This is American Idol!
By the way, Emily, you were right. David messed up. But kid didn’t stop. Of course, at that point, how can you? But still, fake it like you got it. Or if you got it, just flaunt it. But either way, somebody needs to believe you got it.
Alright, now for the rundown. And, as always, SPOILERS!
“All I Ask Of You” from The Phantom of the Opera was the opening song with Andrew Lloyd Webber on piano. ALW sang along for a while, but then realized he was on camera and stopped. For once, it wasn’t absolutely awful to listen to.
As a side note, someone needs to tell Brooke to cool it with the Tardive Dyskinesia.
Once again Ford enlists the Idols for a really bad commercial. Is this one Heroes inspired? Or maybe just ridiculously comic book. Because this is FOX and we only promote undeserving, terrible FOX shows. Except I’m really contradictory because here I am watching a FOX show…and I liked Arrested Development.
Idol checked up on some of its alumni. Tamyra Gray is on Broadway, starring in Rent. Clay Aiken is now in Spamalot. I never liked Clay. The creepiness of his single was too much to handle. That whole “If I was invincible I’d make you mine tonight” and the theme of invisibility? Can you say rape?
Leona Lewis performed on the stage. I absolutely love Leona, but her single is awful. And of course she performed that “Bleeding Love” nonsense. I really want her to bleed out and quit complaining. Someone call time of death on this single I can’t escape. Anyway, at least she looks great. I love the heels and neutral dress. She also sounds good. She’s very talented, but she needs to quit letting people shank her. And then the lack of interview with Seacrest. Talk Leona, talk. Shame. She will never be America’s Next Top Model.
More side notes. As if it wasn’t bad enough that America got it wrong tonight with the bottom two tandem of Syesha and Carly, but Ryan once again has to go above and beyond the call of duty by succeeding at being a jerk. He makes both the girls feel pretty secure and safe only to send them of to the silver discs that don’t really qualify as chairs. And those producers. Of course they did the pairing of the girls with the people who deserved to be in the bottom two. Now there’s some shock value for you. They’re like Howard Stern, they’re so shocking.
“Now forward I’m going to have some fun.” Except that she won’t.
The final moments:
Brooke looks totally shocked to be safe. And she should be. Ridiculous.
I love Simon’s explanations for why the right people weren’t sent home. “You made yourself human.” That’s why Brooke was safe? Seriously? Singing freaking competition. Not competition to see whose blood bleeds the reddest and matches most of the population. And Castro is “charming”? He can’t form sentences to save his life. It’s charming to watch his temple go into overdrive as he tries to remember words like “yes” and “thank you”?
Bed pan stool sitters of the night:
Okay, seriously? The bottom 2 was absolutely ridiculous. Brooke and Jason should have been there. How does this happen? America, stop snorting cocaine with Kate Moss.
As a last note, I really loved Carly’s “Simon Loves Me (this week)” shirt. It really sucks that I won’t be able to see that next week.
I’m peacing out pretty much feeling all “Voldemort, the world is against me” angry. Well, not really, but I’m certainly not happy. Carly, go be amazing. You should have been in the top three on this show, but I’m pretty sure you’ll outsell the winner anyway. Good day, America.