Alex is abroad in Munich, Germany, until August 2009.

Just when I though that I had escaped the paralyzing awkwardness that plagues many social encounters at NU, and escaped to a land of suave partying, I realized that having a knowledge of the basic partying and subsequent flirting etiquette of a country is fairly important.  Now, you can always pull the “I’m a charmingly uninformed foreigner,” card, but in case you ever find yourself in Germany and want to play the game, I have compiled a list of helpful tidbits for your reference.  Please note that these were painstakingly gathered through a series of heinously awkward run-ins with the German college partying experience.  With no further ado:

1.    Admit you are foreign.  Not only is Europe full of people that don’t originate from your current location, but they are all usually curious about where you come from.  In the student city, where I live in Munich, I have not yet seen a hall where all the residents are from the same country.  At parties, this is an especially good conversation starter, and usually it ends up with them grilling you about American politics.  On that note, when you meet someone new, it is standard operating procedure to see how many languages you have in common, and if it is not the language of the country you are currently in, you will inevitably speak that one.  Most parties are peppered with heated conversations in at least three languages.

2.    Don’t dance the American way.  This is one thing that I have heard is different in other parts of Europe, but in Germany, grinding is not exactly popular.  The American rub on each other as much as possible style of dancing is all but unheard of.   Even in the student club- that is, in the basement of one of the dorms (ridiculous, right? Eat your heart out NU), notorious for having “grabby guys,” – is nothing compared to a night at the Keg, or a Greek formal.  Sometimes it really looks like a scene out of some 90’s sitcom prom:  Everyone is either dancing in a group, or if they are so lucky as to have a partner, the couple is dancing at least 8 inches apart, facing each other, and not touching.  Inevitably the DJ will throw on an American song, and everyone does their best impression of knowing the English lyrics; “Just like a prayer you can take me zer!”

3.    Stay late. One of my biggest pet peeves about the NU party scene is that nothing starts until 12, and then it sometimes doesn’t last past 3.  My troubles have been solved here, as parties usually start around 10 and don’t stop before 4 a.m. That is especially true when you are going out into the city, because between about 2 and 5 a.m. the subway system doesn’t run, so your options are to fork over the cash for a cab, or keep partying until the early morning subway starts running.  One night we all went out with a few Germans, and when a large chunk of the group decided to head home just before 2 a.m., the Germans were shocked because they had another two bars lined up.

4.     Don’t mix up your grammar.  If you are at a party and stumble upon a special someone, and are attempting to tell a story about your male friend, and accidentally say “mein Freund,” this guy might decide to take a hike.  That’s right, in German they make flirting and dating all the more confusing by having the same word for male/female friend, and boy/girlfriend.  The distinguishing factor?  One letter.  If you say “mein,” it means “my,” but “ein,” just means “a.”  Sounds simple enough, but while sipping on a beer, at a loud and smoky party, that important letter gets jumbled and mumbled every time.  Despite at least two years of studying, and two months in Germany, all of us on my program are still struggling with this subtle, yet oh-so-crucial grammatical error.

5.    Text, text, text.  I should say SMS, SMS, SMS.  If you manage to make it through the languages, dancing, late nights, social grammar and actually get a number from someone, don’t expect a call.  I thought that my friends at NU were obsessed with texting- that is, until I made a few German friends, and realized that their lives run on texts.  Unlike in the States, though, their text messages are formulated like little emails, complete with a “Hi [insert name]” at the beginning.  It is a whole new social art form, especially the sign off:  at the end it is always some two to three letter slang acronym that I usually end up looking up on google.  I now know why it was so hard for our parents to keep track of the LOLs, WTFs, and BRBs.  If you really want a texting experience, try using T9 in another language.  Yikes.

Ok so the chances of you being in Germany and needing to use this information are slim to none, but hopefully someone out there will benefit from my (many) social mishaps.

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