It was supposed to be a romantic evening picnic on the Lakefill for Weinberg junior Tommy Thompson and SESP sophomore Jill Jillstein. But the young couple knew something was awry when the horizon blackened and a fleet of Nordic longships emerged in the distance.

What followed in the subsequent hours was surely the most astonishing series of events in the more than 150-year history of Northwestern University.

An army of Viking invaders swiftly crossed Lake Michigan, easily overpowering the Coast Guard Patrol ships that came to meet them, and disembarked on the Lakefill as horrified students and faculty watched with fascination.

“I thought the Vikings died, like, 1,000 years ago,” said one shocked onlooker.

The invaders arrived so unexpectedly that they encountered little resistance as they flooded university buildings. The Vikings flooded the Allen center, stealing all of the Jolly Ranchers in the basket on the counter in the lobby, according to a displaced Kellogg student who wished to remain anonymous for fear of swift retribution from the Nordic marauders.

The Allen center was not the only target, though. The apparent leader, Erik the Red, went straight for the office of President Henry Bienen, challenging him to a fist-fight for the presidency of the University. The results of the scuffle are still unclear.

Asked why the Vikings chose Northwestern to conquer, Red concisely replied “rooooga booga.” But a prominent Nordic studies expert speculated that the Vikings chose Northwestern for its easy water access, excellent theater program and recent elevation to number 12 in the US News and World Report college rankings.

While the general reaction seemed to be shock and utter surprise, one student claimed he knew this day was coming. The McCormick freshman, co-president of Vikings International, Northwestern chapter, said “it was only a matter of time before Thor struck his mighty hammer once again.”

More to come.