One of the principle gods of the Norse pantheon, Thor sat down with Norse by Norsewestern to reflect on being the god of thunder, having goat-drawn chariots and that time he lost a drinking contest.

What is your current state of mind?

Relaxed. I haven’t really done much the past 1000 years, as I’ve been in semi-retirement. I occasionally play racquetball with Zeus, a co-worker of mine. That keeps me pretty sane.

What is your greatest fear?

Losing Mjöllnir, my hammer.

Which living person do you most admire?

Retired professional wrestler Greg “The Hammer” Valentine.

Which living person do you most despise?

The Midgard Serpent. Oh wait, that’s right, I killed it. So probably the giants, if any are left…

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Having red hair.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Being a giant.

On what occasion do you lie?

Whenever I’m at a bar and chicks ask about my age or the mileage on my Camaro.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My wife Sif and my mistress, the giantess Járnsaxa.

When and where were you happiest?

Whenever I’m riding in my chariot drawn by the goats Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr. I’m happiest then. Totes ma goats.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Maybe something artistic like being able to paint watercolors or play the harpsichord.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d like to be stronger than I already am. You can never be strong enough. I think I share that sentiment with a lot of bodybuilders, but don’t get me wrong, steroids are bad. [Flexes arms] These babies are all natural.

If you were to die and come back as another person or thing, what do you think it would it be?

A ConEdison employee – I think I’d be pretty good at it, considering my background as God of Thunder.

What is your favorite occupation?

I’d probably have to say being a god, but that’s not really a road open to everyone, so maybe carpenter or blacksmith. Basically any job where you get to use a hammer is pretty cool in my book.

Who are your favorite writers?

Definitely not Saxo Grammaticus, who in his 12th century work Gesta Danorum described me as a cunning sorcerer that had fooled the people of Norway, Sweden and Denmark into recognizing me as a god. He sucked.

What are your favorite names?

Helga, Leif and Sigismund.

What is your greatest regret?

The time in a drinking contest when I failed to empty a horn that was filled not with mead but with the whole ocean. I drank so much that it triggered the tidal changes, but ultimately I lost so it was pretty embarrassing at the time.

How would you like to die?

In battle at Ragnarök.

What is your motto?

Live free or die hard.

How did you enjoy taking the Proust Questionnaire?

Who the hell is Proust?