Let’s be honest, men: A Sex on the Beach tastes delicious. Lacy panties, frilly skirts and that Fleet Foxes album aren’t bad either. Yet it’s unlikely you’ll expose a fondness for them in front of fellow guys. Likewise, in the over-sweetened realm of alcoholic beverages, there is a definite line that men fear to cross. But where exactly do we draw it?

Some rules are fairly obvious. A Strawberry Daiquiri, Appletini, Fuzzy Navel, Slippery Nipple or Champagne Cocktail is never appropriate. Beer, whiskey and just about any variation thereupon always are.

“Whisky on the rocks would probably be the manliest drink I could think of,” says Tom Connors, a bartender at the 1800 Club. “The girliest drink would either be a Cosmo or a Sex on the Beach.”

But following the dawn of the GQ man, why should the dandy-ness of your drink even matter? And as more women enter college and the workforce, facing the ensuing need to get sauced regularly, won’t liquor sexuality become more fluid?

Not really.

“My friend today, who is a man, had a Mai Tai,” recalls Sam Brounstein, a Communication sophomore. “When you’re a man, unless you’re in the Caribbean, you do not you have a Mai Tai.”

In the same way that women will wear jeans but men won’t wear gowns, libation liberation is a one-way street: Women eagerly buy into men’s standards, but men are hesitant to do the reverse. Guys everywhere continue to scorn “girly” drinks – and, increasingly, women do as well. Connors, who has been bartending for five years, says that even though he has seen men order even the girliest of drinks, such occurrences are still pretty rare. On the other hand, he says his female clientele have noticeably become more likely to order whiskey shots, Manhattans or beer.

Of course, part of the reason for this double standard is sex appeal. To many men, a hard-drinkin’ woman seems alluringly like-minded. Brounstein says he has no qualms with a woman who can knock back whiskey without making a face. “It makes me think, ‘Maybe she’s someone who’s more down to earth.’”

To most women, though, a Cosmo-drinking man will just look gay.

One of America’s favorite lesbians, MSNBC pundit and hobbyist mixologist Rachel Maddow, recently appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon to teach the host how to pour drinks. When Fallon mentioned a fondness for gin and tonics, Maddow scoffed. “I think you can drink a more manly drink,” she told him.

Why does Maddow feel qualified to judge what makes a manly drink? Because this attitude embodies her desired appearance: Sophisticated, a little stern and able to hold her own in a male-dominated game. Much like the clothing or magazines we choose, our choice of cocktail is as much about private functionality — getting drunk — as it is about cultivating a public self. It all comes down to the image we want to project.

Or what has more booze in it.