As an education major, I tend to freak out when I hear of forbidden teacher-student relationships, real or not. Yet in Glee, it was surprisingly entertaining (not to mention frightening) to watch Rachel pine for Will, and then to see Will take appropriate precautions — thank you boundaries! And yes, this does actually happen. And it’s awkward.

This episode had a lot of singing and a lot of drama, so basically I was a happy camper. We meet Quinn’s (blond) parents, a former student who used to be in love with Will (warning: it’s creepy!), some moments between Kurt and Finn, a baby confession, three karaoke songs, an intense fight, and two bitchy scenes with Terri — one’s funny though. Finn shows his true colors, and the glee club shows their solidarity and support for Quinn and Finn. And of course, everything is solved by 8:57 CST.

Predictions: Well, at least one person knows that Finn isn’t the baby daddy. Considering how solid the glee club is, the baby-daddy drama may not be as bad as I may have thought. I just hope Sue will be back next week.

Music Tip: I tend to melt when Artie starts to sing, and especially when he riffs. His riffs during “Lean on Me” were simple, eloquent and not overstated. Also, it was refreshing to hear Will actually sing rather than rap. I love his rapping skills, but he’s been on Broadway multiple times, and this episode we really got to see why — to be honest, I was swooning almost as much as Emma and Rachel.

First of all, since when did Brody start playing pool like he was at some Southern Illinois pub? Déclassé, Brody. Extremely déclassé.

And then I see Kristin walking down the sidewalk to have dinner with Jayde. My heart was seriously racing. No doubt when Kristin sat down Jayde already had a few drinks in her, only adding fuel to her always-saturated-in-alcohol fire. Does anyone else think Jayde looks like some sort of house cat in human form? And not in a sexy sort of way. It was so obvious that Kristin had all her shit together and Jayde had seriously fallen off the deep end. Kristin was so put together and Jayde’s hair was getting all up in her face. Kristin was calm and collected and Jayde was babbling all over the place like the drunk she is. And let’s be honest. We all know Jayde is and never will be a match for Kristin. When Jayde told her, “Go back to where you came from,” I feared for her life. Who do you think you are, talking to Kristin Cavallari like this? Do you know where she’s been? Do you know what she’s done?

Heidi: Your plan is questionable. Seriously questionable.

And then Jayde, the alchie house cat, met Brody for dinner.

Jayde: Pronouncing adult like ‘A-dult’ doesn’t make you sound intelligent.

…and then she said she wants to get back together…

Wait. No. No. This cannot happen. I thought this was your exit from the show, Jayde. Please, for the world’s sanity, tell me you’re not serious. And Brody is considering it! He wants to work it out?! Is this for real? I’m losing respect for you, Brady. Losing respect.

Final Verdict: Wait, Kristin’s going to Vegas? What just happened?

House took a turn to the carnal on this week’s episode, with the soon-to-be patient, Hank (Troy Garity), collapsing from hypersensitivity to light while on the set of a pornographic film in which he was starring. Are we surprised that House (Hugh Laurie) snatched up this case so quickly?

Episode Summary

We open with where we left off last episode, with Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) having just found out about Chase’s (Jesse Spencer) part in the Dibala debacle. In spite of her well-professed morals, Cameron forgives Chase, but convinces him that in order to move past it, they had to leave Princeton-Plainsboro.

As Dr. Kevorkian and wife arrive at work, House brings them into the loop concerning their new patient. Before beginning, though, Chase and Cameron reveal their plans to leave. While performing the usual diagnostic brainstorming, Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) makes a brief appearance, telling House that his license has been officially renewed. No surprise there.

While the team begins to check their porn star for STDs, House pays a visit to Taub (Peter Jacobson) and Thirteen (Olivia Wilde). Using his usual charm and complimentary attitude (as if), he tries to convince them to come back to the team, while simultaneously pitching different possible diagnoses for Hank. Both submit possibilities for his ailments, while at the same time refusing to return.

After Hank’s STD scan comes up dry, Hank drifts deeper into illness while House and the team flounder for an answer. Flip-flopping between vitamin D deficiency, sclerosing cholangitis (causing liver failure) and leukemia, the team continually fails to find a viable diagnosis.

Just when all seems lost, though, a further foray into Hank’s liver reveals something unexpected: strongyloides, a.k.a. threadworms. With this new knowledge, Thirteen and Taub jointly come to the conclusion that Hank has Crohn’s disease, while at the same time rediscovering the magic of diagnostics.

The episode closes with Chase deciding that Cameron’s decision to forgive did not really reflect her own beliefs, and so he chooses to stay and work for House, while Cameron leaves, convinced that House has permanently ruined Chase. Following Cameron’s exit, Taub and Thirteen arrive, as expected, to once again pledge themselves to diagnostics.

What Worked

House’s stalking of Taub and Thirteen, while on some level could possibly be perceived as creepy, was nothing short of entertaining. And of course, what we know by now is that whatever House wants, he inevitably and eventually gets (next conquest Cuddy?).

What Didn’t

Cameron’s departure seemed somewhat akin to that of one of her previous colleagues, Dr. Kutner, who was killed off without warning last season. While we’ve known for a while that Cameron was destined to leave us, the way in which the writers wrote her exit was a bit too abrupt for my taste.

Predictions

With Cameron gone and House relicensed and finally with a permanent team again, we will, in all likelihood, return to the usual medical dramatics and mysteries. Hopefully, House will continue to follow his libido straight back to Cuddy.

The commercials in the months leading up to George Lopez’s talk show may have given off the impression that it would be a program worth watching. After all, President Obama wouldn’t appear in an ad campaign for and lend his slogan to a televised train wreck, right?

Wrong.

Lopez Tonight kicked off last week on TBS. Lopez will host the hour-long show five nights a week. It starts at 10 p.m. CST, so the time slot indirectly overlaps with the shows of more established hosts like David Letterman and Conan O’Brien.

The first warning sign during the premiere was the “party” atmosphere. Blaring music, an oversized venue and a screaming audience give off the impression of a My Super Sweet Sixteen episode, something the world could stand to live without.

Instead of opening the show with topical one-liners, it seemed like Lopez tried and failed to throw together a stand-up act. About 12 minutes into the show, the first commercial beak was a welcome relief from the jokes.

The fact that Lopez had big-name guests should have helped out his cause, if only he could have engaged them in interesting conversation. Eva Longoria Parker told of an argument with Mars Inc. over her Peanut M&Ms. Kobe Bryant struggled to say anything of substance and wasn’t helped by Lopez’s constant fascination with repeating curses for the censors.

Logic would dictate that Carlos Santana performing “Oye Como Va” could save even the worst of shows. Not so, although it was impressive that Lopez snagged such a prestigious first musical guest. If he can consistently book good acts, he’ll have that advantage over other talk shows.

Granted, few talk shows are perfect at the start. It took Jimmy Fallon a couple of months to grow into his new role and tweak his content.

It’s not that there’s absolutely no hope for the future of this show. It is likely to appeal to a broader racial demographic than the other talk shows. The only problem with that theory is that Lopez’s being Chicano likely won’t be enough for the show to steal viewers from other hosts with better quips.

Lopez has everything that major network hosts don’t have and don’t need: a supply of recycled jokes from a canceled sitcom, the support of a smaller TV network and guests who tell stories that make viewers want to add: “And then I found five dollars.”

From the anxious actors to the janitor who always blurts out his weird thoughts, everyone at TGS can’t wait for the newly hired cast member — the street performing robot — to arrive in the studio. Upon his arrival it’s hard to believe he was the person under all that silver paint. Played by actor Cheyenne Jackson, the clean-cut addition to the TGS lineup introduces himself as Jack Baker but is promptly renamed Danny by Jack Donaghy, who will not have any other Jacks running around the building.

After meeting the new talent, Jack asks Liz to join him for dinner. They go to a dimly lit restaurant where he pushes the candle out of the way in anticipation of Liz reaching over to dig her fork into his chocolate cake. He proposes that they make her new self-help book for women, Dealbreakers, into a talk show with Liz as the host. She quickly agrees and enjoys the rest of Jack’s dessert.

But when she talks to Tracey and Jenna, they tell her about how they got taken advantage of when they were making a name for themselves. They advise her to shop her show around before just allowing Jack to take the reins on the project. Liz agrees to let Jenna set her up with an agent and the duo consider this little talk a success. They dub themselves “The Problem Solvers” and go on a crusade to help whoever they can.

The first person to seek their help is Kenneth. Danny refuses the page’s assistance and insists on doing things for himself, which is a problem for the deeply dedicated Kenneth. They attempt to talk some sense into the new actor, but instead he scares them into treating the kid better by telling them that someday Kenneth could be their boss. The street-performer-turned-actor’s opinion is anything could happen so you should treat people respectfully. However, it only lasts so long as Kenneth loves nothing more than to be needed.

As Liz tries to do her best in the business world, Jack decides to go ahead making the talk show with Padma Lakshmi, of Top Chef, as a possible host. Despite having no luck with getting other networks interested and an inexperienced agent with the hiccups, Liz fights back by trying to sue NBC. When she finally gets someone else to pick up the show, she realizes they don’t have her best interests at heart. At the same time, Jack meets with Padma and discovers that he doesn’t want to give her the job. In a moment reminiscent of most romantic comedies, Liz and Jack run towards each other, meet in front of a water fountain and decide to go into business together.

Quote of the evening:

Tracy: “The future is like a Japanese game show, you have no idea what’s going on.”

Betty indulges her inner wild child for a features piece on “being fearless.” When she runs into bad boy Bobby — Hilda’s ex-boyfriend from high school and the perennial object of Betty’s pre-adolescent affection — she decides to take driving lessons with him.

Meanwhile, Marc offers Justin some tips on high school: befriend the popular girls and play along with the constant harrassment. When Justin is crowned homecoming queen as a mean joke, he gracefully accepts, and hands the crown to his mom, who was pregnant with him at the time of her homecoming queen nomination 15 years ago. It’s a touching moment for the Suarez family, followed by Justin’s quick denial that he is actually gay.

In the Slater household, Wilhelmina almost buckles under the pressure of paying off the “detective” for Nico’s “murder.” She concludes that she must leave Mode to seek out Connor Owens and reclaim the money he stole from her in season three. She quits her position at Mode, only to find out that Connor’s body was discovered washed up on a foreign shore.

At Mode, Daniel reaches “level five” — supposed reunion with his dead wife Molly — of his healing/grief-support group, the Community of the Phoenix. The Community has become increasingly more cultlike in this episode, especially with its recommended diet of “vitamin-enhanced water” alone and its bead-wearing. The diet has him acting loopy, but not enough to worry Betty or Mrs. Meade.

Things we liked:

1. The Suarez sisters’ self-discovery. Hanging out with Bobby helps Betty realize she can step outside the box from the nerdy and occasionally boring guys she usually dates (ahem, Walter), and Hilda realizes she might be missing out on other opportunities by limiting herself to dating Archie.
2. Betty stepping outside her comfort zone. Stick shifts, bad boys, and going out on work nights? I like it. I like it a lot.
3. Justin standing up for himself. Sure, that performing arts high school might’ve provided a buffer for social angst, but he’s probably building more character in a public high school setting.

Things we didn’t like:

1. The creepy cult that is the Community of the Phoenix. Sure, it’s intriguing, and I can’t wait to see what “level five” really means, but it all just seems a little too unbelievable, even for the “Ugly Betty” writers.
2. The lack of Marc/Amanda dynamic. Last week, they worried over breaking Betty’s “pudgy little heart.” This week, they weren’t in a single scene together.
3. The general lack of funny moments in this episode. I think I only laughed when Amanda mentioned something about the aesthetic quality of her “chesticles.”

A shocking discovery was made this week on Community: Abed isn’t a pariah -– he’s a prophet, or a “Middle Eastern eight ball,” according to Shirley.

This conclusion about the quirky and eccentric Abed is reached after his student films are brought back into the show. This time, instead of imaging the cast as members of his family, Abed’s movie clips identically portray the plots of preview Community episodes. It’s not the eerie cast of look-a-likes he managed to find for his movies that makes him so bizarre, but rather his ability to have them play out the story lines of each episode… before they happen.

His latest cinematic classic predicts Jeff and Annie caught in an impromptu make-out session while a werewolf (yes, you read that correctly) hunts down Shirley. His movies have been right about everything else, so why not an unlikely kiss and a supernatural being?

The first part of Abed’s prediction comes true quickly and easily in a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Jeff is recruited to the community college debate team. He’s surprised to find singing E.L.O. will not suffice if Greendale is to beat Jeremy “Soulpatch” Simmons of City College. So Jeff, who of course is assigned to argue that man is evil, is convinced to study and prepare for the competition, and in the next round, the debate gets heated.

Case in point:

Jeff: Abu Ghraib!

Soulpatch: Apu from “The Simpsons!”

Greendale clinches the win when Annie kisses Jeff to prove man Jeff is “horny, and therefore evil.” It was a cute scenario for one episode, but would fail if it became part of a larger story arch. Hopefully their romance was short-lived; Jeff’s awkward pat on Annie’s head fortunately hinted at finality.

Meanwhile, Britta confronts her bad smoking habit through a hypnotherapy sessions led by Pierce. Britta knows Pierce is faking his abilities, but wants him to feel good about his healing powers.

As it turns out, Pierce knows Britta knows he’s a fraud, and doesn’t want her pity. Through Pierce’s crazy antics, he is inadvertently able to help Britta quit the cancer sticks (although with no help from Jeff, who at one point says to Britta, “I’m saying this because I care about you and you’re my friend. You need to start smoking again.”).

The only missing element was the werewolf! The setup of the episode had me wondering how it was going to play out for the remainder of the 30 minutes (I was hoping for something along the lines of Tracy Jordan’s Werewolf Bar Mitzvah from 30 Rock). There was mention of “a fool moon tonight,” spooking Shirley, but it wasn’t entirely satisfying.

Lastly, forget what I said last week about the need for Troy and Abed to return for their 30-second spot during the closing credits. The characters Abed cast to play Troy and himself in his movies make for an even more ridiculously enjoyable end to the episode.

Summary:

Although this episode starts with what looks like Bring It On on crack, it’s actually less focused on the comedy and more focused on the lack of diversity in the school’s extracurricular activities. We see Brittany (the blonde cheerleader who doesn’t do much) actually talk, a pretty awesome diva-off between Kurt and Rachel, a messy baking scene between two former lovers, a kiss between new ones (I hope!), a huge fist fight between best friends, and a number on wheelchairs (“Proud Mary”). We also see into Sue’s life. I won’t give it away, but it did make me tear up a little bit.

Music Tip:

I love Kurt and Artie’s voices. Not to say that the others’ aren’t amazing, it’s just refreshing to see what the rest of the cast can do. And they’ve got really great voices: Artie has a poppy, glottal and smooth baritone that could scream teeny-bopper boy band, and Kurt’s simple voice easily mixes into falsetto as smooth as Mika or Freddie Mercury. They’re both simple, easy to listen to, and sang songs that really complemented their voices.

Predictions:

Quinn needs to come clean about the baby — now. This episode was all about Puck trying to act like a father, and Quinn bitching at Finn about lacking in the future-father department. I also think that Finn has some potential in being a mechanic, so maybe he’ll have a job with Kurt’s dad once his employers figure out he can walk (which could be awkward). And thanks, Glee — you made me wait for two weeks and now no sign of Emma and Will? I can only hope for next week.

This week’s triumphant return of House to the Monday night lineup opened with a group of teenage girls (who seemed as if they’d be more at home on My Super Sweet Sixteen) trying to get into a band’s concert after-party. Amid the hustle and bustle of teenage drama, the headstrong one of the pack (played by Annabelle Attanasio), along with her token sidekick, cut the line and join the band in the elevator. Fast-forward to the following morning, when, during a recitation of the night’s exploits, Little Miss Headstrong notices her hands and feet have swollen to the size of balloons and summarily collapses.

Episode Summary

Our party-prone patient regains consciousness in Princeton-Plainsboro, with the diagnostics team doing its best to figure out the cause of her swollen appendages. House (Hugh Laurie), just before his departure with Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) and Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) for a medical conference, diagnoses her with Rhabdo disease and, satisfied, hobbles away.

Unfortunately, a CT scan disproves House’s snappy diagnosis, and so the rest of the diagnostics team is left to deal with the patient while House is gone. The team goes through the usual hoops, juggling between a low potassium count, bulimia and Rickettsia (a fever-inducing disease contracted from dogs).

While the team slogs through various tests to determine a diagnosis that fits, House, Cuddy and Wilson arrive at their conference, where House is determined to do something about his feelings for Cuddy. His plans are sadly smashed when he finds that Cuddy is not alone in her room –- she’s with her new boyfriend, Lucas (Michael Weston), House’s private investigator from Season 5.

Returning to Princeton-Plainsboro, the team is struggling to find a diagnosis for their partier’s predicament. When the patient begins to bleed internally, the team loses direction and is unsure of the next step. Of course, at that exact instant, House, miles away, has what must now be called “the House moment,” and instantly realizes what’s wrong with the patient, who he’d only really inspected through telephone calls. He diagnoses her with a bad reaction to oysters she ate during her night cavorting, with the intense reaction due to genetic Hemachromatosis.

The episode closes with what we all really wanted to see: Chase and Cameron finally talking. Chase, with baited breath, finally tells Cameron that he was the cause of Dibala’s death. Cameron, horrified, backs away from Chase as the screen fades to black.

What Worked

The House-Cuddy tension has been a long-standing theme in House, and the curveball of Lucas’ return as Cuddy’s new boyfriend was something that no one saw coming.

What Didn’t

I’m aware that on TV shows, in many episodes where certain characters are not at the forefront of the plot, they fade into the background. The background, though, is not where Dr. Foreman belongs — it doesn’t suit his character’s personality.

Predictions

The open-ended ending with Cameron and Chase means that something big is going to happen; whether it’s an explosion between the two of them over Dibala or possibly something worse, we won’t know until next Monday.

What an odd, unexpected and totally pleasing tonal shift this season finale of Mad Men instigated. After 12 weeks of episodes that were steeped in anxiety and misery, this wacky exodus from Sterling-Cooper was the most lighthearted episode of the season.

The episode’s plot sort of reminded me of Ocean’s Eleven, with Sterling-Cooper-Draper-Price releasing themselves from their contracts and breaking out of Sterling-Cooper before the company could be sold off by PPL. Don heard the news from “Connie” Hilton, who told Don that his business would no longer be needed. Don was justifiably angered, accusing Connie of just using him. After Connie reminded Don that he was a self-made man and therefore did not feel bound to anyone, the two parted ways. I really hope Connie never reappears on the show. There are two types of unlikable characters: those whose crippling character flaws make them fascinating, and those who are just so obnoxious that you simply cannot deal with them unless they are suffering some type of comeuppance. Connie definitely falls in this latter camp (Pete Campbell is a great example of the former type of antagonist).

With Connie’s message, Don marched off on his mission to start a new company in which he would not have to be some cog in the machine and could instead focus on advertising. Of course, not even the great Don Draper can start a company alone, so he gathered an assortment of talented co-workers, with whom he was unfortunately not on the best terms. Don apologized to Roger, Pete and Peggy for behaving like such an ass for the past three seasons. All three ended up forgiving Don and agreeing to work with him, but not after they put up some resistance. Don’s visit to Peggy’s apartment was the best scene of the episode. Don explained his poor treatment of Peggy and vowed to change. Tearing up, Peggy asked Don if he would never speak to her again if she left the company. Don replied with one of the most powerful and touching sentiments I have ever heard: “No. I will spend the rest of my life trying to hire you.” Wow. After that line, I don’t think “I love you” really means much to me.

Not everyone was so willing to resume a life with Don, though. Betty demanded a divorce from Don in order to pursue a life with Henry Francis (all together now: “Why him?”) Even the divorce plot had its moments of humor (I love that Betty has no proof that Don committed adultery). Yet the dissolution of the Draper household was a heart-wrenching event to behold. Don came this close to becoming his father’s son by abusing Betty. In the end, Don assured Betty that he would not continue to fight her. Betty appeared touched by Don’s surrender, reminding him that he will always be the children’s father. As the episode closed, Betty, baby in tow, flew off to Reno to marry Henry. Sally and Bobby Draper were left with Carla, a woman more maternal and nurturing than Betty could ever hope to become.

Overall, I think the episode — and by association, the season — ended on an uplifting high. Don gets a fresh start, working along the best Sterling-Cooper had to offer (sorry, Paul and Ken). Though Joan’s return to her secretarial duties was expected, I was nonetheless ebullient when she walked onto the scene. I couldn’t help notice that the newly-formed Sterling-Cooper-Draper-Price ad agency is lacking an art director. I think that Don will have to give a certain former employee a gargantuan apology next season.

So what did you all think of this season? I liked it a lot, though I think season 2 was more entertaining and varied. Which do you like better: Mad Men the comedy of manners or Mad Men the harrowing drama? How do you think the Vietnam War will be incorporated into the show? Finally, do you think Don and Betty will ever get back together, or will Don move on to a more suitable match — like Peggy Olson, perhaps?

This week’s episode didn’t seem all that funny. At first I just thought it was because I was secretly hoping Abed would continue his Batman voice from last week’s high-larious episode (it was the only think I could bear to listen to during my Halloween hangover Sunday morning), but then I realized the writers of Community were making a pretty weak attempt to create a more serious, emotional episode.

The fatal flaw: they re-introduced why Jeff, who was a successful lawyer in another life until it became known his degree is fake, is even attending community college. Perhaps the writers thought the audience forgot how stupid (and not in a good way) the context of the show’s larger plot is. Trust me, it didn’t.

Jeff is the guy who has his shit together. He’s supposed to be apathetic and cynical simply because he can. But seeing him vulnerable after losing his apartment and specially crafted sink faucets was uncomfortable to watch. It wasn’t fun to realize his bedhead on this week’s episode was naturally unkempt, and not purposely styled with mousse to look disheveled (this was a good joke, but generally overused throughout the episode).

He actually reminded me of Annie, who is annoyingly pathetic, although it’s pretty clear that’s how viewers are supposed to feel about her. Each week I seem to lose a bit of sympathy for her. But Troy’s inability to think is still amusing, and is the only glue holding that story line together.

The Pierce/Vaughn rivalry provided most of the episode’s humor. I wasn’t expecting Britta’s ex to make another appearance, but I’m glad he did. Although his reemergence does beg the question, why will Britta date a clueless douche like Vaughn and not a savvy douche like Jeff? The guy didn’t know what Pierce meant by “Are you trying to Garfunkel me?”

Then again, in a sitcom comedy like Community, logic is not really a priority. But that doesn’t mean its entire plot is pointless. This week’s episode, although bland compared to the Halloween masterpiece and a few other golden episodes, had one of the most satisfying endings (second only to Britta and Jeff’s kiss a few show’s back): it really showed the diverse characters of the show coming together as a family. I dare say the closeness and even cuteness of their group dynamic rivals the cast of The Office, a show that has had six seasons to hone its relationships.

Next week, I’d like to see more of Shirley and Señor Chang. Also, Abed and Troy’s interaction needs to be reinstated for the closing credits disappointing; this week’s 30-second spot wasn’t worth waiting through the commercials. Overall, let’s hope the community of Community continues to develop; it’s what makes the show unique.

Episode four has Betty reeling over Daniel’s new assistant, Natalie from the grief support group (by the way—who called that makeover? Who called it?). Not only is it weird to see Natalie de-punked, polished and behind a desk, but as she and Betty later butt heads over Daniel, I find myself liking the woman less and less. It’s interesting that the writers decided to villainize her. Does this mean that no one will ever be able to replace Betty? How is the Mode hierarchy set up now that Betty’s no longer at the bottom? It is a new season, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, Daniel walks in on his mom making out with Cal Hartley (ick). Their recently rekindled flame puts Daniel and Claire on no-speaking terms. Imagine Daniel’s reaction when he finds out Claire and Cal are hiding an illegitimate half-brother from him. On that note—Daniel and Matt—potential stepbrothers in the works? And if Betty and Matt get married (stay with me here) is everyone on this show going to end up related?

Marc stands up to Wilhelmina in an uncharacteristically principled moment when she orders him to blackmail the detective threatening to take Nico down. He changes his mind when Wilhelmina comes out with the truth about the alleged murder. However, Nico and the “detective”—really her boyfriend Jonathan, alive and well—are the ones actually blackmailing Wilhelmina.

The episode culminates at Wilhelmina’s charity event for Tibetan orphans, where Betty proudly strolls into the room as her own plus-one, decked in an altered dress (the product of Justin’s Project Runway inspiration). At the event, Amanda stresses over how to tell Betty about her new feelings for Mark, knowing she might break Betty’s “pudgy little heart.”

Things we liked:

1. Betty’s newfound independence, manifested in her hitting the dance floor to “Dancing with Myself.” What a great Betty moment.
2. Betty’s leopard-print dress, actually taken from Hilda’s closet (Justin: “Mom, remember when you put on a little weight last spring?”).
3. Wilhelmina’s reaction to Daniel’s hug at the beginning of the episode. Who cares what the hug was about? I just love that woman and her face.

Things we didn’t like:

1. Natalie, obviously. She’s driving a wedge between Daniel and Betty, and she never leaves his side. What an annoying clinger. And what about those shady ulterior motives (thinking back to her mysterious phone call at the charity event)?
2. Nico becoming a mini-version of her mother. Come on now. There’s already one Wilhelmina Slater.
3. No Queens story lines. The Suarez household, in all its miscellaneous, misfitted, multicolored glory, is a place of great comfort that counteracts the fast-paced drama of Mode and Manhattan. Plus, I can practically smell Ignacio’s arroz con pollo through the screen.

Liz knows who she wants to be the newest “TGS” cast member. His name is Jayden and she must find a way for Jack to think he picked the kid out himself. Lucky for her, Pete’s got a plan, the “Hornberger System,” to surround him with three other carefully selected people Jack will not be able to stand. Their disappointment will be an unfortunate casualty of the audition process, but Liz is willing to pay that price.

While Liz continues to try to be a “robot” indifferent to people’s feelings as Jack suggested, Dot Com guilts her into letting him audition too—sending the office into a complete frenzy. Soon Frank demands an audition, Brian Williams gives Liz his best Italian accent and Tracey and Jenna take to the streets to find funny people from all over Manhattan to add to the chaos.

As Pete and Liz attempt to control the situation, Jack just can’t stop scratching himself. Kenneth brings to his attention that he has “the woodsman’s companion,” more commonly known as bed bugs. For the first time, Jack is pushed away by almost everyone. The other bigwigs at G.E. won’t let him come to their meetings or use the company car, people on the subway won’t tell him how to get on the right train so he can get his medicine and even a Latin-speaking Kenneth refuses to give him a hug!

When it comes time to get down to the auditioning, Jack decides to let everyone audition. Since he knows what it feels like to be at the bottom, he denounces his former inconsiderate and emotionless ways. So they see act after act and Liz comes to realize that Jayden is a phony. He did the voices for his own reference phone calls and tries to blackmail Liz into giving him the part. Ultimately, Jack decides to give the part to the only person who would shake his contaminated hand—a silver-painted, robot street performer that only makes whirring noises.

Quote of the evening:

Tracey: “Was describing your sandwich necessary to our understanding of what happened?”

I loved when Kristin and Lo were talking about Heidi’s party and then each would interject comments about Audrina’s laundry. Classic Hills. And Kristin and Brody walking on the beach; Kristin’s wearing a bikini, Brody’s saying, “It may just work out.” Could it get any more romantic?

And then Heidi’s party. First of all, the puppies were the most adorable things I’ve ever seen. I died a little when I saw them. Then Audrina entered. Awkward. So awkward. I felt uncomfortable watching it; I could feel the tension. Then Brody and Audrina went out on the porch to talk. Kristin standing in the background watching them was close to the scariest thing since the last Saw movie. She was a mixture of the girl from The Ring and the twins from The Shining. I feared for Brody and Audrina’s lives. Seriously. And then Kristin walked over to Audrina.

Okay, I have to say I’m on Kristin’s side. Audrina didn’t even give her the chance to talk things out at the beginning of the season. I didn’t really understand the conversation at Heidi’s party. Kristin kept trying to make amends and Audrina seemed deaf to it all. She just kept spewing random shit. It was strange, but also really exciting when Kristin finally wrote her off.

Kristin finally came to her senses the next morning. Wait, so Justin Bobby is actually what everyone’s been telling you he is? Hate to say I told you so.

JB should never speak again. Everything he says is uttely pointless, infantile or extremely dubious. He asked Kristin, “Can you just mellow out?” No, Justin. Not all of us are on drugs 24/7. Some of us actually care about life. I love when he told Kristin that what she was saying just “pushes [him] away.” Duh. That’s the point. Peace out, brotha. Please leave the show now.

Next week: Brody and Kristin are back together. Love it. Jade and Kristin get in a bitchfight. Love it more. This episode will be epic.

Final verdict: Lo said, “Totes McGotes.” My life is complete.

One of the questions that has lingered in my mind since the beginning of Mad Men was how the show would handle the JFK assassination, arguably the biggest news story of the decade. Now that the event has come to pass, I am pleased that the creative forces behind the show tackled the subject matter with signature wit, style, and intelligence.

I think that it wasn’t until fifteen or twenty minutes into the episode that JFK’s death was first referenced. The first third of the episode centered on Pete’s disappointment at losing the position of Senior Vice President of Accounts (or some important position like that) to Ken Cosgrove, and Margaret Sterling’s pre-wedding tantrum regarding her new stepmother’s expensive wedding gift. In the wake of JFK’s assassination, these individual conflicts were revealed as pointless and mundane — though Margaret missed out on any such insight. In the one humorous scene of an otherwise tragic episode, Margaret sat in front of the television in her wedding dress, sobbing “It’s ruined!”

Contrary to Margaret’s declaration, the wedding was not completely ruined. The newlyweds tied the knot and a few tables were filled. Roger’s wife Jane got drunk once again and he found solace by calling Joan after the wedding. Pete decided not to go to the wedding, telling his wife Trudy that attending all of these functions would be pointless in the wake of a national tragedy. I’m skeptical about the motives behind Pete’s prioritization here. I’m confident that Pete was just using the assassination as a justification for his earlier whining and threats that he was going to leave the company. On the other hand, I might be blinded by my (completely warranted, in my opinion) prejudices against Pete.

The most significant consequence of the JFK assassination for the Mad Men universe was undoubtedly the destruction of the Draper marriage. Betty’s shock at the death of the president left her feeling like she was on a totally tenuous foundation. Just as she is being overwhelmed by insecurities, in walks Henry. This man doesn’t want casual sex from Betty. He wants to marry her and take her to see Singin’ In the Rain. Compared to Don’s monotone reassurances to Betty and his insistence that she drown her grief in sleep, Henry really appeared to be the ideal husband. This image made it all the more believable that Betty would be so willing to desert her husband and family.

After sharing an intimate encounter with Henry in a parking lot, Betty came home to tell Don those four little words: “I don’t love you.” Hearing those words hit me like a punch to the stomach. Naturally, Don felt even worse. The episode ended with Don leaving for work without even speaking to Betty. In the nearly empty building (Peggy was still there), Don walked into his office to pour himself a drink. With that last shot, Don Draper looked like the loneliest man on Earth.

The season finale is next week. I have my predictions for this season’s cliff-hanger (though she is a major character in the show, I still have this feeling that Betty is going to commit suicide); what are yours?