It’s midterm round two around here (or even round three, round five, round seventeen???), and all your back-home friends are back home. But while they’re prepping for summer jobs, you’re psyching yourself up for Dillo Day! So chin up, ‘Cats. Take a step back and remind yourself why you decided to come to this school in the first place, which – if you’ve forgotten – is Dillo Day, the only thing getting you through the lengthy quarter system.
Three weeks away:
1. Tan. If you're into that.
The sun is (kind of, just barely, only sometimes) out – try your best. This week’s weather radar isn’t looking too hot, both figuratively and literally, but maybe between those showers, PM showers, thunderstorms, PM thunderstorms, scattered thunderstorms and varying levels of cloudiness, you’ll be able to get a little color on you.
The trick is to quickly whip your clothes on and off at any slight inclination from the sky above. Sunny? Pull off your raincoat and soak up the rays – even if it is only 54 degrees! Starting to drizzle? Quick draw on the umbrella. #DoIt4Dillo
If, for whatever reason, you don’t require a tan, I congratulate you and your lifetime of healthy skin. Move along, you healthy skinned person you, to the following listed items.
Quirky, nerdy tourists have touted them for years. Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson caressed his with a tender, gentle love. Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Motherswore by its “hands-free” ease of use. Folks, the fanny pack rocks, especially since large cell phones have also come back into vogue.
For footwear, look for black. Who knows what godforsaken liquid will spill/spurt/splash/forever-and-totally-ruin your chic and trendy white canvas sneakers? And make sure they’re comfy.
Hats and sunglasses are also important, if you’re planning on looking like an undercover model or if you’re just really into sun protection. Check out fedoras for classic charm, or neon snapbacks to match your bro-tank.
CAUTIONARY NOTE: Alcoholic substances have long held a memorable place in the hearts of Dillo-ers long past. HOWEVER, they are only recommended to students aged 21 and over, because no one else ever drinks at Northwestern. (Duh.) Also, this section does not in any way imply that all students should or do drink. It is merely for the select population of 21-year-olds, graduate TAs, professors and Evanston residents who have made personal choices to imbibe on Dillo Day.
So! If you’re not prepared, Dillo Day could end before it even begins. Develop a game plan: How much can you take per hour? As we all learned from the highly informative Alcohol ENU during Wildcat Welcome, more experienced drinkers with higher body mass can tolerate more alcohol.
How, then, does one become “experienced”?
Simple. Face it as you would any other endeavor that you would like be “experienced” in: expose yourself to the activity or substance, until your body is sufficiently trained.
Perhaps you could begin drinking at different times of day. NBN does NOT AT ALL recommend this extremely dangerous, all-day drinking game, which is restricted to ADVANCED DRINKERS ONLY. However, to merely provide entertainment value for your training, establish a set of Kings-style rules for imbibition during the day. Examples of Northwestern-themed rules include:
- Every time you see a tour group on campus.
- Every time someone says, “Go ‘Cats!”
- Every time someone says the word “pre-professionalism.”
- Every time you feel like skipping discussion.
- Or, as a counter to that, every time you feel like going to discussion. Use your discretion.
For your own safety, please limit yourself to a few rules at a time. If you choose to drink, do so wisely; train your body. If not, good for you! You anti-tanning, anti-drinking people will live up to be 150 years old. No matter how you Dillo, you’ll still have a great time. (Just remember to accessorize.)