The writer’s strike has officially ceased to ruin my life. House is back… again. No more long breaks, no more Christmas episodes in late January. Four guaranteed new episodes of sarcasm and self-loathing. I can’t wait.
Spoiler alert! Reader discretion is advised.
Have you ever seen one of those kids who can roll their eye back in their head? Well, that kid might be dying. Jeff, our victim for this episode, was accompanying his wife in the nurses’ picket line outside of the hospital when his eye rolled back in his head and he passed out.
The good thing about fainting outside of the hospital is that good health care is only a step away. Unfortunately since all the hospital’s nurses were on strike, good health care is relative. House notices Jeff when he realizes that he’s being nice, despite the chaos and the long wait. Nice is a symptom that prompts House to action, and he immediately takes up the case, saying, “I’ve got to stop this before it spreads.”
While the team is busy trying to make Jeff live, House is engaged in the much more interesting pursuit of destroying the Wilson’s relationship with Cutthroat Bitch. First he requests play time, then he violates that play time. So, they go to the only mildly responsible adult on the episode to sort things out: Cuddy. House gets Wednesday’s until 11:00 p.m. and every other weekend.
Jeff’s tests come back positive for neuro-syphillis, which means nice really is a symptom. Kutner takes this a step further, and decides jerk is also a symptom, and thus House must have neuro-syphillis. So he tests a blood sample, which also comes back positive. Too bad House switched the blood samples ages ago. He plays along, convincing the team that as he gets better, his diagnostic skills become worse. They are concerned. He is ecstatic.
So ecstatic that he tells Wilson. Who tells Cutthroat Bitch. Who tells the team. Ut-oh.
His fun may end, but the blood switch leads Kutner to the real solution. Jeff caught a disease while he was in Costa Rica that causes a false positive on syphilis tests. It’s curable with a month of pills. Everything is good.
Except for House and Amber. Due to their breech of Wilson-sharing contract, Cuddy makes them change soiled sheets in the ER.
Quote of the episode: “I don’t sleep with everyone who’s better than Hitler.” Cameron