Roll over the possibilities to see your chances of ending up in the situation.

Good news, Northwestern: You have a better chance of never getting married than getting AIDS. But don’t take that as any indication that life as a permanent bachelor(ette) will keep you completely safe. In fact, you are more likely to get herpes than play the field into your golden years. But hey, it’s all a matter of perspective. You may turn into a lonely old man/woman with sores on your genitalia, but at least you’ll have a home (probably)!

We’ve gathered up some statistics on your behalf to inform you of your chances of finding yourself in a certain number of interesting situations. Of course, all of this information is purely statistical, and numbers only say so much. If you’re a guy, at this point in time your chances of getting pregnant are zero percent, but the application of these numbers extends beyond that. For instance, you can greatly reduce your chances of getting HIV, herpes, or chlamydia by wrapping your package like it’s Christmas. While addiction and mental illness can both be contributing factors to homelessness, chances are that since you’re a student at Northwestern, you’ll never be confronted with the kind of poverty that could render you unable to pay rent. And finally, only you can decide whether or not you’ll drop out of school.

With all that said, take one more thing into consideration: several of these statistics are approximations. It’s hard to tell how many people are homeless, especially because some homeless people crash somewhere that isn’t a sidewalk. It’s also difficult to gauge how many people have an STD since there is no saying who will go to get tested. In other words, use your discretion when ogling these pretty, high-tech, incredibly expensive graphics.

Sources: Dropping out, herpes, HIV/AIDS, Chlamydia, pregnancy, valedictorian, not married by 70, married by 24, graduating in 4 years, graduating in 5 years, considering suicide, homeless, addiction, bipolar, depression, schizophrenia.