One way in which to “review” the year came to me about a week ago, as I helped my friend move out of our dorm (he was “asked” to vacate the building. Let’s just say he wasn’t a CA’s dream as far as well-behaved residents go). Sorting through the accumulated piles of junk in his room, my friend held up each object he found and asked me, “What should I do with this?” Each time, it led to a question, story, or joke. “What was I thinking?” he said to a pink scrunchy. “What a waste of money,” he said, scowling at a Lifehouse ticket stub. Some lucky mementos, like a Dance Marathon t-shirt (how do you throw away a shirt you toiled for 30 hours for?) and a “Sex Six Pack” of condoms from Sex Week (probably with practical intentions) were tucked away to be kept, at least for now. Others, like so many LaRouche manifestos and a chipped shot-glass formal favor, never made it further than the hallway trash can.

The act of moving was forcing my friend to physically review the entire year. My suggestion, Northwestern, is to do just that. Instead of reading this column to round out your week, take the opportunity to make the process of moving into a process of reflection to round out your year. To guide your packing, here’s a list of possible mementos you may find in your dorm’s nooks and crannies.

• Flavored lube samples from Sex Week.
• The folder of welcome items and the hospital release form from New Student Week.
• Those e-mails you sent to Dean Lavine which you DID save.
• The towel that Girl Talk threw from the stage.
• The Little Black Recruitment Book from sorority rush… or the ashes of it, anyway.
• Your first fake — the one that says that you’re 17.
• Enough ASG campaign quarter-sheets to stuff your pillow. In fact, they did fill your pillow.
• A Burger King crown or four.
• The three cans of mace and the rape whistle your mom sent you after the “crime surge.”
• Your (still) empty DM can.
• A picture of your high-school soulmate whom you swore you’d be with forever… underneath some other guy’s boxer briefs.
• A Lambda Phi Epsilon ex-pledge cowering in your closet.
• Your thick down parka from winter quarter. Oh wait, that’s on your back.

Now, as you encounter these things, it’s up to you to decide what you’ll toss and what you want to remember of this year, one-quarter of the supposed best years of your life. Even though my friend tossed out more things than he kept, each of the items now lying at the bottom of the third-floor Hinman-Lincoln hall garbage can had at least received a fair chance before being hauled away forever. And every object upon that landed a prized spot in a duffel bag really deserved to be there.

After he was all packed up and out the door, I couldn’t wait to start moving myself. I had been searching for a thorough way to wrap up my year, and I had finally found it. Although I know that the garbage cans will be overflowing once the rest of us start packing, I’ll be glad that every memory left in my room will have been “reviewed.”

Northwestern played its part in serving up some of this week’s love by joining Questbridge, a non-profit program that makes education at the country’s best colleges possible for some low-income students. The university will provide students who might not have ever had the chance to come to Northwestern with vital scholarships. First the replacement of loans with grants earlier this year, now this! Looks like Northwestern is trying to make up for the dismal winter that came close to scaring us away once and for all.

And Feinberg, at it again, even reinforced the importance of love this week with a new study. Researchers found that couples who are loving and comfortable enough to be naked together in bright light were more likely to catch possible skin cancer. Apparently, shy couples lack the opportunity to check each other for possible cancerous spots, creating yet another justification for sex with the lights on and general nudeness. Men, for scientific-sounding language to show your special lady, click here. Nothing is quite as arousing as the threat of cancer. You’re welcome.

And this week, Northwestern announced the imminent special treatment of two of our campus’s most beloved buildings. On the short term, Harris Hall will be renovated, expanded and “modernized” within 18 months. Fans of the building’s historic appearance will be relieved to hear that much of the neoclassical architecture will be preserved, though it appears nothing can be done to remedy the monotony of the classes that occur in 107.

Over the long term, the university has begun an extensive process of updating the library, assessing what the Class of 2030 will require of its giant concrete monstrosity. Hopefully by then, we’ll be off the Dewey decimal system, but we won’t hold our breaths.

Rent star Anthony Rapp stopped by on Wednesday and Thursday to speak about his experiences in show business, and ended the event with an a cappella rendition of “Seasons of Love” from Rent. Well, it may not quite be summer yet, but this week was a week of love, at the least.

For a second on Wednesday, I thought I was living in a real version of the Princess Diaries when I saw police escorts and heard rumblings of royalty on campus. But alas, to my dismay, it seemed Anne Hathaway would not be getting a makeover and finding her true love at Northwestern — instead, Sheikha Mozah Bint Nasser al-Missned, the wife of Qatar’s head of state, came to visit.

At first, I was tragically disappointed, but the fact that she was visiting Medill students and asking them questions about media relations between the United States and the Middle East was exciting. Would we live up? Would we be disappointing? Whenever someone especially noteworthy (female royalty especially, even if she wasn’t wearing crown jewels and robes à la Julie Andrews in the Diaries) comes to Medill, I get a little nervous that we won’t live up to our world-renowned name. But my fellow Medillians didn’t let me down. We showed her SportsNight! Bulls-eye!

After that ace-in-the-hole, our music school changed its perfectly-fine name to the Bienen School of Music. The Bienen School of Music. Well, it doesn’t exactly roll right off the tongue, and shouldn’t the name of a music school be a little more harmonious? Maybe something French? At this point, I can only hope that Daft Punk (they’re French) soon swoops in with a hefty donation and a swift name change.

That’s not to say, however, that President Bienen doesn’t deserve a tribute. SESP is still nameless, and I’m sure no one would mind if the Shakespeare Garden became the Bienen Garden.

And early this week, we finally found the new dean of Weinberg. Sarah Mangelsdorf, dean of the liberal arts college at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, will be taking over the helm. We wish her the best in avoiding a Dean Lavine-like start.

We showed Qatar royalty the best of our sports coverage, gave the School of Music a cacophonic new name, and lay the groundwork for another dean-related scandal this week. The news was big, but the irony was bigger. I’m confused, Northwestern. Another stunt like this and we’ll be having Jerry Springer as a commencement speaker. Oh, wait…

1. Free food
2. Beach
3. Free Eberhard
4. Free Eberhard!

For those who haven’t yet lived, Eberhard is Northwestern’s chemical sweetheart, and is known for putting on awesome chemistry demonstrations that even journalism majors can appreciate. See you there!

And on Tuesday, the first event in the Northwestern Community Development Corps’ lecture series will take place at the Marjorie Mitchell Multimedia Center in the main library at 7 p.m. A film called “El Alambrista” will be shown, followed by a discussion, and free refreshments have been promised.

It all started with Cinco de Mayo. As a holiday understood by college students simply as the day that dining halls serve lukewarm fajitas and that students get an excuse to drink in the middle of the week, the fifth of May has little to offer besides an extra-crowded night at The Keg and the bastardization of a Mexican holiday. As a result, later that night many of the aforementioned lukewarm fajitas saw light again.

The search is on for a new women’s basketball coach, as coach Beth Combs’s resignation was announced Wednesday. The Presidential Search Committee is also hard at work looking for Northwestern’s next Bienen. Why not kill two birds with one stone and get a basketball-coaching presidente? It would preferably be someone who could rake in the millions for our endowment through sneaker endorsements, but dare to dream.

In an effort to end an annoyance, Northwestern professor Ernest Moore has been researching cures for tinnitus, a chronic ringing in the ears that affects thousands of war veterans. The professor has resorted to inducing ringing in the ears of zebrafish and testing their behavior. We can’t say for sure how the zebrafish feel about this particular imposition.

AEISEC tried a new way of painting the Rock on Thursday, covering it with flags from countries around the world. Perhaps the flags shielded the Rock from the week’s schizo weather, or perhaps the group got the idea from the Ron Paul Rock from a few months ago. Oh Ronnie, you must be at it again!

And the Office of the Registrar, always several steps ahead of us, has already posted classes for Fall Quarter on CAESAR. But as far as this week was concerned, registration is the last thing on our mind since we’re still deciding whether to drop that GPA-sabotaging class before the week is over.

Hopefully by next week the fuzzy dandelion balls will be gone, along with the mid-quarter slump.

And on Sunday at 1 p.m., show your support for the ‘Cats while filling your belly at the Baseball vs. Indiana Chipotle Big game. It’s the last home game of the season, and the first 50 Northwestern students to show up will get a coupon for a free burrito. The kicker? One lucky student will win a free quarter supply of burritos.

Also on Sunday is the AIESEC Global Village event featuring performances from student groups such as Northwestern Bhangra and NAYO Dance Ensemble. Free food from different cultures around the country will be served, so save your Munch Money and show up to Parkes Hall from 4:00 to 6:30.

If nothing suits your fancy so far, try going to Peace of Mind’s Mu-Jew Cook-Off on Sunday at Parkes 122 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. People of all religions are invited to come socialize, cook and eat Jewish and Muslim food for free. Never had Matzoh Ball Soup, Msakhan, or Kugel? Now’s your chance to try ‘em.