“Only the Good Die Young” block: a dialogue
NICK CASTELE: So this block commemorated all those public figures who’ve passed away prematurely. The stage is decorated with tombstone cutouts. Here’s a selection of some of the epitaphs: “Heath Ledger 1979-2008 too soon?”, “R.I.P. BIGGIE”, “Pogs sometime in the 90s” and “Kanye’s Manners.”
DAN CAMPONOVO: Pogs are dead? I played with them over break.
CASTELE: Suppose so. I’m still getting over the loss of Crazy Bones. So what are your thoughts on the R.I.P. Dumbledore tombstone? Frankly, I haven’t read Harry Potter books 5-7 yet. Total spoiler for me.
CAMPONOVO: If we’re talking about the first actor to play Dumbledore, then it’s cool. If we’re talking about the character, HELL NO.
CASTELE: I’m just glad Gandalf came back to life after that Balrog incident. Also curious about your take on the R.I.P. Pluto tombstone.
CAMPONOVO: I learned at astronomy camp that Pluto is actually a KBO — a Kuiper Belt Object. So I knew it was coming sooner or later.
CASTELE: I’m still disturbed by the sight of Morty dancing in front of those tombstones. Not the best photo-op, if you ask me.
CAMPONOVO: [joke about former president Bienen removed due to tastelessness]
CASTELE: Here’s to hoping there’s a block honoring people who died too old. Any songs by Charlton Heston? Bet his vocal chords ripened with age, like a tasty Gorgonzola.
CAMPONOVO: L’Chaim.
CASTELE: Amen, brother. L’Chaim.
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Camponovo, unfortunately, you did not learn the whole story about Pluto at astronomy camp. There most certainly should not be a RIP Pluto tombstone, as planet Pluto is NOT dead. Pluto is BOTH a planet and a Kuiper Belt Object. Only four percent of the IAU voted on the controversial demotion, and most are not planetary scientists. Their decision was immediately opposed in a formal petition by hundreds of professional astronomers led by New Horizons Principal Investigator Dr. Alan Stern. One reason the IAU definition makes no sense is it says dwarf planets are not planets at all! That is like saying a grizzly bear is not a bear, and it is inconsistent with the use of the term “dwarf” in astronomy, where dwarf stars are still stars, and dwarf galaxies are still galaxies. Also, the IAU definition classifies objects solely by where they are while ignoring what they are. If Earth were in Pluto’s orbit, according to the IAU definition, it would not be a planet either. A definition that takes the same object and makes it a planet in one location and not a planet in another is essentially useless. Pluto is a planet because it is spherical, meaning it is large enough to be pulled into a round shape by its own gravity–a state known as hydrostatic equilibrium and characteristic of planets, not of shapeless asteroids held together by chemical bonds. These reasons are why many astronomers, lay people, and educators are either ignoring the demotion entirely or working to get it overturned.
Laurel Kornfeld
March 7, 2010 at 2:53 pm