I was already deep in a Christmas food coma when my aunt put a gift bag down in front of me. Something about the way she set it down indicated that it was no ordinary present. I perked up and eagerly peeked under the tissue paper.

No, it wasn’t a new puppy, or even a new pony (Does nobody read my Christmas wish list?). It was a simple white tank-top with an American flag etched across the front.

Something about the way I paused and furrowed my brow must have given away my confusion. My family is not exactly the flag-wearing type. It’s more of the flag-burning variety.

My aunt noticed my distress and cleared her throat. “We’re taking the flag back,” she announced to the room. Various family members looked up from the wrapping paper carnage. There was an awkward pause, and then — “It’s about time!”

My family is still getting used to the idea of patriotism. Barack Obama, you know, has given a lot of people Old Glory fever. Even my 91-year-old grandparents, who’ve lived through nearly a century of America’s ups and downs, are enthused. But their newly minted pride raises a question currently being debated in living rooms across America: Is Old Glory cool again? Is the star-spangled banner perhaps even … fashionable?

Photo by drp on Flickr, licensed under Creative Commons.

It’s a question loaded down with the collective weight of what our national symbol represents. Yes, Obama is young, inspirational and has a great “American” story, whatever that means. But is one election enough to wipe out all of the things that have dominated our family dinners for the past eight years — the Iraq War, Guantanamo, Hurricane Katrina — and turn my relatives into hardcore flag-wavers?

My family isn’t the only one grappling with such a dilemma. The liberals of this country collectively snickered at the lapel-pin scandal that broke early in the election. And the amount of red, white and blue that has been used to make a mountain of poor political decisions palatable during the Bush administration is enough to make us feel slightly ill.

I grew up in a part of this country (read: a West Coast, godless city) where the American flag was considered a bit, well, déclassé. It was okay to maybe hang one up somewhere — if it were upside-down, that is. It certainly wasn’t acceptable to stick a large “These colors don’t run!” bumper-sticker on the back of your car, and actually wearing the flag was really grotesque. Unless, of course, you were doing it ironically.

Please understand: I don’t hate this country. In fact, I really do appreciate the ability to publish criticism of the government without risking imprisonment or death. It’s just that I came of age in an era when being an American just a little bit embarrassing. And there was more to it than having a president who thought that “misunderestimate” was a word.

And so, as a result, there is no American flag the size of a tablecloth hanging from the wall in my bedroom. But there is an Italian flag, and an Argentine flag and, come to think of it, a pair of earrings with the South African flag on them. But what political statement am I trying to make? That I wish I were Italian? (Okay, so maybe I do. Think about the pizza, guys.)

Blame it on a college education rife with left-wing propaganda, but sometimes it’s hard to stand behind the history of this country (not that the histories of South Africa, Argentina or Italy are such shining examples, either). The flag has been used to cloak some of our biggest mistakes, from the Spanish-American War to the present-day Patriot Act. And the fact that we fly our colors the highest when we’re scared (about wars, a floundering economy or both) is also a bit off-putting. So call me jaded if you want — and I’m sure that some of you will call me much worse — but this recent wave of patriotism is making me nervous.

Let’s not forget the fact that Obama hasn’t actually done anything yet. That’s a given. But let us also not ignore that all that flag waving is for a man who is the exception to the rule, for an individual who overcame all of the seemingly insurmountable obstacles that this country put in front of him. Americans think they deserve a pat on the back for electing a black man president? Please. We should be asking ourselves what took so long, or acknowledging the fact that his race is only significant in light of our nation’s disturbing history.

November 4th was heady stuff, I know. The rest of the world loves us again. We’ve got change we can believe in. And gosh darn it, this really is the land of opportunity. Go team!

I think I’d find that sentiment more inspiring if I weren’t about to graduate into a job market as barren as the surface of Mars. How’s this instead: If Obama somehow manages to turn the economy around, resolve the Iraq War gracefully, institute real educational reform and do something productive about health care, I’ll actually get excited. Those are some stars and stripes I can really get behind. But until then, the tank top is staying in the back of the closet.