigh, a Saudi Arabian modeling agency? Or… the Saudi Arabian clitoris trade… just saying, she should’ve known.

Photo Shoot 1
In the first photo shoot, the girls suited up into black and blue lycra-like bodysuits and struck their fiercest poses with the help of large silver bouncy balls as props.

But in the end it came down to which girls were most technologically bankable, and out of 30 ferocious females there was only room for the top fierce fourteen 14.

Part 2

Not long after the girls got a peek at the top model house, a lavishly decked-out heel-stomping paradise with an outdoor pool, phone booth, in-door runway and model museum of the good, the bad and the downright ugly, drama started to unfold in Transylvania. Some of the girls couldn’t put up with Isis still being biologically male and felt she had no place in this competition. If you ask me, it’s just penis envy…

Next the girls were whisked off to the Magic Castle, the world’s most famous private club for magicians, where they were magically greeted by the judges: Paulina Porizkova, Jay Manuel, J. Alexander and the (sexy) noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker.

The judges met one-on-one with each girl to evaluate them individually, an important factor that would play a role in the later elimination. Isis showed some promising potential and impressed Nigel with her modeling savvy, while many of the other girls struggled to name designers/photographers and some let their nerves get the best of them. Sharaun, however, confidently introduced herself as THE America’s Next Top Model, but the judges found it cocky and arrogant.

Photo shoot 2

Theme: Convince the younger generation that voting is sexy.

Marjorie, our international model from France took on immigration. Being an immigrant herself, she rocked the shoot and made border crossing look sexier than ever. I hope this doesn’t send the wrong message to people in other countries though because it is NOT fierce to use the family dinner table as a raft from Cuba to Miami.

Brittney R. electrified the set as she brought sexy back to the Military. The only two important American values here: patriotism and ferocity ;)

McKey showed off her cage fighting moves in a show-down with the environment and Elina smiled with her eyes and kept peace at bay, making foreign policy a fierce issue.

Isis gave it her all to show privacy matters and she rocked the shoot, proving you can be sexy… whatever parts you have in the “private sector”.

Elimination/Panel

Marjorie is called first and Isis is runner-up.

In the end it came down to Sharaun and Nikeysha. The judges felt like Sharaun lacked substance, especially after her arrogant display of confidence during the individual evaluation. On the other hand, Nikeysha had a hard time taking criticism from the judges during her photo evaluation and the judges felt like she was full of excuses. So who goes home?

And oh how irony bites: Sharaun — the already self-delcared “Top Model — gets sent packing.

Stay tuned to see what else Tyra has in store for Cycle 11 because this season will be fiercer, trannier and more deliciously exciting than ever!