News You Can’t Use will help you when the economy can’t

Turns out poker isn’t gambling and ex-cons really do like jail.

Wall Street gurus need retraining, dog-cloning gets easier, and other news you can’t use

If you thought falling asleep in class was bad, try doing it at a G-7 conference.

News You Can’t Use sneaks up on science and is completely creeped out

Discussing the terrifying nature of science and Tickle Me Elmo.

News You Can’t Use fought the law and the law won

We live in a world of forgetful police, one-eyed men and bypassed amendments.

News You Can’t Use is recession-proof

Not even a 500 point drop in the stock market can stop some businessmen.

So, about that European sophistication…

So, about that European sophistication…

The guy who made a robot to kill himself

And other strange news.

Let them eat cake, and irony lives

If a felon baked you a cake, would you eat it?

Why you’ll want your computer to feel regret, and other weird news

Kidnap victims, cocaine addicts and computers alike experience regret.

The first strip club for vegans, and other headlines

Get a taste of a new marketing strategy and learn what makes a strip club vegan.

Quit grinning if you can — it’s bad for your health

Smiling, along with everything else you’ve ever enjoyed, proven bad for your health.

NYCU is back, back again

It’s been two weeks since the last NYCU, but it’s still totes awesome.

Charities profit from people’s failures, and other headlines

A Czech woman poses as a young girl (and boy), universities expect students in class on Fridays, and more.

Malaysian minister sex tape, and other headlines

Malaysia turns out a sex tape to give Paris Hilton a run for her money, Portugal also has incompetent government workers, and more.

News Presidential candidates you can’t use

The strangest presidential candidates you’ll find.

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