Drinks to pretend you're warm

    After our annual two weeks of fall, another freaking-cold winter is rapidly approaching. Once the temperature drops below 40, watermelon flavored vodka really stops cutting it on the weekends, and lots of us would be reaching for Fireball to satisfy our Holiday flavored needs.

    But apparently, America’s second favorite liqueur has been adding too much antifreeze into their bottles, which is unsettling because that means it’s okay to add more than zero antifreeze to your drinks. It’s also unsettling because something that’s about 30 percent cinnamon syrup is one of our nation’s favorite drinks.

    Personal opinions about Fireball aside, we’ve collected some options to make sure you can enjoy some antifreeze-free wintertime drinks.

    Hot Chocolate and Kahlua

    Just make your favorite hot chocolate and toss some Kahlua in it. This is the drink for when it’s Christmas Eve, ginormous snowflakes are falling outside and your family is all gathered around the fireplace, laughing and joking like you’re inside of some holiday stock photo.

    It’s got chocolate, alcohol and is holiday themed. There is no way you won’t feel good drinking this. And if you toss in a candy cane as a stirrer and make it totally cute.

    Bourbon, Neat

    When you drink Fireball, you want to take goofy GoPro videos. When you have a glass of bourbon, you feel like you’re instantly way more sophisticated and cool.

    No gimmicks, no syrups, no wacky flavors and definitely no watering down. There’s only the sharp taste of 80 proof whiskey and oak, and it lights a fire in your throat and your spirit. This is what Fireball wants to be when it grows up.

    Unfortunately, it’s nigh impossible to support 80-dollar bottles of fine whiskey on a college budget. Rich and complex, a $20 bottle of Jim Bean Black is a decent approximation of fanciness, and won’t burn your insides like Jim Bean White.

    Rum and Tea

    You make tea and then put rum in it. It sounds good any hour of the day, the recipes are stupidly simple and you can twist it any way you want.

    Want to relax after a long day? More tea! Want to make it frutier? Use a fruit-flavored tea! Trying to sneakily make your family gathering palatable? Add lots of rum! Seriously, it’s hard to mess this up.

    Avoid spiced rums here, you get all the extra flavors from your tea. Try Don Q Cristal, which is smooth and delicate. It’s also extremely cheap.


    Nothing sounds like the holidays quite to me like that time your crazy German grandma told you creepy German fairytales and got you drunk on Glüwein when you were, like, eight. Like most German holiday treats, it has way too many spices and should be portioned with care, unless you like your taste buds unable to taste anything but cinnamon for days.

    To make it is easy: add a bottle of red wine, cinnamon sticks, cloves and a whole sliced lemon to a pot and then almost boil it for 10 minutes. Bam, you’ve got something full of way too much holiday spice. If you want to take it up another notch, toss in some brandy. That’s what grandma does at least.


    Legend has it during one of the numerous wars between England and France, normal wine stopped getting made. Those uppity aristocrats weren’t going to stand for not getting drunk quickly, so some quick thinking brewers came up with barleywine to capitalize on the situation, in the process producing one of the first beers with alcohol content in the 8-12 percent range.

    Modern styles use hops that leave it pretty bitter and give it a nice pine-flavored sharpness. Getting the alcohol up that high requires some extra sugar, often honey or Belgian candi sugar, which add their own floral or molasses-like flavor.

    Bigfoot from Sierra Nevada is a decently cheap ($10 per six pack) barleywine that’s available pretty much everywhere.


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