…is my running streak for nights gone out. There was an article put out in The Onion a while back that referenced those of us studying abroad as actually ‘dicking around abroad’. So true. I’ve written a lot about drunken revelry in London (sometimes whilst intoxicated), but this time I thought I’d give you a rundown of the joints I’ve been hitting up lately. Who knows? You too may choose to study abroad and follow in my (stumbling) footsteps.
Monday: Moonlighting a.k.a. “Moonies”
UCL (University College London, where I go to school here) has about five or six different versions of the Keg, all spaced out around central London. Each of these Kegs has its own Monday night which is both convenient and deadly. Moonies gets the Monday slot and is unmatched in shitty-ness, sweatiness and sleaziness: packed to the brim with ‘freshers’ legally allowed to drink but still wiping off the grime of their teenage years. Imagine your middle school dances but with drunk middle schoolers. Why do I go? I mean come on do you really go to these places for a classy night free from disease? Hell no, you go to get f**ked up.
Tuesday: Sports Cafe
I am to be found at this place literally every single Tuesday night. Without fail. Why? For the love of one majestic game: beer pong. Believe it or not, beer pong isn’t revered here as it is back home. So when I wanna get a little taste of the American college life (or I want to watch real football), I go here. It should be noted, however, that you will leave your dignity and inhibitions outside. I have extensive experience in exploring this notion.
Wednesday: Barrio Central, The Roxy and the Debacle That Ensued
One of the lost gems of Soho is Barrio Central: a south-of-the-border themed joint populated by swell bartenders and swanky socialites, all of whom drink and salsa the night away downing some of the best tequila in London (I dare say, perhaps all of Europe). It is for this reason alone that you go to Barrio. Also because there’s a solid chance that afterward you’ll end up at a place infinitely less cool. Like the Roxy.
The Roxy is Moonies only it’s slightly cleaner and it’s open till 7 a.m. (not like you should really be spending THAT much time there). Unfortunately on this particular Wednesday my ‘mates’ and I couldn’t get through the queue. So we crossed the street to this untested establishment named Club 47. But that failed too, not because of the queue, but because one of the bouncers wouldn’t let my (drunk) friend in. I tried reasoning with the man but all I got was a “Oh, you’re an American aren’t you?” To say that that line set me off is a drastic understatement: I was blood-boiling infuriated. A heated verbal argument followed that resulted in an encounter with Scotland Yard, but years of bullshitting paid off and I avoided deportation (yet again).
Thursday: The Euston Flyer
Probably the tamest night of my week, a few hallmates and I went to watch a (English) football match at a local pub. There is no better way to watch football than with a pint in front of you and impassioned and intoxicated fans around you. ‘Tis truly an all-English experience.
Friday: The Book Club
If I had to pick a favorite club, this would be it. I could write a novel on why I love this place but I’ll just list the talking points:
- Downstairs is a typical dance floor with atypical dancing music. I’m talking French D.J.’s spinning classic Motown and Swing with some edgy hip-hop/house beats to back it up. The combination is the ‘dirty girl scout’ of musical inventions.
- Upstairs you have a chill lounge where you can actually hear what the person next to you is saying. Have a fun, flirty conversation with both the bohemian and the chic while sipping some lustful cocktail like the Pear Crumble or one of my favorites, the Shoreditch Twat.
- But perhaps you don’t like to dance to amazing music or fanciful cocktails ain’t up your alley. Then get this: there’s a ping pong table. In a club. No joke. I scored a bottle of champagne for me and my friends thanks to that thing.
Saturday: The Den
I went to this place on a whim with a couple of friends. London doesn’t boast very many late-late-night venues, but this is one of them that I must visit again. Not exactly the most wallet-friendly place in the world, but the underground vibe is pretty awesome and the crowd very attractive. I should also mention that they host Thai Beach Parties every week. The most scantily-clad get in for free.
Sunday: Sports Cafe (again)/the floor below me
Okay, so I repeated one place this past week and the floor below me doesn’t necessarily count but I have good reason for counting Sunday. As you all know (painfully, at that, for all you Bears/Jets fans), Sunday was championship day and I went to the one place in London that is willing to put on those games (the aforementioned House of Bacchus: Sports Cafe). I went to the floor below me to finish the more important game (Steelers) in the comfort of junk food and beer with the ‘bros’. If it helps my case, I woke up at four and started drinking at six?