It’s understandable that the FCC has to uphold some standard of decency in broadcast media (think of the children!). Some movies, though, are so steeped in questionable content that they should stay off the airwaves — not so much to protect the innocence of the viewers as to preserve the artistic integrity of the films in question. Still, TV stations will do their darnedest to get people to watch, which results in the bastardization of movies that it’s hard to make kid-friendly. This practice might be despicable, but it’s absolved by the fact that it offers endless comic potential. Dodging curses becomes especially laughable when the profanity in question is a well-known quote that’s been deeply incorporated into pop culture. But the show must go on.

When FX decided to air Snakes on a Plane, for example (so much for “artistic integrity”), the explicit content had to be removed one way or another. The station could have just taken out the the film’s most famous line, but what would the movie be without it? Instead, they apparently opted to take the dumber, more hilarious approach:

Similarly, the Die Hard franchise sans Bruce Willis’ trademark somehow loses some of its punch. This Die Hard 2: Die Harder montage culminates with the eyebrow-raising substitution. Honorable mention: “Joe off!”

Don’t even get me started on Scarface. Pineapple? Really? Classic.

And then there’s Tarantino. Profanity is integrated into the very fabric of his work; his ability to pen dialogue, including foul language, is part of what makes him great. Deciding to dub Pulp Fiction, which clocks in at a whopping 265 F-bombs, would be such a laborious undertaking that it probably wouldn’t even be worth it, even taking the film’s wild success into account.

Same goes for The Big Lebowski.

As if you needed proof that cell phones are cooler in Europe, Vodafone has recreated the 1812 Overture with 1000 text messages. Check the related videos page to see how it was made.

In honor of our greatest guilty pleasure, this post will highlight a few of Miley’s greatest moments, tributes and blunders.

“Party in the U.S.A.,” ASL-style

There is something absolutely hypnotizing about the movements in this video. It’s almost more like a dance-a-long than an aid for the aurally challenged. Maybe someday drunk college students can sign along to this catchy number (for extra fun, check out the translated lyrics on the sidebar).

Goodbye Twitter — or Miley trys to rap

To the dismay of millions, Miley Cyrus quit Twitter a few weeks ago. Instead of a formal statement on the matter, Miley decided to do a little rap to explain her choice. Unfortunately, the girl ain’t no T-Swift.

Miranda sings Miley

For those of you who haven’t yet discovered the YouTube gem that is Miranda Sings, you’re in for a treat. A YouTube pseudo-celebrity, Miranda is a character created by Colleen Ballinger to satirize bad singers who post on YouTube. This particular video was favorited by Miley — if you want to skip past her characteristic rambling, skip to 1:43.

“Ninja turtles — the mutant kind!”

There are countless, priceless videos from “The Miley and Mandy Show,” Miley Cyrus and creepy older best friend Mandy Jiroux’s (what happened to Lesley?!) YouTube channel. However, this mash-up compacts the infamous feud between BFFs Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato and Miley and Mandy — Selena/Demi posted a video which Miley/Mandy made fun of by directly parodying. This video is the only genuinely entertaining thing I have seen Miley do — at least that I will admit. “Ninja turtles — the mutant kind!” makes me laugh every time. Comedic gold, Miley.

Stop-motion animations are undeniably cool. A string of strategic still photographs shown as a progression can be used as a type of special effect, allowing its subjects to bend the laws of reality. Often, this is used for funny videos, like this one:

Tony vs. Paul

The flying and moving-through-fences effects are so friggin’ cool, and the fact that you know exactly how they were achieved makes it perhaps more so.

Stop-motion is often used to show the construction of a project or artwork from beginning to end, which can appear as a growth effect, especially if the artist himself doesn’t appear in the images. The graffiti artist Blu has mastered the medium, though, by turning the process he captures into the artwork itself rather than only achieving completion at the end of the video. Blu works on public walls, and videos like this beg the question of how much time, energy, and paint he expends over the course of a single project. This probably would have gotten a lot of strange looks from passersby:

MUTO by Blu

Here, Blu collaborated with painter David Ellis in an old courtyard:

COMBO by Blu and David Ellis

It turns out that Ellis, too, is a a prolific stop-motion artist. Never has watching paint dry been so fascinating:

Daily by David Ellis

Truck by David Ellis

As a supplement to the feature on Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, here are some videos highlighting the best of their work from the past:

Stella:
Below is one choice episode of Stella, the tv series. All 10 episodes are available on Hulu, which is where you get your TV. Kill some time, why don’t you.

A Stella Short:
featuring Bradley Cooper

The Michael Showalter Showalter, an original internet series on Collegehumor.com:

Michael Ian Black on VH1’s “I love the 90s”:
Doing his thing.

Showalter’s Parody Ad for the 92YTribeca:

This year’s Video Music Awards reminded listeners of one of the catchiest pop songs in years, Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” However, Kanye West is not the only one who can breathe new life into this song’s staying power. California duo Pomplamoose has created a cover that is…just delightful. This one has a winning formula: bug-eyed indie female vocalist with bangs and faux-British accent sings infectious pop/R&B hit on video. What’s nice about this video is how it translates a digital hit into a more musical rendition that retains the great elements of the vocals yet succeeds on its own coffee-shop vibe. The video:

Also, check out their cover of Earth Wind and Fire’s “September.”

Hello Northwestern, Netplay has returned to bring you the highlights from the dark reaches of the Web. While we haven’t published them in some time, viral videos are still as prevalent in always. So, without further ado, here’s a little bit of Web comedy for your Monday:

1. Touch my Body

This is the latest in a long line of classic “Karaoke Fails.” This young boy is singing along to Mariah Carey’s “Touch my Body.” Unfortunately, he doesn’t quite have the range, among other things.

2. Flash Mobs!

Japan — always keeping things exciting. Here is an older video that falls under the category of great massive demonstrations on tape. What’s more curious, however, is this imitation video:

3. Jonas Brothers‘ Foam!

Use your imagination.

With only 23 days left before the happiest day of the Northwestern year, Mayfest has been mum about which musical acts will be gracing Evanston for Dillo Day 2009. I mean, we have a pretty good idea of at least two of the performers, but Mayfest isn’t spilling the beans just yet. But the group did give a potential clue late Wednesday night via their Twitter (yes, everything has a Twitter) in the form of a video. Let’s watch this clip and try to make some crazy performer predictions based off of it!

What have we learned from this video? Well, someone at Mayfest has Photoshop skills that range from pretty darn good to “when were The Decemberists showered in radioactive material?” Back on topic — not too much learned here. Considering that the majority of the artists featured in the video are either way over Mayfest’s budget or dead (sorry, Tupac conspiracy theorists), we don’t have much to go off of. But did you peep The Decemberists (they were the size of a blimp) and N.E.R.D.? Clearly some of the artists featured have potential to play Dillo Day, or else Mayfest is playing with everyone’s mind by teasing us with what we think we know. So, where to start? Lets look at the artists that really stick out (you know, like The Decemberists and N.E.R.D.) and speculate away.

The two “I don’t think they would ever come, but you never know…” artists in this video are Estelle and Lady Gaga, who both have had mega-popular hit songs but who have only one or two hits. They are red herrings to the max — five years and a Celebrity Apprentice down the line you might see them, but for now they are pipe dreams.

Sorta-kinda-psych rockers MGMT appear late in the video, standing next to Willie the Wildcat. The Chronicle had a word jumble thing from like a month ago that claimed the duo, along with The Decemberists and N.E.R.D., would play Dillo Day. Well, not so fast, because this blog says that rumor has been “smashed.” Who are we going to trust here, anonymous blog or The Chron? Probably neither.

Finally, how about Regina Spektor? She pops up right after The Spice Girls/BK shot, and she definitely fits the bill of “I’m not sure who this is, thank goodness the photo used in this video is also the first one on Google Image Search.” Of all the rumored performers, I think this one has the most chance of actually happening: Students like her, she’s got catchy songs and, most importantly, she has a new album coming out in June that needs some promoting. Yeah, I’ve got nothing to go off of, but why would they include Regina Spektor in this if they weren’t at least entertaining the though of bringing her in?

All right, enough from me. Get to rumor-mongering, people.

Clarification appended

One round of ASG voting just wasn’t enough, apparently. Bill Pulte and Mike McGee ran closely enough to force a run-off vote, scheduled for this Friday. If you were one of the record 4,455 voters who cast a ballot, I’m sure you already have your mind made up (except for the Luke Adams crowd and the 18 of you who voted for Dickie Humps; find a new outlet for your expression). But for everyone else who forgot to vote or could care less about ASG elections (here!) and who suddenly feel spurred to participate in student democracy, who should you vote for? Sure, you could focus on the issues or which candidate’s platform would benefit you most, but BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING.

Thankfully, the two candidates remaining both have faux-rap videos online devoted to them. Forget matters of substance. Which candidate can spit the hottest fire? Well, in this case, neither candidate actually drops any verses, so it comes down to who has the best MC repping them. First up, the rap about Mike McGee:

The “Fresh Prince” beat seems played out at first, but whoever put this together mixed it up, adding a new twist to an old classic. The lyrics focus on positive change, casting McGee as the conscious candidate. Some of the rhymes are whack (”We got a new president, his name is Schapiro / that means change, there’s nothing to fear-o”), but it’s overall a very upbeat number about making Northwestern a better place. But not stupid upbeat, like that will.i.am Obama song. How about the Pulte rap?

OK, you probably figured out Bill Pulte in no way endorses this, especially since it explicitly tells you not to vote for Bill Pulte. Plus, it’s loaded with spelling errors. And that’s probably good, because if he seriously made a parody of the already-a-parody “I’m On A Boat,” he’d lose the valuable Netplay demographic (hey all six of you!). However, this Pulte diss does raise a valid point: was Bill Pulte in anyway involved with the Pike atrocity “Fratstar?” Did he contribute vocals? Did he give it his approval? Did he not just say “seriously guys, cut it out?” If it is revealed that Mr. Pulte is anyway associated with or not physically repulsed by “Fratstar,” he should pull out of this run-off election and record a heartfelt apology rap.

Obviously, deciding who to cast your presidential ballot for based on rap videos is stupid. But as a senior who has absolutely no stake in this election, I encourage you to follow your heart and vote for the candidate with the better song.

(And since Bill Pulte didn’t actually get a positive video featured in this post, I’ll give him a plug here. Well, sort of, because this pro-Pulte ad features all the hallmarks of a “The More You Know” spot.)

Clarification, 2:37 a.m.: This story has been clarified to reflect the fact that 4,455 students cast ballots, and 4,421 of those ballots were eligible. Thanks to Election Commissioner Paul David Shrader for the clarification.

If you’ve viewed any YouTube videos at all today, you may have noticed a large banner across the top announcing the YouTube Symphony project. The banner, placed in the same high-profile yet highly-ignorable area that usually houses the “Stay cool, we are performing site maintenance, everything will be 100% in a bit” message, represents a long-term and innovative project coming to fruition.

YouTube hosted auditions for musicians of all types and then built the symphony by mashing videos contributions from selected musicians around the world. Very Web-2.0 indeed.

The music itself? YouTube quality, at best. The project may be bold, but there are certainly advantages to having your symphony players in the same room.

More details available here.

But if you want to see something far cooler…go here instead.

On April Fools Day, it’s standard for media outlets to mess around with their readers, setting up fake website, fake news stories, and crazy fake inventions. Let’s take a tour of what really blew our minds on this mischievous day.

First, YouTube showed off their new upside-down layout, complete with instructions for viewing.

Screenshot of YouTube by author

Woot, an online store that sells random stuff for cheap, had an awesome offer today: random crap. Only $3.00, plus $1,000,000.00 for shipping.

Screenshot of Woot.com by author

Qualcomm Innovation, a wireless networking company, showed off their newest networking technology, including the Wolfpigeon, expanding networks…

Screenshot of Qualcomm.com by author

…the Sharkfalcon, which uses “ruthless flying killing machines” to prevent Wolfpigeon insurrections…

Screenshot of Qualcomm.com by author

…and of course, the Crocodeagle, to keep the sharkfalcon population low.

Screenshot of Qualcomm.com by author

For some fun text-filled pranks take a look at the Guardian in the United Kingdom explained that after “188 years of ink” they’ll be switching to publishing exclusively via Twitter. How trendy of them.

And don’t forget Google, those tricksters, who introduced us to “CADIE: the Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity.” No, I’m not sure what that means either.

Finally, your very own North By Northwestern showed off our newest sister-site, geared towards our favorite demographic: the Vikings. Bursting at the seams with puns, pillaging, and Nordic heavy Viking metal rock (Sweet Home Scandinavia is my jam!), Norse By Norsewestern truly made my morning.

Screenshot of Norse By Norsewestern by author

Today on North by Northwestern, you might find my review of Miss March and interview with Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore and Craig Robinson. As a big fan of Moore and Cregger’s sketch show, The Whitest Kids U’ Know, I was thrilled to write these articles and get to meet these guys. However, I forecast that somewhat less than 100 percent of you are explicitly familiar with the sketch troupe. So, to supplement all that jazz, I am posting a bit of a get-to-know-you portfolio of some of the best Whitest Kids sketches from their TV series (The show is on IFC, which is not a Viacom company and therefore hasn’t been obliterated from YouTube). Warning: these clips are certainly NSFW.

1: The Slow Jerk. This is perhaps the most widespread of the WKUK videos. Your typical “bro” has imitated this one at least a couple of times.

2: The New Thing: This skit was so good that Budweiser stole the idea and made a commercial… not sure how the suit turned out.

3: Ford’s Theater: I was thrilled to see this done live at the WK show on Thursday, being immersed in the cross-theater yelling. Everyone knows the old stereotype about a certain kind of person being vocal in theaters. Of course, I’m talking about President Abraham Lincoln.

4: The Classroom Skit: If things offend you, please don’t watch this.

5: The Dirty Dating Game: Just filthy.

6: Poop Meeting: Fans of poop only, please.

7: The Deer: Ibid., except with bestiality.

8: Get a New Daddy: A bit of musical comedy. This one’s also shocking to most, but if you’ve made it this far I assume that you are into this sort of thing.

This morning, John logged into Northwestern’s CAESAR network to assess classes for the upcoming Spring Quarter. He wasn’t hoping for much. A few open psychology classes here and a few art classes there and he’d be in business. But when John went to search for classes, he stumbled across the threshold into the Twilight Zone. John went flying head over feet through time and space, and when he awoke, he found himself in 1947!

That’s what CAESAR thinks, at least. The already complaint-worthy registration system is still up and running, however at last glance the wormhole to the baby boom is still there. No, you can’t actually see those courses.

Say hello to President Truman for me.

Looks like Northwestern students are about to lose another platform where they can be total dicks. Juicy Campus, the Web site where you could gossip about your school and the people therein anonymously, is calling it quits. A few recent highlights from the Northwestern section of the site, to remind you of what we will be losing:

- “So we need to find a SLUT…”

- “What a whore”

- “Foursome!”

- “Who wouldn’t you under any circumstances ever fuck?”

- “purple underwear in bushes by tennis courts”

Gah, I feel dumber just typing that. So yeah, students will need to find a new venue to gossip about which sorority has the loosest ladies. Or they could read a book and try to undo all that cerebral damage. Hey, they can start by reading NBN’s article about Juicy Campus.

If you read through NBN’s liveblog of the Super Bowl commercials, one of our biggest complaints was the missing Miller High Life one-second ad. The brew company bought up ad time for various one second ads. Yet, I didn’t see any of them during the game tonight.

Well, upon further review, turns out Budweiser might possibly be to blame for the ad not showing. Bud is the official beer of the NFL, so they get the prime spots. Miller had to go through the local NBC affiliates for ad time and, though I find it hard to believe, they might have just missed the Chicago market. That’s the only reason I can think of for the spot not airing.

Anyway, regardless of why I (or any of my friends) didn’t see it, Miller is showing it (and a few other one-second ads) up on their website. And, after watching the super short ad…I can definitely say it’s the best ad of the night. Different, attention-grabbing and pretty funny when you think about it. Basically, better than the slew of crap every other company had tonight. In case you are too lazy to click that link or aren’t 21, the one-second clip is below.

Did anyone in the Chicago area see this? Especially in Evanston? Here are the ads that “didn’t make the cut,” if you want some more second-long goodness.