The familiar pounding headache. The parched throat that remains painfully dry despite the fact that you’ve consumed three bottles of water in the space of 15 minutes. The sensation of the remnants of your 4 a.m. Burger King run rising slowly up your esophagus. The resigned acceptance of your complete uselessness for the next four to five hours.

You don’t need a doctor to make a diagnosis: you’ve got yourself a hangover.

What you may not know — beyond the obvious reason — is why you’re hung over. According to Jerrold Leikin, the toxicologist at the NorthShore Evanston Hospital, alcohol slows the pace of the brain. This causes dysphoria, that lovely sensation of dizzy light-headedness that makes you fall off the stage at the Keg. “Alcohol causes an imbalance in neurotransmitters in the brain,” says Leikin. Your body needs time to get back on track, and the homeostatic response causes a hangover. The alcohol literally attacks your body, which is why you feel so terrible the next day. Drinking causes an acid to be released in the stomach and inflames its lining. No wonder you feel nauseous and vomit the following morning.

Tales of the mystical hangover cure seem to have existed since the dawn of time — or at least since the first glass of wine. The Ancient Assyrians mixed ground swallow’s beak with dried tree sap. Native Americans would induce a sweat through some form of exercise and then lick off the perspiration in an attempt to detoxify the body. Today, these so-called “cures” range from pills to coffee to Bloody Marys.

Scientific articles such as “Alcohol Hangover: Mechanisms and Mediators” by Dr. Robert Swift and Dr. Dena Davidson and “The Alcohol Hangover” by Dr. Jeffery G. Wiese explain the science behind the hangover and why drinking in excess is literally a “buzz kill”. For those who don’t want to deal with a hangover at all, these are some proven tips for preventing a hangover before you start drinking.

Don’t drink on an empty stomach. Alcohol is absorbed more quickly if your stomach is empty so this can help delay the painful symptoms of the hangover. Drinking a glass of milk before going out can help because it will coat the lining of your stomach and decrease the speed of absorption.

Get enough sleep. Alcohol disrupts normal sleep cycles so even though you may have been asleep all night, alcohol reduces the amount of time spent in the REM stage of sleep. Therefore, it is necessary to get as much rest as possible. It’s easier for this to happen if you start drinking earlier in the night so that when you stumble home from a bar at 2, you actually go to sleep.

Eat foods that are heavy in carbs. This helps your body absorb some of the alcohol that would have gone straight to your stomach. Essentially, go to Burger King, and make sure you order your whopper with the bun.

Drinking the wrong combination of drinks can also lead to a worse hangover.
For instance:

Drinking hard liquids, like red wine, brandy or dark rum. These kinds of alcohol have more congeners, which are other compounds created during the making of alcohol and one of the primary causes of a hangover. More congeners lead to a more severe hangover; if there’s an option, vodka is a safer bet.

Combining different kinds of drinks. Having drinks of different colors in the same night (e.g. dark rum and vodka) is not good because the combination of the high amount of congeners in rum with the vodka will not result in a happy morning. As tasty as it is, a Long Island Iced Tea is probably not the best choice if you have class in the morning.

“Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer you’re in the clear.” The carbonation in beer or champagne makes you digest the liquor faster than your body can deal with the onslaught. Nerys Williams, a former consultant physician, explains, “Bubbles in fizzy drinks cause the gastric sphincter to open and encourage absorption, so champagne may indeed go ‘straight to the head.’”

Although this is no true cure for a hangover, there are several ways to alleviate the symptoms. According to scientific articles, these are some tips that can help relieve the discomfort of being a walking train wreck the morning after.

Eat foods that give you energy, such as eggs or bananas, because they counteract the hangover symptoms that make you lethargic and tired. Do not attempt to eat to excess, just eat simple and healthy.

Drink anything that is high in vitamins, like sports drinks or Emergen-C packets. Dehydration is the most common physical side effect because alcohol has a dehydrating effect and it causes you to urinate a lot. Therefore, it is necessary to get liquid back into your system. This not only helps you get your system back on track, but it can help wake you up for the day.

Eat or drink sugary things, like honey or fruit juice. “Consumption of fruits, fruit juices, or other fructose-containing foods is reported to decrease hangover intensity,” write Dr. Robert Swift and Dena Davidson, authors of Alcohol Hangover. Because there is so little blood sugar in your system after you drink, having something sweet is important to getting your body back on track.

Eat very starchy (i.e. bland and boring) foods, like bread or crackers. These contain complex carbohydrates, which help counter the lower blood sugar level induced by alcohol. For instance, getting a bagel and OJ at Einstein’s on a weekend morning does wonders.

There are some more methods to alleviate nausea that aren’t exactly scientific, but will help nonetheless. Try listening to soft music to relax or taking a walk outside to wake yourself up, especially if you pulled a Keg Monday and need to go to class in the morning.

The recently released miracle hangover pill is complete fiction and has been debunked by several scientists. Leikin said, “Nothing has been proven to be effective. However, keeping your nutrition state balanced and having enough vitamins helps.” The only conclusive cures for hangover are time and sobriety.