Don’t be that guy. Photo by Ariana Bacle / North by Northwestern.

Disclaimer: If you are this kid, don’t get offended. Pick up some tips and maybe everyone will hate you a little bit less.

He walks in to your lecture wearing a button-down that fits in all the right places. He pulls out the chair right next to you, sets down his backpack. Your heart skips a beat. Smooth skin, big brown eyes, great smile. You imagine your future together. Then, he opens his mouth.

We attend a school that houses and contributes to the knowledge of numerous talented young people. I acknowledge this. I have met some of the most extraordinary people since I arrived here a little over one year ago. However, I’d be lying if I told you that I haven’t sat through lectures in which I have felt the urge to do terrible things (not sexually) to classmates that have exhibited their fair share of arrogance. I’m sure you have too (though I’m not going to speak on your behalf about the sexual thing). I’ve enclosed some tips to help you identify, or identify with, some of the most common characteristics of “that kid.”

Here’s a question for you: who cares? Photo by Ariana Bacle / North by Northwestern.

Completely Irrelevant Question Kid:
“In the year 2094, during the process of star formation, approximately how much time does it take, in seconds, for the core to counter gravity if it’s temperature only reaches 9,987,999 degrees Kelvin? In Spanish? Backwards?”

Honey, no one understands what you are asking. Will this information ever pertain to you at any point in your life? If you do happen to feel strongly and have great passion regarding your absurdly intricate question, go to office hours; you’re making everyone upset.

Will This Question Be on the Quiz? Kid:
“Will this question be on the test? What about this one? And this one? And this one that you didn’t ask but I’m inferring will be on the exam?”

You’ve asked it once. You’ve asked it twice, okay. Again? You’ve got to be kidding. If it’s said in lecture, it’s fair game on any assessment. I appreciate the sentiment and understand you may be trying to help your fellow classmates, but ask it one more time and it’s safe to infer that the exam won’t be your only problem in the class.

“Pick me! Pick me!” Photo by Ariana Bacle / North by Northwestern.

Overzealous Hand-Raising Kid:
Enough said.

We assume you know the answer. We see your hand. Everyone does. I am sincerely sorry that no one is calling on you, because you know the answer. Wait, do you know the answer? I got completely distracted by the way you have been frantically waving your hand back and forth for the past forty-five seconds. Give your arm a rest, bud. We’ll let you get the next one.

I’m Smarter than the Professor (and Your Mother) Kid:
“Can you prove that, Professor? My extensive research as an eighteen-year-old college student straight out of high school is suspicious of your knowledge on the subject at hand.”

Dude, I’m sure you’re brilliant and graduated first in your class. And believe me, I know that professors make their fair share of mistakes during lecture. But, in all actuality, his B.A., Ph.D and MBA are likely more credible than your 11th grade AP U.S. History class. So, shut your mouth, open your ears and expand your horizons.

I Think I’m Whispering But I’m Really Not Kid:
“Can you believe she even asked that question? It’s so stupid it doesn’t even warrant an answer. Is she even in the right classroom? I mastered that concept in eighth grade.”

EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU. I’m truly sorry that I answered the previous question incorrectly. I understand it now. I just needed a little more time. If you feel the need to feed your superiority complex with snarky comments, quiet down. Or text, gchat, or Facebook message your friend about how dense I am regarding X-bar theory.

If you had no difficulty identifying with three or more of the aforementioned faux pas, chances are you are that kid. Just kidding.

But seriously.

1. The Couples’ Retreat: Door County, Wisconsin

Voted the best Wisconsin romantic getaway destination by Corporate Report Wisconsin Magazine, Door County is known for its natural beauty, fine dining, shopping, art scene and outdoor activities. Situated on the water, it’s also famous for its romantic sunsets. “Numerous locally owned restaurants, cafes and ice cream stores that become tradition and lack of any commercialized business make it a true get away to relax and spend time with friends and family,” Communication sophomore Mari Baker says. “Along with the atmosphere, there always tends to be a disconnect with TV and the Internet as well, which is very refreshing.”

Approximate cost: $335 for two people over two nights, plus gas.

Distance from Northwestern: 4 hours 15 minutes

How to get there: Car

Where to stay: Colonial Gardens Bed and Breakfast’s Quiet Rose Room

For two nights, you and your honey can live in luxury — that is, a flowery room with a fireplace and a full breakfast delivered to your room every morning. There’s no phone, so the two of you will truly be away from it all. (Don’t worry, the hotel has Wi-Fi.)

What to eat: Inn at Cedar Crossing

Serving traditional American fare such as pasta, steak and fish, this cozy restaurant is perfect for a romantic night out.

What to do: Although Door County’s major tourism season is summer, there’s plenty to do in the snow besides curling up by the fire. Go snowshoeing and enjoy the winter scenery or go on the ultimate date — see a movie at the Drive-In.

2. The Outdoor Escape: Rent a cabin at Hickory Hideaway

If you’re looking to really rough it, get a group of four friends together to rent a cabin in the woods and go into the wild.

Approximate cost: $350 for the cabin, split between four people evens out to about $90 a person, plus extra cost for gas and food.

Distance from Northwestern: 2 hours

How to get there: Car

What to eat: You’ll have to bring your own hot dogs, chips and potato salad, but the cabins are equipped with all the kitchen essentials — stove, fridge, microwave and silverware, as well as a fire pit and charcoal grill.

What to do: If you’re not soaking in the hot tub in Hickory Hideaway’s club house, singing songs around the campfire or playing games inside, you could be out exploring the winter wilderness — and the area is surrounded by hiking trails.

3. The Urban Jungle: St. Louis, Missouri

If Chicago isn’t enough for city-loving students, take the Greyhound to St. Louis and sight-see, eat and wander the streets of an unfamiliar city.

Approximate cost: About $150 a person, depending on food choices and attraction fees.

Distance from Northwestern: 5 hours

How to get there: A Greyhound round-trip ticket costs $44 a person.

Where to stay: Try the Best Western or any other cheap chain hotel.

What to eat: For the penny pincher, Tom’s Bar and Grill offers cheap and delicious bar food.

For the big spender, go all-out at Top of the Riverfront, a classy restaurant with a gorgeous view.

What to do: Everything! Go see the sights such as the Arch, or just walk through the city looking at shops and people-watching. A great winter activity in this city is ice skating at the Steinberg Ice Rink, the Midwest’s largest outdoor ice rink. You can also check out the City Museum, which is a unique conglomeration of art, science and industry, as well as a nice way to get out of the snow. “The City Museum is basically a place to be a little kid again,” Weinberg freshman Megan Barstead says.

4. The Kitschy Good Time: Wisconsin Dells

If the prospect of leaving studying behind to visit the world’s largest indoor water park doesn’t excite you, you should probably reassess your life. Rent a three-bedroom condo with room for 12 people and access to Kalahari water park. “The Kalahari is awesome because the slides there tend to be more extreme, with water that shoots hard so you can go uphill and even a giant toilet bowl,” Medill freshman Danielle Moehrke says.

Approximate cost: The 3-Bedroom Condo Adventure package includes a three-bedroom condo for 12, admission to the water park, two large pizzas and soda, and two in-room movies, all for $500-$700. Split between 12, the most you’ll pay is $60 a person, plus gas and food money.

How to get there: Car

Distance from Northwestern: About five hours

What to do: Swim!

1. A bigger penis automatically means more pleasure.


A lot of guys are insecure about their penis size. Duh. Many guys also forget that average penis size is about 5 inches when erect (although there’s some debate about this. But most studies come up with figures from 5-5.4 inches). And while penis size can be a fun locker room conversation (or contest), most girls care less about the size and more about the technique in bed. In fact, size shouldn’t even really matter to women. When aroused, the vagina extends to about 4 inches long, but can lengthen more if pressure is induced, meaning that most vaginas can accommodate themselves to any length penis. So no matter how big you are, it’s really all about what you do and how willing you are to please your partner. And practice makes perfect!

2. You can predict the size of a man’s penis by his shoe size


On the subject of penis size, a lot of people are under the impression that they can tell the size of a man’s penis by his shoe size. If only it were that easy, girls. A University College Hospitals study examined this question and found that there’s no relation between shoe size and penis size. You’re just going to have to get him to take off his pants if you want to know that badly.

3. If a woman doesn’t get wet, it means she’s not aroused


You’re getting hot and heavy and she seems into it, but when you reach down to give her some attention down there, she’s not wet at all. Does this mean she’s not into you? No, not at all. When a woman gets aroused, her heart rate and blood pressure increase. Also, sexual areas can become engorged with blood, meaning the clitoral shaft gets bigger, the labia majora separate and the labia minora enlarge. Some women produce a lot of lubrication, and some produce hardly any, according to the UC Santa Barbara SexInfo site. So even if she’s dry down there, her heart’s probably pounding, and she’s just as horny as her guy. Just have some lube on hand to make things more comfortable!

4. If a woman doesn’t orgasm, she didn’t enjoy the sex


It’s hard for a woman to reach orgasm during sex. While most researchers now agree that the g-spot does exist, only about 30 percent of women climax regularly. That means that most women who experience orgasms do so through clitoral stimulation. You can do this with your hands, your mouth, a sex toy or even dry sex. But intercourse itself makes it hard to rub the clitoris. So even if your girl isn’t one of those lucky 30 percent, she still probably likes having sex or she wouldn’t continue to do it. It still feels good to many women, especially if they have a close relationship with their partner. That being said, most women still won’t object to foreplay during which they can orgasm. So try some kissing, rubbing, fingering or licking to watch her go wild.

5. Women can’t ejaculate.


And you thought only men could do it. When there is direct stimulation to the g-spot and a woman orgasms (it’s hard but doable!), sometimes women release fluid. This can be embarrassing, and because of a lack of awareness of female ejaculation, women can mistake this for urine. Women do ejaculate through the urethra, like men, and their fluid is made up of the same substances as men’s (minus sperm). Not all women will ejaculate, but if things get extra wet down there during sex, don’t worry, she just came.

So now you know. A smaller penis can cause a woman to ejaculate too, a larger penis won’t always do the job, sex without orgasm is still worth it, and your new love interest’s size 14 shoes don’t mean anything. Sex is fun, kids. Go out and have it.

1. Do not take the road less traveled
Stick to well-lit, well-traveled areas. You have a better chance of seeing a potential attacker and if you’re, say, near the library rather than all the way past the fraternity quads. And if it’s spooky (and it’s not Halloween), either avoid the area or take other people with you.

2. Telephone is more than just a game
Know the locations of emergency telephones, both on and off campus. They are the ones with the blue lights.

3. Trust your instincts
“If you feel a situation that you’re encountering may be dangerous, change directions, cross the street, [or] go into a public place like a store,” McAleer says.

4. Spice it up
If you have a can of pepper spray or mace, be sure you know how to use it. A can of pepper spray with a key ring on it is useful because it is always at hand so long as you have your keys. But having an extra weapon to use against an attacker won’t help if you don’t know how to use it. Practice taking the pepper spray out and mime spraying it at someone. But McAleer warns not just to rely on the pepper spray.

“You have to understand that it’s not always effective,” he says. “In other words, wind direction could blow the mace back or the pepper spray back and incapacitate you rather than the attacker. And the offender, if you’re not use to utilizing it, may wrestle that from your hands, and use it as an additional weapon against you.”

***

A can of pepper spray can be supplemented by other techniques. Run, if you can. Don’t confront the attacker. He or she may be stronger than you and could have a concealed weapon. If there is anyone around, tell them what happened. McAleer says to never be afraid of yelling, asking someone for help, or notifying the police.

“Don’t wait. Don’t ask somebody if I should call the police,” he said. “If anybody ever tells you you shouldn’t have called the police when we’re talking about these circumstances, that’s not right. The police are there for [these] situations.”

If you’d like to know specific self-defense moves, University Police offer a free Rape Aggression Defense (R.A.D) class for women every Saturday and Sunday at Patten. Go to the University Police website to register or learn more.

Now after a few weeks of alone time, you’re ready to embrace all the things that once bothered you about her: irregular breathing at night, a proclivity to tailgate and use high beams, using “like” in every other sentence. This long-distance thing was supposed to introduce a sense of maturity into your relationship, but now you just want to go back to the we-finally-press-our-noses-close-enough day.

Whether she’s the right one or not, you’d like to remind her that in spite of the quarter system’s best attempts, you still spend a large part of your day thinking about her. Emails are easy to ignore and your already frequent phone calls will soon risk descending into passive aggressive territory.

An alternative option, suggests one of the many to go missing in action away from campus, is to send a simple care package. This form of snail mail will induce warm fuzzy feelings in your significant other and those in her sharing circle.

What type of item would you include to maximize that I (definitely…maybe) love you message? As with many things, this is entirely dependent on your significant other’s personality type. To wit:

The Social Butterfly

Invest in a doorstop. Obviously, you don’t want her chatting all night with those guys down the hall. But without one of these, they’ll keep knocking even when she’s busy writing you that long-pending email. Also, maintaining relationships are difficult enough. The last thing you need is that constant third presence in your phone calls.

A moss terrarium — with toadstools and gnomes! Photo by blithegardens on Etsy.

The Brown Thumb Gardener

Does your partner love plants, but tend to leave them neglected on the apartment heater? Did she start off with orchids, regress to childproof cacti and finally wander off for cut flowers instead? Send her a moss terrarium garden-in-a-jar creation featured on Etsy.com. If you want to be extra cheesy, imply that your love for her is like the flower she keeps killing. Just make sure you package this one carefully.

The Barefoot Contessa

Gorilla Feet. Photo by XWRN on Flickr.

You know those gorgeous legs of hers? Encourage your significant other’s propensity to walk everywhere. That being said, is she torn between wearing uncomfortable blister-inducing flats and just traversing unpaved roads in bare feet? If you thought cold toes were unpleasant, try callused ones.

Stuff your care package with a pair of gorilla feet shoes from the Vibram Five Fingers line. Light, toe-conforming and machine washable, these are circulating through couch surfing backpacker groups.

The Internet Addict

If your significant other isn’t always careful with her laptop, a keyboard cover may be the perfect item. She won’t have to worry about that cup of coffee balanced precariously on stacks of textbooks.

Make things more interesting by sending one in the Dvorak simplified setup. Designed to address inefficiency and hand cramping, the keys are placed so that the user can type faster than anyone with the traditional QWERTY format. It takes some time to learn, but nothing is sexier than a challenge…right?

The Penny Pincher

Forking over $50,000 a year for tuition doesn’t always allow for large package deliveries across the Atlantic. For the significant other who understands that you’d rather not spend more on postage than on the contents inside, try for a package-stuffer light enough that a Kellogg study will pay for the journey.

Socks are underrated gifts both practical and wallet-friendly. Any opportunity to space out laundry days will be much appreciated. At the risk of being labeled anal-retentive, anyone considering the gorilla-feet shoes can match them perfectly with toe socks?

While your significant other might not say it out loud, he or she probably likes the way you smell. So another option would be to douse one of your nicer jerseys with cologne and sleep well at night knowing that it’s being worn all the time.

And if your care package really must make it abroad in the form of a normal-sized envelope, fear not. Clip a couple of your partner’s favorite comic strips from a weeks’ worth of newspapers or tear out a couple of great New Yorker stories. You’d be surprised by how many people abroad search in vain for used bookstores carrying works written in English.

Everyone Else

The most important part of the care package should be a long (read: long) letter explaining how fabulous your significant other is and how this distance is impossibly difficult, but be sure it doesn’t come off seeming like a mail-order guilt-trip. The letter should be engaging enough to reread over and over and over.

If you’ve done your job real well, your package may appear in photo-form on everyone’s Facebook News Feed updates. Who knows? You might find yourself the leader of an ever-growing ad hoc group of post-office pilgrims.

Fast-forward a few years. While getting ready for a first date, you catch a glimpse of a planetary-sized pimple that definitely was not there a few hours ago. Didn’t your parents say acne would clear up when you got to college? Then why are you calling your date to cancel at the last minute because you’re “not feeling well?”

If you think your situation is just bad luck, think again. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, about 50 percent of women and 42 percent of men in their 20s suffer the dermatological strife of bad acne.

“More women than men have acne into their adult lives,” says Melissa Raue, a Connecticut physician assistant. “It’s due to a surge in hormones, testosterone specifically.”

Raue, who is licensed to treat and prescribe medication under the supervision of Dr. Kenneth Egan, says that many sources of adolescent acne, such as shedding too many skin cells and hormone imbalances, also contribute to adult acne.

While hormones are certainly a factor, bad skin can also be attributed to lifestyle. Alleviating the appearance of pimples may be as simple as tweaking your diet. When blood sugar levels increase, the sebaceous glands attached to hair follicles release sebum, an oily substance that clogs pores. Simple carbohydrates such as white rice, pasta, bread and sugar cause spikes in blood sugar levels, meaning those bowls of spaghetti and ice cream you had for dinner last night could be the reason for that pimple on your forehead.

Unfortunately, when you’re living on a meal plan, it is easier to find these acne-causing foods than foods high in vitamin B5. A deficiency in B5 can lead to breakouts, so if you’re really looking to clear up your skin, pile up your plate with whole grains, legumes and eggs. In addition, avoid fried foods and fatty meats; they might be delicious, but they also slow your digestive system, thereby increasing the body’s toxin levels.

The type of cleanser you use also makes a difference. Avoid alcohol-based astringents and toners, and instead opt for face wash that is appropriate for your skin type. Not sure what skin type you are? Take this quiz to find out.

For some people, however, a healthy diet and daily face washing are not enough; that’s where over-the-counter and prescription medications can help.

Benzoyl Peroxide:

Use it for: Mild acne (pimples, zits and blackheads)
Found in: Clearasil, Brevoxyl and Benzac
Side Effects: May cause skin to peel

Salicylic Acid:

Use it for: Mild to moderate acne
Found in: Propa pH and Stridex
Side Effects: Because it dries up blemishes, skin may become irritated.

Topical Retinoid Medicine:

Use it for: Moderate to severe acne
Found in: Retin-A, Differin and Tazorac
Side Effects: Sensitivity to the sun and dry skin may occur.

Oral Antibiotic:

Use it for: Severe acne
Found in: Tetracycline, Doxycycline and Amoxicillin
Side Effects: Increased sun sensitivity, mild nausea, and decreases the effectiveness of the Pill. Not recommended for pregnant women. Additionally, the body may build up a resistance to antibiotics, negating its effectiveness.

Isotretinoin

Use it for: Severe cystic acne unresponsive to oral antibiotics
Found in: Accutane
Side Effects: Causes life-threatening birth defects, so sexually active patients must use two forms of birth control. More common side effects include extremely dry and cracked skin, joint pain, and dizziness. Other, more serious side effects include sudden numbness, blurred vision, loss of appetite, hearing pains, vomiting and diarrhea, flu-like symptoms, and depression.

While these medications can help treat breakouts, there are some drugs that have the opposite effect. According to Raue, chemicals like lithium, found in mood disorder medications, can contribute to adult acne.

“When we see somebody who suddenly has acne, it’s usually an outside source that is causing it.” Raue says. “Still, some people who get adult acne never had [it] as a teenager, and the opposite is true as well.”

Let’s face it, there is no tried and true method for clearing up zits, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try. Simple lifestyle changes can go a long way in making your face appear clearer and fresher. You’re not in high school anymore, so leave those prom night horror stories behind and go on that first date feeling like the confident college student you are.

Bake some potatoes at your next participatory dinner. Photo by traveling.lunas on Flickr, licensed under the Creative Commons.

While I love cooking for my friends, multiple dinner parties a month doesn’t really do wonders for my bank account. Though potlucks are great in theory, they can often be hard to organize on the spot and are better left for when you have time to plan them out. And so I’ve found that the happy medium is what I like to call participatory dinners. You make one or two dishes that your guests can contribute to in some way by bringing an ingredient of their choice. You provide the theme and let them do the choosing. I’ve had participatory dinners with pizza, ice cream and quesadillas, to name a few, but my latest conquest is potatoes.

Oh, potatoes. They’re so versatile and yet so, well, boring. Or at least that’s what I used to think. And then I saw this Idaho potatoes commercial, and perhaps I was a little delirious because I was battling the swine flu, but damn, did those potatoes look good! They were baked to crisp and golden perfection and topped with a mountain of different garnishes from sour cream to cheese to scallions to bacon. Then came the “aha” moment — a baked potato participatory dinner! It’s cheap at $1.49/pound for potatoes at Whole Foods Evanston, it’s easy and you can dress those baked babies up in any which way.

The Plan

Figure out how many people are coming to your dinner and budget one large Idaho or Russet potato per person, plus a few extra in case there are any mishaps or particularly hungry eaters. You will be in charge of baking all the potatoes and providing a few of the basic toppings, like butter, sour cream and chopped bacon, since that requires cooking. Tell your friends to bring a topping or two of their choosing.

How to Bake a Potato

There are a million different recipes for how to bake a potato, and the end result varies slightly. Here’s my recipe and feel free to tweak it to your liking:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and make sure that one of the racks is directly in the middle of your oven.
2. Wash and scrub each potato thoroughly with water, and fully dry.
3. Use a fork to pierce holes in the potato to allow some of the steam to escape.
4. Lightly coat the exterior of each potato with olive oil and sprinkle generously with salt.
5. Place each potato on the middle rack(s) of your oven, and try your best to evenly space them.
6. Bake for approximately one hour until the skin is crisp and the potato is very tender to the touch.

Topping Suggestions

You should encourage your friends to be creative, but you can also make some recommendations about what to bring. Here are a few ideas:

• Shredded cheese: Cheddar and Monterey Jack are crowd pleasing faves, but most sharp and tangy cheeses will do.
• Fresh herbs: Herbs with a bite like scallions or chives are my favorite, but cilantro, parsley and tarragon also work well.
• Spreadable cheeses: My favorite way to eat a baked potato is with a slathering of Boursin cheese. Flavored cream cheeses and Laughing Cow cheese also taste delicious when paired with your spud.
• Chopped vegetables: Chopped tomatoes, chopped steamed broccoli, chopped olives, chopped artichoke hearts and chopped avocado are all great.
• Salsa and/or guacamole
• Some funky options: alfalfa sprouts, hummus, toasted sunflower seeds, pesto, blue cheese dressing, chopped sun-dried tomatoes.

Serving Suggestions

While one baked potato per person is filling, I’d recommend that you have something else just to give your guests a little variety. Throw together a simple salad to pair alongside or whip up a batch of brownies to end your starch fest on a sweet note.

So how far can straight guys take personal grooming without being considered too feminine?

If you use an arsenal of beauty products, you won’t be impressing the ladies. Photo by jordanfischer on flickr, licensed under the Creative Commons.

Early in the decade, the emergence of the term “metrosexual” gave straight men more license to engage in some of the activities women do to keep up physical appearances. Males getting facials and manicures became more acceptable. But if a male student at Northwestern got a manicure, what would his peers think?

“I find it moderately feminine to use beauty products and I do judge guys who use them,” Weinberg sophomore Matthew Dunlap said. “I think things like shampoo and lotion are the only acceptable products.”

Generally, any product that is scented, sparkly, or goes beyond simply maintaining a decent level of hygiene might be considered off-limits to guys. Applying standard ChapStick is manly. Applying gloss is not. Showering with two in one shampoo/conditioner is manly. Showering with White Nectarine and Pink Coral Flower Herbal Essences Shampoo is decidedly not. Though certain products aren’t specifically for women, the way they are advertised has a lot to do with whether or not a guy will use them.

Skincare lines like Lab Series market products specifically to men, letting them spruce up without the embarrassment of having to purchase a package that looks like it should contain a My Little Pony.

“I think it’s important to educate men that its okay to look after their skin,” said Richard Sawyer, spokesperson for Lab Series. “Lab Series products are targeted to men’s specific skincare needs and concerns. We don’t make products for women, only men. We can accurately target what men want and ask for in skincare products.”

But makeup, often taboo for men outside of the theater department, is a tougher sell. The glittery pink packages characteristic of Benefit Cosmetics aren’t exactly welcoming to guys looking to avoid Clay Aiken status.

“Some of our skin treatments have a little bit of a male following,” said Kate Mulcahey, an employee at the Benefit store in Evanston. “As far as a men’s line, we don’t have anything strictly geared towards men.”

Though she says guys don’t come into the store unless they are with girlfriends or fiancées, Mulcahey thinks there’s nothing wrong with guys taking a little more initiative in terms of their personal appearances.

“Grooming-wise, I think they should absolutely use skincare,” she says. “I’ve had boyfriends in the past that have used my concealer. Guys get zits too.”

Some attention to grooming is actually appreciated. While guys who groom about as much as Andrew W.K. would never be considered effeminate, they would also never be considered sanitary, either. And no girl will be attracted to a guy who smells like the seductive mix of vomit and Chinese food (eau de Bobb).

“In general, guys do pretty well in the hygiene department if they smell clean, have non-greasy hair, and don’t have an oil wells on their faces,” Communication sophomore Sarah Rosenak said. “I think guys should stick to basic products geared mostly towards good hygiene, such as deodorant, shampoos, face wash, lotions if necessary, and cologne to top it off.”

The consensus seems to be that guys are allowed to keep clean, but when they start getting creative with the products they use for upkeep, peers start getting creative with the insults. To avoid being likened to Ryan Seacrest, guys have to find the right balance somewhere between manicures and mange.