Anything but Politics #9: Halloween
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    This week, Gabe, Rahul and other Northwestern students get prepped for a scary halloween. In the words of Rahul, "I'm going to eat a boo-rito." Transcript below.

    Gabe Schmittlein: Hi, I'm Gabe Schmittlein.

    Rahul Parikh: I'm Rahul Parikh.

    Gabe: And for NBN Audio.

    Rahul: This is Anything but Politics.

    Gabe: Where we talk about Anything but Politics.

    Gabe and Rahul: Let's get political, political... Not.

    Rahul: So this week we're going to be talking about Halloween because it's Halloweekend.

    Gabe: It's Halloweekend.

    Rahul: That's right.

    Gabe: Get ready for a crazy old weekend, Rahul, you spooky son of a.

    Rahul: I'm going to eat a boo-rito... Yikes.

    Gabe: I liked it though, I liked it though.

    Rahul: Thanks.

    Gabe: So, yeah, we got some great interviews out in the streets with some spooky people.

    Rahul: Yeah, some spooky spirits.

    Gabe: Spooky is the theme today, so let's get right to it.

    Gabe and Rahul: Transition Music.

    *spooky music*

    Blake Valenti Parsons: Blake Valenti Parsons, I'm a sophomore in McCormick.

    Gabe: Hype.

    Rahul: So, you know what weekend's coming up.

    Blake: It's Halloweekend.

    Gabe: Yeah you got it. What are you going to be for Halloween?

    Blake: This is an interesting question, because I myself am still figuring it out.

    Gabe: Maybe we can help you a little bit.

    Blake: I'm picking between a retro tennis player and boy scout.

    Gabe: Okay, retro tennis player you get a little leg action, right?

    Blake: So the thing is I'm still in the process of trying to look for some Wimbeldon white shorts, they've got to be kind of short.

    Gabe: They've got to be really short. Show off the package, Blake!

    Blake: That's the plan.

    Rahul: Yikes!

    Blake: But see I really can complete the look because I've got some wooden tennis rackets in my room. That's the real package.

    Rahul: You know what goes great with wooden tennis rackets – wooden clogs!

    Blake: Oh I could go as a retro pirate. Retro tennis player pirate.

    Gabe: So wait, what's your other idea?

    Blake: Boy scout.

    Gabe: Oh, boy scout.

    Blake: Yeah my big and I were going to consider coordinating a costume.

    Rahul: Have you ever been a boy scout?

    Blake: No I have not.

    Rahul: Fun fact!

    Gabe: Hit me with the fun fact.

    Rahul: I was a boy scout once.

    Gabe: Good for you Rahul.

    Blake: That fact is not very fun.

    Gabe: Do you want to hear what I'm going to be for Halloween?

    Blake: I do.

    Gabe: I'm going to…

    Blake: Actually, I don't I'm sorry.

    Rahul: Wow! You're a feisty little...

    Blake: Rahul, what are you being?

    Rahul: Well I'm actually really unoriginal with my costumes, so Gabe can tell you last year I went as a college student.

    Gabe: Do you have a favorite Halloween movie?

    Blake: I'd say, I don't know. Does The Night Before Christmas count?

    Rahul: No.

    Gabe: Feels like a Christmas movie to me.

    Blake: We'll, ok. It's titled The Night Before Christmas, but...

    Gabe: No I've seen it, I've seen it. It's spooky.

    Blake: Anybody who's seen it could say it's arguably a Halloween movie.

    Gabe: I actually haven't seen it, I lied about that. Are you going to go trick-or-treating?

    Blake: Yes.

    Rahul: Where?

    Blake: To my own fraternity house, and hopefully they have candy.

    Gabe: What's your favorite type of candy?

    Rahul: Is candy code for something?

    Blake: Sour Patch Kids.

    Gabe: Oh, Sour Patch Kids.

    Blake: No, candy is not code for something.

    Gabe: A little sour, a little sweet.

    Rahul: Like candy apple vodka for example?

    Gabe: Oh! We don't talk about alcohol on the podcast.

    Rahul: We don't, because none of us drink.

    Gabe: Because none of us drink. What are you most afraid of?

    Blake: I'd say dying alone without having achieved my actual dreams.

    Rahul: Very real.

    Gabe: I'm afraid of spiders.

    Blake: Oh, were you asking like a Halloween fear?

    Gabe: No.

    Rahul: Who's the spookiest person you know? Take it as you will.

    Blake: I'm going to go with my girlfriend, Claire Julia Peterson.

    Rahul: Oh, shoutout!

    Gabe: Who's the spookiest out of me and Rahul?

    Blake: Rahul. Absolutely.

    Rahul: Can you elaborate?

    Blake: Gabe's not very spooky.

    Gabe: I smile a lot.

    Blake: It's mostly just a by default thing.

    Rahul: What makes me spooky?

    Blake: You're not necessarily spooky, it's just that Gabe is so un-spooky so it's hard to find someone less spooky.

    Rahul: Lesser of two evils, I guess. Or, I guess greater.

    Gabe: Greater of two evils.

    Rahul: Alright, well Blake Valenti Parsons, thank you so much.

    *spooky music*

    Audrey Angelos: Audrey Angelos, I'm a sophomore majoring in chemical engineering.

    Gabe: So, what are you going to be for Halloween this year Audrey?

    Audrey: I'm between being a construction worker, a tourist, and three-hole-punch Jim.

    Rahul: I'm curious as to what you picture a tourist as.

    Audrey: Well I'm thinking the stereotypical tourist, so you got your Hawaiian shirt, maybe some cargo shorts, binoculars, the bucket hat.

    Gabe: Do you want to hear my costume idea?

    Audrey: Yeah! What are you going to be?

    Gabe: So this year I'm going to dress in all red, and I'm going to put black spots all over me, and akin to the look of a lady bug, except I'm going to be a man-bug.

    Audrey: Oh, I thought you were going to be a strawberry.

    Rahul: You should tell people that you're the gentle-bug. That sounds like one of those flip phones that your parents would give you.

    Gabe: A gentle-bug?

    Rahul: Yeah.

    Gabe: Boop boop boop boop. Alright, what's your favorite Halloween movie.

    Audrey: I don't really like movies.

    Gabe: Oh, she's unique!

    Audrey: I'm more of a TV person, I could tell you my favorite Halloween episode on a TV show.

    Gabe: Sure, that wasn't the question, but sure.

    Rahul: Yeah, fine.

    Audrey: Oh, okay. I really like the [The] Office episode when Michael has to fire someone on Halloween. I think it's pretty funny. Watched it last night.

    Gabe: That is a funny one. I like that one too. Are you going to go trick-or-treating?

    Audrey: Probably not. Haven't gone trick-or-treating in quite a while.

    Gabe: Why is that?

    Audrey: I don't know.

    Gabe: Society?

    Audrey: Yeah, society kind of told me that I was too old.

    Gabe: Were you a big trick-or-treater back in the day?

    Audrey: Oh yeah!

    Gabe: Oh you got all the candy!

    Rahul: What's your best trick-or-treating story?

    Gabe: Or just any good one?

    Audrey: Well there was this really scary house next to the elementary school that I went to.

    Gabe: We all know the one.

    Audrey: It's really scary, but it has the biggest reward. It has the king-sized candy bars, so when I was maybe in first grade I got up the courage to go to the door and I got my king-sized Kit Kat bar.

    Rahul: Nice.

    Gabe: Good for you.

    Audrey: It was very rewarding.

    Gabe: It's a big moment for you. What are you most afraid of?

    Audrey: Like in the world?

    Rahul: Yeah. Commitment.

    Audrey: Commitment's a scary thing. I'm also pretty afraid of claymation movies, I think they're really freaky. Wallace and Gromit is my worst nightmare.

    Gabe: I'm afraid of when my shirt starts being a little too tight around the belly area.

    Rahul: Who's the spookiest person you know?

    Audrey: The spookiest person I know...

    Gabe: Celebrity? Random person?

    Rahul: Yeah, it could be anyone. You don't have to know them.

    Audrey: Do I know spooky people? What constitutes a spooky person?

    Gabe: You hang with a very nice crowd.

    Audrey: My mom can be pretty spooky sometimes.

    Gabe: Ooh, little shady, she's gonna be listening!

    Audrey: I know, is she gonna hear this podcast?

    Gabe: We can cut that out, just kidding!

    Rahul: We don't edit. Alright, well thank you!

    *spooky music*

    Patrick Bomher: Patrick Bomher, I am a sophomore in McCormick.

    Rahul: Great, so Patrick, what are you gonna be for Halloween this year?

    Patrick: I really don't know, I'm just going to pull something together at the last minute, maybe with the help of some of my suitemates, not really sure.

    Gabe: How about what you were last year?

    Patrick: A couple of my friends, we did a Suicide Squad

    Gabe: Oh, bad movie! Maybe good Halloween costume, I don't know.

    Patrick: It was decent Halloween costumes, they all went really hard with it.

    Gabe: Oh nice! If you ever need a Halloween costume, I was Amelia Earhart last year.

    Rahul: No he wasn't.

    Gabe: I can pack that one up for you and send it your way.

    Rahul: Gabe put on a hat, I think.

    Gabe: No, I put on my ski goggles, and a vest.

    Rahul: He put on ski goggles, and a white shirt, and a vest. He was not Amelia Earhart. So what's your favorite Halloween movie?

    Patrick: Probably Halloweentown.

    Gabe: Yeah, that's a classic. I've never seen it. I act like I've seen it though.

    Patrick: It's pretty good, it's pretty spooky.

    Rahul: You going trick-or-treating this year?

    Patrick: I wish.

    Gabe: Society right? Society says no.

    Patrick: Maybe I'll just hop on over to Wilmette or something and just crouch down.

    Gabe: That's weird, you pronounce the 'L,' I'm not sure if you're supposed to pronounce the 'L' or not. Wilmette?

    Patrick: We-met?

    Gabe: I kinda think you just slur it together, like Wuh-met.

    Patrick: I've never heard it pronounced like that, I'm sorry.

    Gabe: Alright, well. You heard it hear first, it's Wilmette.

    Rahul: Gabe's from Boston, he always says bag-ul, so.

    Gabe: Another piece of breaking news on Anything but Politics.

    Rahul: Patrick, what are you most afraid of in life? In anything?

    Patrick: Dying alone.

    Gabe: Yeah, that's a good one. I'm scared of going to the bathroom and having everyone hear me.

    Patrick: Yeah, see, like that's a very rational fear. It's very everyday.

    Rahul: Gabe, I've heard you a couple times, not gonna lie.

    Gabe: Haha, that's rude of you Rahul. Who's the spookiest person you know, celebrity?

    Rahul: Is it rude of me or is it rude of you?

    Patrick: Definitely Adam Forrest.

    Gabe: Adam Forrest? Who's that?

    Patrick: It's him. [pointing to suitemate]

    Gabe: Oh, it's him right there. Oh, Adam Forrest, little shoutout Adam Forrest.

    Patrick: So Adam is very double jointed, and there's a video of him that has what, 10,000 views now? And he's playing the piano backwards, and at one point…

    Rahul: What do you mean backwards?

    Patrick: Like his hands are behind his back.

    Rahul: Can you demonstrate?

    Patrick: He can actually demonstrate.

    Gabe: This would be good for our podcast segment: things that don't work on a podcast.

    Patrick: There's a moment where he makes eye contact with the camera, and he's like doing the whole behind the back thing.

    Stephanie: Oh my God, that's disgusting.

    Gabe: Folks, folks he's doing it right now.

    Rahul: And you can see it, on your screen!

    Patrick: He looks like the Antichrist.

    Rahul: Maybe he is the Antichrist and that's what makes him so spooky.

    Gabe: Who do you think is spookier out of me and Rahul?

    Patrick: I think you are.

    Gabe: Thank you.

    Rahul: Oh, look at that!

    Gabe: Little spooky vibes! Thank you for the interview, Patrick.

    Patrick: Thank you guys.

    Gabe: No, but honestly, it's been a pleasure.

    *spooky music*

    Gabe: Okay, those were the interviews, some pretty spooky stuff I would say.

    Rahul: I'm kind of terrified. The music really made it pop.

    Gabe: The music did make it pop. So now we're gonna do some shoutouts, Rahul what's your first shoutout?

    Rahul: My first shoutout goes to bowl thieves, so last Halloween, while I was here recording podcasts – that's a lie, we didn't start the podcast until after Halloween. My parents put out my childhood candy trick-or-treating basket, my favorite basket if you will, and you know, there are always those people who steal all the candy inside the bowl, these fine individuals actually stole the entire basket, so I was not happy, so shoutout to them, but it's an anti-shoutout.

    Gabe: Ooh, a little anti-shoutout, changing the shoutout game you are, Rahul. So my first shoutout is to people who enjoy eating Almond Joys, because they're like martyrs to society. Because nobody else wants to eat Almond Joys, but they're like taking one for the team.

    Rahul: Well first of all, that was just a shoutout to me because I love Almond Joys, and I actually think that society is the martyr for creating Almond Joys for me. That's a big sacrifice to make.

    Gabe: Yeah, you kinda convoluted that a little bit, that was interesting.

    Rahul: Yeah, I'm a politician. What can I say? Oh, too political. Our next shoutout goes to my boi AJ Jenkins.

    Gabe: Your boi.

    Rahul: My boi, yeah, we know each other, for creating the song Spooky Spooky Halloween Song.

    Gabe: Yeah, it's actually a song for kids.

    Rahul: I don't think you're ever too old for a little Spooky Spooky in your life.

    Gabe: That's true honestly, it's true. My second and last shoutout is kind of a real shoutout, it's haunted houses, I love haunted houses, love going through them, love a little bit of scardiness, ya know. My strategy, when I go through a haunted house, is to scream the whole way, in the hopes of terrifying the people who are actually working in the haunted house, that's how I go about it.

    Rahul: Wow, they really love you back Gabe.

    Gabe: Yeah I'm sure they do.

    Rahul: So yeah, those have been our shoutouts for this week, for NBN Audio.

    Gabe: This has been Anything but Politics.

    Rahul: I am Rahul Parikh.

    Gabe: And I'm Gabe Schmittlein! See you in a couple weeks.

    Rahul: Yeah!

    *spooky music*


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