Harry Potter on campus

    Hogwarts Great Hall Deering’s Eloise W. Martin Reading Room: The Great Hall serves as Hogwarts’s main gathering spot. Deering achieves medieval mystique, but lacks mass congregational appeal (see food restrictions and silence policies) and magic.

    Hogwarts Tunnels Northwestern Tunnels: Hogwarts Tunnels lead to provincial outpost Hogsmeade (specifically, the cellar of premier magical treats distributor Honeydukes). Northwestern Tunnels lead to purported network of top-secret subterranean laboratories, and a steam-era furnace in the basement of Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary.

    Gryffindor Willard: Come on. Celebrity alumni and champions’ mentality leave no other option.

    Slytherin Bobb: Tough call, but Bobb’s urine/vomit encrusted walls most closely align with Slytherin’s dungeon ambience.

    Ravenclaw Slivka: Lots of really focused Asians.

    Hufflepuff Anything SESP.

    “Arithmancy” Putative SESP standby “Learning and Organizational Change”: Reportedly difficult course of study that everyone seems to have heard of but can’t for the life of them define.

    Room of Requirement Blomquist: By extension, Dumbledore’s Army might loosely find equivalence in the Badminton squad, the breakdancers or the assorted middle-aged faculty members trying earnestly to learn the “Single Ladies” dance.


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