Students entered their sex questions anonymously. Screen shot of northbynorthwestern.com

Whether it’s orgasms, sexual dysfunction or that line between “friends with benefits” and “significant other,” Northwestern students have lots of questions about sex.

According to sex therapist Emily Harrell, a Northwestern graduate school alum, despite Northwestern’s often dismal dating scene (or seeming lack of one at all) there are students somewhere on-campus who want relationships. Harrell presented surprising statistics, helpful tips and expert answers to a group of around 20 Northwestern students on Friday.

Students received a lesson in sexual geography and effective pillow talk as Harrell’s Q&A session rounded off Sex Week 2009 on Friday at the Technological Institute. Attendees were schooled in everything from the secret to finding the G-spot to avoiding awkward mattress mambo conversations. The organizers of Sex Week joined efforts with North by Northwestern to find out students’ top concerns about relationships, intimacy and sexuality, encouraging anonymous submission of students’ most private questions online.

“The entire question and answer session on sex was entertaining and awkward at the same time,” Weinberg sophomore Chelsae Johansen said. “I learned some interesting information, like the extreme extent to which one’s state of mind is important during intercourse.”

Harrell, who works at the Berman Center in Chicago (headquarters of Oprah’s renowned sexologist Dr. Laura Berman) says the most common problems she encounters include are lack of desire in women, orgasm difficulty, pain with intercourse and a need to spice up things up the bedroom.

For those students who chose Friday’s beautiful weather over their own sexual curiosities, or for those who feel more comfortable taking a Chemistry exam in Tech LR2 than learning about chemistry in bed, here’s a condensed version of Harrell’s answers to Northwestern students’ questions:

Q: How early is too early to have sex in a relationship?

Audience responses: “When it feels right,” “After the third date — but people don’t date here anymore,” “Well, it’s hooking up first, and then a relationship,” “It varies.”

While this topic has undoubtedly been beaten to the ground, Harrell revealed some surprising statistics and advised the group to make a few important considerations before going all the way. Though she said the final decision depends on the person you’re going to be intimate with and your comfort level, you should think about your feelings towards the relationship and your expectations and try and make sure your bed buddy has the same expectations. She cautioned students to never assume that the other person is thinking the same thing because it can lead to regret. The number of people who regret their first time, according to Harrell: around 80 percent. She also reminded the group of the risk of attachment as well as the more obvious risks of pregnancy and STIs. “In an ideal world, I think that it would be too early to have sex with somebody if you didn’t know that they didn’t have any STDs or if you weren’t prepared to take the risks to contract it,” she said.

Q: Have there been any studies or research on the idea that if you hook up with someone too soon, they won’t necessarily be interested in continuing the relationship?

Drawing on her clinical experience with patients of different belief systems, values and thoughts, Harrell admits that this situation could go both ways. “If you hook up with a partner who believes that someone who would hook up with him on the first date would be somebody they couldn’t consider a long-term partner, then, yes, you might be jeopardizing that possibility. But then there are definitely instances where the passion is high, the chemistry is high, you feel really connected, and that’s why you’re so ready and eager to be intimate physically, and those relationships can end up in marriage as well, or long-term relationships,” she said. Harrell predicts that as this new approach to getting acquainted with a potential romantic partner continues to become the norm, we’ll be seeing more relationships actually becoming long-term as a result of hook-ups than there used to be.

Q: For once and for all, does the G-spot really exist? What positions maximize your G-spot stimulation?

Harrell confirms that the G-spot does indeed exist, and is located about one to two inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall and up towards the belly button. She explained the “come hither” motion for G-spot stimulation. She warns students not to freak out if they suddenly have the urge to urinate, which is an indication that they might be close to having a G-spot orgasm. Prime positions for achieving G-spot stimulation: woman-on-top, rear entry and the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT).