Balancing the past, present and future

    My time left as an undergraduate is winding down. A friend’s Gchat status constantly reminds me of the weeks left in our final quarter. Right now it says, “6 down, 4 to go.” Some days, that seems like glass-half-full status about how near we are to starting a whole new chapter. Other days, it depresses me to no end knowing that four weeks is all I have left.

    But that leaves me in limbo. What do I do right now? Do I surround myself with my old friends, with whom I’ve shared countless memories? Reliving our pasts together atop my rooftop patio planning our next shindig sounds like a perfect night. I’m comfortable with who I know. There’s little effort in being with them and only joy comes of it.

    Or do I look for jobs and apartments downtown and in faraway cities? I’ve broached the search but made little headway. If I only think about what the future will hold, I’ll miss out on what I have all around me. 

    My time here is short, but that’s no excuse to exit life. Things will change in a month but I plan on being with the people I have around me and seeing the places I’ve come to cherish in Evanston and Chicago. Especially as a senior in college, I don’t think there is any way else to live. Every week through my four years here I’ve met new people and that shouldn’t stop. So I’ll keep going to 3 a.m. electronic shows, having afternoon pastel sessions, throwing Mad Men parties on a Tuesday or playing drunken Pictionary at midnight. It may suck that the year will end but that won’t change how I act now. Honestly, I’ll deal with that when we get there.

    Resigning to the inevitable end of college is unacceptable, if only because it’s not over just yet. I may have found it difficult to deal with moving on from some Northwestern student groups but that doesn’t mean I’m out of the social worlds. Especially when there are so many people I barely know, some that I’m just getting to know and even more that I’ve yet to meet.

    Unfortunately, I have some old friends that I don’t see as much as I want to. And by ignoring the future, I am still jobless. I’m trying to balance the two while living my life at the same time. This is my last gasp of undergrad and I’m not going to spend every day planning my life as a graduate. I may suffer from my current naïveté, but I hope I can receive my diploma with a smile knowing that I did this last quarter right.  Balance is difficult, but to live day-by-day lets me find new moments even after four years. We shouldn't dwell in nostalgia or obsess over the future because these few weeks should be the most memorable in our lives.


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