Dillo Day can take any number of turns throughout the course of the day. Whether that's on a bigger scale (like last year's rain delay) or on a more personal level (that one shot too many that derails the entire festivities), there really isn't a simple Point A to Point B for the greatest day of the year. Particularly for those about to experience their first Dillo, it may be easier to dream of the best-case scenario, while those wise to the ways of the day from years past may be more realistic about the outcome. Below, two writers (a newbie freshman on the left, a seasoned Dillo-er on the right) examine two potential outcomes, one more hopeful, but both equally alcohol-soaked. It's up to you to figure out which path you'll end up on come Saturday.
Dreaming of a perfect Dillo
By Tanner Howard
Sure, Dillo Day is supposed to be a marathon, not a sprint. With that in mind, plan on carefully working through the day, balancing the need to rest with the desire to remain, how to put it, not entirely sober. There’s no way to know if the careful planning will work out, or if it'll be a tragic Dillo Day odyssey to scare next year’s freshman with, but the only way to find out is go for it, right? Drink and eat wisely, and, above all else, avoid passing out in a foreign location.
10:30 a.m.: Wake up
I’ve heard tales of people waking as early as 8 am to begin pregaming for Dillo. My question: why the rush? While the goal is to remain perpetually inebriated throughout the entirety of the day, waking up earlier than you would for classes seems excessive. Aiming for 10:30 should give enough time to properly prepare for the beginning of the day while getting enough sleep the night before to fight exhaustion.
10:35 a.m.: Shower beer
Speaking of preparing, plan on indulging in a Dillo tradition passed down from generation to generation: the shower beer. It seems almost disgusting and easily the most college thing conceivable. But on Dillo Day, it just feels right.
11:15 a.m.: Breakfast
Having a full stomach makes it harder to remain drunk, but it's also clear that not eating on Dillo Day would be a major no-no. Plan on stocking up on pancakes, eggs, and as much fruit to start the morning on the right note.
12 p.m.: More drinking
To adequately prepare for leg one of the day, aim to further imbibe before heading for the first acts. If done properly, this should carry you for the next few hours of glorious music.
12:30-6 p.m.: Music
OK, OK, I get it, jaded upperclassmen. Without having experiencing Dillo Day in the past, it's easy to assume it will be easy to make it through the entire afternoon. Even though it probably won't work out, the goal should be to spend a majority of the afternoon catching as much music as possible. Plan on starting the afternoon at the mainstage with SyndicatedTraphouse, a potent combination of jazz and rap that will energize you for the rest of the day. Then, plan on dipping to the Indie U stage at 1 for psych-punk act Running, perhaps taking a break around 2 depending on your feeling towards the acts. Getting to see Chance the Rapper will bring a much-needed dose of energy at 3, with another potential breather around 4. Worst case, sprint back home for a 30-minute catnap and snack and drink break.
6 p.m.: Dinner
While plenty of people will be eating around this time, hopefully you can grab some grub from one of the many food trucks to refuel for the final push. Or, plan to return home for a bit to simultaneously relax, nosh, and continue consuming questionable amounts of illicit substances.
6:30-9 p.m.: More music
Alright, this is the final push. Of course, Dillo Day throws plenty of obstacles in the way to making it to the end without passing out: too much drinking, too much dancing, and being in the sun adds up. But if you can make it through my classes on little to no sleep, surely you can manage to stay awake until 9.
9-11 p.m.: Nap
If somehow the wildly optimistic gameplan plays out, you should be sufficiently wiped by this point. While it's easy to imagine that many head off-campus immediately to continue the festivities, plan on letting yourself recuperate for a little while before considering heading out again.
11 p.m.: Head out
If everything above works out, you shouldn't have any problem calling it an early night after the music has finished. Getting to see each of the acts perform could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and if you don’t get the chance to go out again, it won’t be the end of the world. That being said, if the two-hour nap sufficiently recharges your batteries, now's the perfect time to join some friends and head out for a little late-night fun.
1 a.m.: Pass out
After returning from a glorious day of music, moshing, and other questionable decisions, aim to return home and enter the deepest sleep of your life. No saying whether this plan will come to fruition, or if you'll instead find yourself passed out in Kresge at 4 a.m. Sunday morning. The only thing you can do is hope for the best.
Let's face it, this might not end well
By John Hardberger
Last year, Dillo proved not to be a marathon so much as a Tough Mudder. Tough in that it was tough to sing along to Smashmouth’s unnervingly off-tempo rendition of their hit, “All Star” after drinking away the rainy afternoon in my dorm; Mudder in that the Lakefill basically turned into a pigpen when it reopened post-torrential downpour. Even when the weather is good, Dillo Day is a difficult tightrope walk. To accomplish all your goals – seeing bands, seeing friends, maintaining just the right BAC to really get the most of your day – you have to do more than just plan. You have to be lucky. But a plan is certainly a start.
11:30 a.m.: Wake up, still hung-over from the night before
Man, that 11 pm Wrestlepocalypse showing was a great idea. You drank, you laughed, you awkwardly realized that you almost hooked up with one of the performers in the fall. But, arriving home in the wee hours of the night (still pleasantly inebriated), you failed to set an alarm. Your roommates invited your clique over to start drinking at nine, and your suite/apartment/front lawn is already crowded with bare-armed aquaintances.
11:45 a.m.: Shower beer – got to catch up somehow
It just isn’t Dillo without the consumption of some kind of alcohol behind a shower curtain. Perhaps, though they did start the party without you, your roommate was kind enough to leave a couple of cold ones on the shampoo shelf. Maybe you’re not off to such a start after all.
12:30 p.m.: Breakfast margaritas
Yes, it’s important to fuel up before the festivities get going in proper, and nothing says “up and at ‘em” like a classic margarita. Margaritas are basically designed to get you going, with such ingredients as ice to hydrate you, sugar to give the boost you need to make this day yours, tequila to help convince you that a backwards hat is a good idea and limes to ward off scurvy. Just as you start to lay into your first frosty glass, you realize that your residence has become significantly less crowded. What’s that, Lassie? The student act already started?
1:00-1:30 p.m.: Wait in entrance line (with booze in soda bottle)
There’s a good chance the student act got canceled due to the roving clouds, but either way, it’s almost impossible to tell from the entrance line on the southern end of the Lakefill. The narrow Norris bridge never seemed so impassible as now, cordoned off by the fuzz. You surreptitiously finish off your Sprite bottle spiked with vodka and toss it in the trash as you cross onto the Lakefill. Let the party begin!
1:30 p.m.: Hear music until an act you don’t care about comes on
You timed this so well! Look at you! The indie-rock opener is playing that one song of theirs that you know by heart/are aware of! You can even see your friends dancing near the front. You squeeze up to meet them and have a lovely afternoon, getting your faces painted and making fools out of yourselves in the ball pit in between sets.
6:30 p.m.: that one act you don’t really care about comes on
That’s when you have to make a run for it. By this point, either the food trucks have packed up and rolled out or you’ve forgotten that there were going to be food trucks at Dillo Day. Run home. Grab some grub along the way. Regroup with friends you missed earlier. Just as you make it back to your abode, the clouds that threatened earlier finally open. At least one act you were excited about gets canceled.
??? – 8 p.m.: hide inside
It was bound to happen at some point. You and your friends gather somewhere warm and dry to wait for the news – is this it? Is Dillo Day cancelled? Well, we had a good run, guys. Being respectful, you each pour one out for Dillo Day. Wait, what’s that? The rain’s cleared up and the show is back on? Long live Dillo Day – everyone take a celebration shot!
8 p.m.: 2 Chainz!!!
Having caught your second wind (and seventh or eighth shot), you are prepared afresh for Dillo Day. Like a phoenix, you rise from your damp, muddy ashes and charge the Lakefill. No way security is going to stop you, it’s time for 2 Chainz! You and your posse proceed to have one of the wildest, most fun nights you definitely cannot completely remember.
11:30 p.m.: Somehow home again?
Wait, weren’t there supposed to be fireworks? How did you wind up back where you started? Trekking through the scattered beer cans and tracked-in mud, you find your roommates had the good grace to order a pizza. You are confused about where the rest of the night went, and everyone is looking at you bemusedly, but for now everything’s good. There is pizza and friends. Someone’s talking about going out again. But, for now, everything is settled. At piece. You made it through another Dillo. Congratulations.