I remember when I first heard Siamese Dream, the 1993 breakthrough album by the Smashing Pumpkins. I didn’t think too much of it at first listen. But now, two years and 735 plays later, the Pumpkins are easily my favorite band.

Correction: were my favorite band.

Over spring break, I found out that drummer Jimmy Chamberlin had announced that he was leaving the band. After 20 years of music, an anniversary tour and a pledge to turn out new and interesting music, the band was gone. This interview, taken slightly before the breakup, features Jimmy explaining how happy he was to be playing with Billy Corgan:

Listen here.

Shortly thereafter, Chamberlin quit the band, citing that he just wasn’t feeling it anymore.

I spent the remainder of the break wandering New York listening to my favorite albums, crying thinking introspectively. I wanted to publish a story, but I couldn’t find the direction I needed.

That all changed last week when the same asshole friend who had alerted me to the breakup brought another news bit to my attention. Pumpkins lead singer/vampire Billy Corgan had decided to deliver the finishing blow to all of his heartbroken fans when he appeared at the Bravo A-list Awards with his new love-interest:

Fatality. Corgan wins.

Ever since, Tila has been all a-twit on her Twitter, writing about Billy like a schoolgirl in the margin of her notebooks. After expressing her “love” @Trent_Reznor, she added: “I hope Billy doesn’t have a Twitter yet” in the hopes, it appears, that he wouldn’t be offended. Tila’s feed has since been cluttered with sweet nothings to an anonymous lover, such as “I feel like running off into the sandy beaches under the moonlit sky and rolling around naked in the sand, whispering sweet nothings to you.” Could this poetry be directed toward Billy Corgan? No need for the visual, Tila. There’s enough painful photography floating around.

Honestly Billy, who wouldn’t be the one you love?

So what?

It’s hard to put the frustration into words and aptly explain why this unholy union is such a big deal to Pumpkins fans. In discussing the premise of this article with people who don’t care for the band, I have encountered nothing but apathy. After playing out child psychologist scenarios in my head, I’ve found that reactions of anger make quite a bit of sense.

You see, Jimmy Chamberlin represented the other half of the Smashing Pumpkins. Billy Corgan always referred to Jimmy as his best friend and “life partner.” Jimmy and Billy were, in a sense, the two fathers of the band and all of its fans collectively. And then, one day, Jimmy said he was going out for cigarettes and never came back.

Now, instead of a legendary drummer, we have Tila Tequila — bad actress, reality series star and soft-core porn star — as a step-mom. Billy has traded away his Siamese Dream for a Singaporean one.

I have never had a stepparent, but I hear you never truly make the adjustment. No matter what Papa Billy says, I don’t think I can let her in. Still, I admit I’m not one to judge the ways of the heart (not that that will stop me), but this relationship has actual significance, mainly on a musical level. This could well be the nail in the coffin for SP. Where will they go from here?

To dust, I guess

This newfound relationship is emblematic of all of the different directions the Pumpkins have taken and proof that they may be beyond the point of no return. It solidifies the fans’ belief that the Pumpkins will never be whole again. New fans will have no hope of experiencing something like this:

Instead, they will have to settle for Jimmy Chamberlin’s jazz fusion:

…or ex-Pumpkin James Iha’s powerpop band Tinted Windows (comprised of Iha, the drummer from Cheap Trick, the bassist from Fountains of Wayne, and Taylor Hanson … from Hanson):

For those of you who are curious as to what Billy’s new music will sound like, here is an ominous warning of things to come:

Excited?

Author’s Note: Dear Billy, I hope this doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends. I hear you hang out in Vintage Vinyl in Evanston a lot. Let me know.