CSO dorm diaries
    Photo by Chrissy Lee / North by Northwestern

    They witness you in your darkest hours. From 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. every night, Campus Security Officers (CSOs) see NU come alive. Here are some of the most bizarre moments they’ve witnessed throughout the years.

    The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

    In Ayers several years ago, a male resident walked downstairs, dressed as none other than a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. The boy explained to the CSO, “It’s my twentieth birthday. This is my last year as a teenager, so I’m dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.” The boy went out for the night and while he was gone, the CSO found out the police were looking for a boy dressed up in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume who threatened a pizza delivery man. Eventually, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle returned to his lair, recounting his evening. “Well, my friend,” the CSO interrupted, “I have news for you. The police are looking for you.” Shocked, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle explained he didn’t make any threats—he simply asked the man for a slice of pizza. The CSO advised the resident to return to his room and, if the police came, to just explain what happened. “But first,” he said, “Get out of that costume.”

    The Wardrobe Malfunction

    Once upon a Dillo Day, a CSO was sitting at the entrance of McCulloch when a group of female residents entered the building. The CSO was reading when the CA beside him said, “Why is your bra out?” He looked up from his book, but didn’t notice anything. The CA repeated the question. The CSO glanced up again and noticed that the girl had indeed removed a red bra from beneath her white tank top and was holding it in her hand. She had her reasons: “I got spilled on.”

    Dillo Deer Day

    At about 3 a.m. one Dillo Day, a man from Facilities Management walked into Plex and asked the CSO for a box and blanket, explaining he had found a fawn outside. Earlier in the day, her mother had been killed, and the man was trying to protect the orphan. The Plex lobby then became a temporary baby deer shelter.

    Wildcat Welcome Delirium

    On the first day of Wildcat Welcome one year, a girl in Bobb-McCulloch came downstairs at about 4 a.m. in a black dress, waving around a wad of cash. “I have money. Where can I get food?” she asked. Taken aback, he suggested going to Burger King, but she wasn’t having it. “I don’t know where that is!” The CSO showed her a map, explaining the glamorous restaurant was about a mile away. When the girl exclaimed she definitely couldn’t walk that far, the CSO offered some of his food.

    The girl refused, saying, “No, I want real food. I want chips,” which prompted the CSO to hold up his bag of Sun Chips. He said she could take it to her room, but she sat down in front of his desk, opened the bag and said, “We’re going to talk and be best friends.” Puzzled, she finally asked, “Am I in McCulloch?” The CSO said she was in Bobb, which is connected to McCulloch so she could access her room without going outside. The girl went upstairs, but after a few minutes, the CSO heard the distinctive sound of Sun Chips crunching from the stairwell.

    When asked if she needed help, she replied, “I’m lost. I don’t know how to get to my room.” She knew her floor, but not the room number. The CSO patiently walked her up the stairs, saying to look for the door with her name on it.


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